Ma?l had been right about the car rental place. The woman asked to keep Ma?l’s passport as a guarantee but waved the requirement when he dropped a cool THB 80k in cash in front of her. This was over half of his earnings from the fight with Trevor. The old Toyota Corolla they were renting wasn’t worth that much in the first place. If anything, she'd prefer if they never returned the car.

  Ma?l inspected their new ride briefly. Everything seemed in order and it even had a full tank of gas.

  “Where to?” Kaori asked as she climbed in the driver seat.

  Ma?l sat in the passenger seat after a small pause. He’d have argued, but he couldn’t find any legitimate objection. Besides, he felt dead tired and hurt all over. All the drinking, the dancing, the lack of sleep, the fighting—everything seemed to catch up on him all at once. He looked at Kaori and winced in shame as he realized she was fresh as a daisy. She was tough!

  “Where do you want to go?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I was thinking about getting an isolated house somewhere—we can find one on Airbnb. As long as we don’t stay in Pratchuap, we can go anywhere.”

  “Won’t Airbnb report our location directly?”

  “Normally, they are supposed to report our stay to the police with a TM 30 form, but in practice we’ll be long gone before they file the form. That’s what I was counting on originally. Then Noi offered us a room at the Peninsula and I thought it was safer.

  “We can head South, down to Krabi for sea, beaches and beautiful limestone cliffs, but quite a few tourists. A bit further south, you have Trang, which isn’t quite as nice but much less touristy. Or on the other hand, we can go North into the jungles near Myanmar. There are almost no foreign tourists around there, mostly Thais.”

  “Osusume wa nan des ka?” she said with a smile.

  “My recommendation?” Ma?l asked. He pulled out a coin and flipped it. “Heads.”

  “South it is then.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Two destinations South, one to the North. If you pick randomly, it’s twice as likely to be South, no?”

  Ma?l smiled.

  “By that logic, it'd always be South... You just want to go to the beach, don’t you?”

  “And what if I do?”

  “Well, then you should turn left here.” He pointed to an alley they had almost passed.

  Kaori feigned right then slammed the wheel to the left. The car drifted sideways with a squeal of the tires and shot inside the alley. Ma?l groaned. He’d prepared a bunch of jokes about women drivers to tease Kaori but her control of the car was ridiculously good—better than his, if he was being honest. He’d never be that honest though.

  “You could have taken the next one, you know?”

  “You asked for this one.”

  “Left again, then right and straight through to the main road. And watch out for the motorbikes, they come out of nowhere in any random direction.”

  “Got it. Do they also fall from the sky?”

  “Nah, only you do that.” Ma?l chortled.

  “I—Yes, I do, don’t I?”

  “Take a left on the main road, then you can go straight down for about 500 km. Speed limit is largely optional, but don’t go too wild, we don’t want to attract unwanted attention. Let me know when you want to swap. I’m going to catch some Zzz.”

  He pulled his seat lever and curled into the reclined seat.

  Driving was as straightforward as it could be. A long stretch of road with three lanes, mostly straight. Fortunately they were spared further Songkran mayhem, although she could see a number of pickup trucks carrying drums of icy water.

  Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

  She looked around, taking in the landscape as she drove. It was largely unremarkable, rows of small town houses, fruit stands and the occasional temple. On the other side of the road, she could see densely packet trees looming tall above the buildings—jungle was never very far in Thailand.

  She glanced at the man laying at her side. Ma?l looked exhausted. He was curled up into the seat and was busy trying to fall asleep. She brushed her hand over his knee and he groaned lightly. Her big bad bear looked so vulnerable and innocent. Let the man sleep, she chided herself, turning her attention to the road ahead.

  They still had a long way to go, and it was her first time driving such an old, low-end car. It lacked the luxury and comfort of her Lexus, to say nothing of the power, but it was just as well. In spite of the staggering number of miles on the counter, the engine purred along without a complaint and the car blended perfectly in the traffic.

  Ma?l hadn’t been kidding about the motorbikes. These guys were crazy, weaving in and out of traffic without a care in the world, but the cars were hardly any better. They crossed all three lanes seemingly at random, without ever using their turn signals. It was just as well, for the ride was somewhat boring.

  “Ma?l! Wake up!” Kaori shock his knee with some urgency.

  “What’s happening?” he answered, looking around for a danger of some kind.

  “There’s a police blockade ahead.”

  He groaned, looking unconcerned. “So?”

  “I don’t have my driver license with me!”

  “Oh, is that all? Doesn’t matter, it wouldn’t be valid here anyway. Just tell them you forgot in Japanese and smile apologetically.”

  “They speak Japanese?”

  “Of course not. And probably no English either.”

  Their planning session was cut short as one of the policemen waved them over. Kaori stopped and lowered her window, nervous.

  The policeman peered into the car.

  “Sawasdee Krap.” he stretched his hand.

  Kaori began a tirade in Japanese, but it was cut short by Ma?l who handed the car’s papers and returned the greeting. Below the papers was a crisp 500 baht note. The man looked at the papers and returned them, minus the note.

  “Djep Roy, Krap” the policeman said with a smile.

  Everything’s in order.

  Ma?l waved the man good bye and prompted Kaori to drive on.

  “Did you just bribe the police?” she seemed perplexed.

  “That’s how it works: if everything is in order, you don’t have to pay anything. You don’t have a license, so we have to pay a fine.”

  “But that wasn’t a fine, it was a bribe!”

  “Look. This is not Japan. These guys earn about 50,000 yen a month and they have to pay for their uniforms and side arms. Even though no one will admit it officially, bribery is expected, otherwise, they wouldn’t be able to feed their families. Several times a month, they have a road block and get a little side income from infringing motorists such as ourselves.”

  “That’s crazy.”

  “Not really, if you think about it. When you pay a fine officially, it goes up to the government who then misappropriates it in a variety of ways. Here at least, it helps the local cops and avoid the insanity that passes for justice in Western countries.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “In the West, in this same situation, they would confiscate our car, issue a large fine and ask you to show up to the tribunals. And for what? You were driving fine, right? Which way is better?”

  She paused, unsure of what to say.

  “Why don’t you stop over at the next gas station? There’s a Café Amazon, we could both use a nice cold drink and we still need to book a place to stay.” Ma?l said with a convincing smile, changing the topic. “Their coffee is great.”

  Minutes later, they were inside, Ma?l sipping on a large Iced Late. He’d pulled the laptop they bought at Central World and they browsed short term rentals on Airbnb. With prices being a non-issue, Ma?l soon selected an isolated mansion on Ko Yao Yai, a large island midway between Phuket and Krabi. Surprisingly, it was part of neither, administratively.

  “Isn’t that going to be too touristic?”

  “You’d be surprised. Phuket beaches are super crowded, but if you cross to Ko Yao Yai, there’s almost no one. Most tourists want to party, go shopping, watch shows, get massages… There’s hardly anything to do on Ko Yao Yai. In fact, most of the people who visit Phuket don’t know the island exists. We might even have the beach to ourselves.”

  “The place looks great.” she said with a smile.

  Ma?l completed the booking. “And now, it’s ours. You’ve been making good time so far, we should be there around 5 pm. Wanna swap?”

  Kaori inspected him. He didn’t look any more fresh than he did before his nap. If anything, he looked worse.

  “Nah. Just get some more sleep. You look exhausted.”

  He didn’t protest.