“I can’t stand it to think my life is going so fast and I’m not really living it.” ― Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises

  ???

  Gaius’s eyes lowered to the desk, nodding. He could hardly blame Lady Yuliana if she chose to make such a drastic move. The last six years of inaction had hardly endeared Prince Rem in her eyes. Or even that of House Nightray, as well as that of the other Great Houses.

  Frankly, the fact that neither House Nightray nor Lord Hunt had said a word about Prince Lucien thus far was a miracle in the making.

  “I swear it, my lady,” Gaius murmured.

  Yulia nodded. “Enjoy the rest of your day,” she said, turning to leave. She reached for the doorknob and opened the door, only to pause in her tracks.

  Because standing just outside Gaius’s office was Prince Rem, the smile frozen on his face, and his shoulders stiff with surprise. He looked as though he hadn’t expected to see her. The Crown Prince was still in his Academy uniform, with his Crownsguard just a few paces down the hallway. The Crownsguard nodded politely to Yulia.

  “…Oh… Yulia…” Rem murmured in a voice so low that even Yulia had to strain her ears to catch the words.

  Yulia didn’t react, even as she looked at Rem. She didn’t smile. There wasn’t any anger in her gaze, either. Just…nothing. And somehow, that was worse. Rem would have preferred anger or even annoyance. Anything would have been better than this emptiness.

  Yulia nodded her head politely to Rem. “Your Highness.” Her voice was cool and formal. She then walked past him and down the hallway, not even giving Rem a chance to speak.

  Rem’s forlorn expression as he entered the office, with the Crownsguard waiting outside as is protocol, tugged at Gaius’s heartstrings as he watched from behind his desk. The Crown Prince looked devastated, with despair and guilt visible in every line of his expression, and even in the stiffness of his shoulders.

  “Give her some time,” Gaius said quietly, and Rem turned towards him. “Your inactions over the years has hurt her more deeply than I think you realise. And even damaged her trust in you. You need to show and prove to Lady Yuliana that you’ve truly changed. And not just say it, Your Highness. You need to show it to her with your actions. Prove that you’ve truly changed.”

  Rem’s smile was sad even as he pulled out the chair that Yulia had used earlier, sitting on it. “I certainly wouldn’t blame her if she hates me and refuses to forgive me,” he murmured, his voice full of guilt. “I’m honestly surprised House Nightray had yet to turn their backs on the royal family. That House had made it clear over the years just who they would prefer to see on the throne, and it certainly isn’t me.” He swallowed nervously. “If the other Great Houses, House Kael in particular, knew that there was another with royal blood, they would have backed Luca in an instant.”

  Those words are strangely similar to those that Lady Yuliana had said, Gaius realised.

  “You’re going to have to work to earn their trust and prove that you’re worthy,” Gaius said at last. “House Nightray has served the royal line for centuries. Since this kingdom’s inception when the first Nightray head swore fealty to the first king of Alathia, and helped him to build this nation from the ground up.” Rem nodded. He knew as much from his studies. “And they aren’t just the royal guardians. Every king and prince who followed the counsel and advice of a Nightray never went wrong. Those who didn’t paid the price.”

  Gaius paused. “Your late father, the Goddess keep his soul, ignored Lord Hamilton’s advice more times than I cared to count. He didn’t follow Lord Hamilton’s counsel, and it ended up dragging Alathia into a war with Nuvelle that could have been avoided.”

  Rem grimaced. He certainly didn’t need the reminder of the hows and whys of the war.

  “And he ignored Lord Hamilton, too, when it came to Prince Lucien,” Gaius murmured.

  Rem winced. Luca’s name was nearly taboo, even amongst those who knew of his existence. King Edric had forbidden all mentions about Luca the moment that his twin was exiled and sent far north with just a Crownsguard and Ewan Nightray as his guardians and protectors. And while Yulia said nothing, Rem knew that she had never forgiven him for remaining silent.

  This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

  While there is no proof, Rem knew his father well enough to know that if not for the war, King Edric would have sent assassins after Luca. That was probably why Queen Lysandra had insisted that Luca’s assigned Crownsguard accompany him. And even why Lord Hamilton had assigned a member of House Nightray as Luca’s guardian.

  “Luca…” Rem whispered.

  Gaius studied Rem for several moments. Finally, he spoke again, his voice careful. “Your Highness, if you can humour me? Why didn’t you ever release Prince Lucien?” He wanted to know. “The late king is gone. No one is going to say anything to stop you if you decide to release him, or even reveal his existence to the realm.”

  Rem said nothing for several moments, only staring at the polished wood of Gaius’s desk. When he finally spoke, his voice was hoarse and full of guilt. “I don’t know why I never did,” he admitted at last, unable to look at Gaius. “At first, it was because Father forbade it. That’s what I told Yulia when she first approached me after the mourning period, asking for Luca’s release. Before Father and Mother both left for the battlefield, Father made me swear never to release Luca. I wasn’t even allowed to mention his name. He didn’t even allow Mother to keep any keepsakes and pictures of Luca that she had.”

  Rem chuckled bitterly, recalling how furious Queen Lysandra had been. If his father hadn’t been the king, he would guess that his mother would have started plotting his assassination.

  “Mother was furious with him, right until the end,” he admitted. “I guess that half the reason why Mother went to war was also because she wanted to build a power base of her own. To gather enough support and allies to challenge Father. And to bring Luca back.”

  Gaius nodded solemnly.

