Chapter 1

  The porch boards creaked underneath my shoes with each step. The warmth of the sun bled through my shirt. I lowered my chin to my chest. I knocked on the door three times. No response. I peered through a glass panel on the door; a man approached with a baby in his arms.

  I took a step back, then crossed my arms. The man opened the door and smiled. I looked at him with sunken eyes.

  “Hello, what can I do for you?”

  “Put the baby back inside. I need to talk to you,” I said.

  His eyes widened, he took a step back. He held his baby tighter. My stomach turned out of disgust. I turned my head away slightly.

  “Yeah, yeah sure, just don’t do anything to them…please.”

  I sighed. He seemed friendly before I spoke, now he seemed startled. Every person I talked to had that look.

  “I won’t, just do what I asked,” I said.

  He left the door open before he brought his child back inside.

  “What are you doing?” a woman’s voice said from inside the house.

  “I…I have to deal with this, just don’t worry. I love you and I’ll be fine,” the man said.

  I heard nothing else until the man appeared back at the door. His lean frame reminded me of my own. He motioned for me to back up as he shut the door behind him. I looked intently into his eyes.

  “I’m here to kill you, Ethan,” I said, my voice flat.

  He put an arm around my shoulder, like we were old friends. I lifted my arm, but hesitated when I looked at his warm smile.

  “Let’s go for a walk.”

  I looked back to see a woman watching us through the window; a baby in her arms. Ethan pointed to a park down the street.

  “Let’s go talk over there.”

  I nodded. His arm left my shoulder once the house left our view.

  “Don’t want the wife worrying, you know.”

  My