  The queen of Alathia traditionally remained in the capital while the king led campaigns. It’s to ensure that should the worst happens, there will be someone as the head of state, and as regent, until the next king is ready to take the throne.

  But Queen Lysandra had gone to war and died for Alathia.

  Her death was also part of the reason why Alathia is in the mess it now is. If Queen Lysandra had been alive, she would never have allowed Parliament to do the things they did.

  “And then, after the war…” Rem trailed off slowly. “I thought that revealing Luca might destabilise the realm. That it would raise too many questions, especially from the Great Houses, should they learn that there is another prince. And about the line of succession. About what Father did. And that all this time, there has been another prince. The rightful Crown Prince, in fact. One with more claim to the throne.”

  He chewed on his lower lip. “Because the truth is that I was never meant to be the king or even the Crown Prince. Luca was the firstborn. He’s the one meant to succeed the throne. Even now, I still thought that if it’s Luca, he probably wouldn’t have made the mess I did. Alathia wouldn’t be in this state. The kingdom would never have starved, with people dying, if he had been in charge. Because Luca would never have allowed Parliament to spiral out of control. The moment he so much as heard whispers about people starving, he would have acted, no matter how Parliament or the people sees him. That’s the kind of person he is.” Rem looked at Gaius. “I was also afraid that it would affect the way people would perceive Father. But maybe, deep down… I think I was just afraid of losing everything.”

  “That you’ll lose Lady Yuliana?” Gaius asked gently.

  Rem nodded. “She never treated me like a prince,” he said quietly. “I was always just ‘Rem’ to her, and I liked that. Back when we were kids, Yulia and Luca just…fit so well together. They understood each other. I was always on the outside, looking in. I think that might also be part of the reason why Yulia was so angry with me back then. It’s not just because I didn’t defend my brother. It’s because Father took away her best friend. And I did nothing to stop it.”

  Rem sighed. “And also maybe…” He hesitated. “Part of me was afraid that if I reveal Luca’s existence…” He trailed off slowly.

  “You’ll lose your status as Crown Prince. And maybe even Lady Yuliana herself,” Gaius finished.

  Rem nodded. “I’m selfish for thinking that, I know,” he admitted, his voice full of guilt. “But back then, when the exile order was first handed down, and Father told me that the public notice that would be sent out would name me as Crown Prince, there was a part of me that felt…happy.” He admitted, unable to look at Gaius. “Because for so long, I was the overlooked one. Luca was the one Yulia looked at. That Mother smiles at. And that even the Crownsguards who guards us respected more. Even House Nightray loves him more, and not as the Crown Prince. I was always in Luca’s shadow. Father is the only one who looks at me, and even then, it wasn’t always for the right reasons. With Luca gone… I had a chance to be seen. But even still, Yulia didn’t look at me.”

  Rem sighed. “And then, I realised… What I really wanted wasn’t the love and adoration of those around me. And neither was it the throne. I just wanted my brother to look at me. To be by my side. I wanted Luca’s acknowledgement. Yulia’s acknowledgement. That’s…really all I ever wanted. But now… It’s too late.” He whispered.

  Gaius studied Rem carefully. “It’s not too late,” he said gently. “You can still fix things. No one is going to fault you for feeling the way you do towards your brother, Your Highness. But if I may, you should really consider acknowledging what was done to Prince Lucien and take steps to rectify it, and grant him his freedom. It might go a long way in repairing the Crown’s relationship with House Nightray. But apart from that, Prince Rem, I believe that you need to talk to Lady Yuliana and clear the air.”

  Rem nodded. “I know. Just…not now,” he said quietly. “Maybe once we fix the issues in the kingdom…” He trailed off slowly.

  Gaius smiled faintly. “Don’t rush it,” he said. “You’ve been doing so well lately. Don’t rush into things and stumble by moving too quickly. You have to wait until Lady Yuliana is ready to talk to you.”

  Rem nodded, before straightening in his chair and looking at Gaius. “I came here today for something else as well,” he said, changing the subject quickly, reaching into his satchel, pulling out a thick folder and handing it to Gaius. “We had a debate in Politics class today, and something a classmate brought up sparked a really productive discussion that lasted the entire lesson.”

  Gaius flipped through the folder, his eyebrows nearly disappearing into his hair when he read the well-constructed proposal that Rem had drafted. “A proposal for community task groups led by retired veterans to assist with rebuilding and supply routes in the rural areas,” he murmured. “And the formation of civilian security forces comprised of retired veterans. A well-reasoned plan.”

  Rem nodded. “Something similar came up during the Debate Hall sessions last year. But I refined it with help from the person who proposed it. If we form these units under proper oversight, they could free up Protectorate for more important tasks.”

  Gaius closed the folder, nodding. “That is actually a very good idea, but there must be checks put in place, like there already are for Protectorate and the other military branches.” He looked at Rem. “A well-written proposal, especially for your first time, Your Highness.”

  Rem gave a small smile. “I’m going to do what I can,” he said quietly. “And not just for Yulia or Luca. But for the people. And because it’s also the right thing to do.” He swallowed nervously. “In regard to Luca, I need some time. Let me think about it.”

  Gaius met his gaze and nodded. “I’ll wait until you’re ready,” he said. “And so will Lady Yuliana, I believe. You’re trying now. You’re taking responsibility. And you’re no longer taking people at face value. You’re growing, Your Highness, and facing up to your mistakes. And that is the beginning of a king.”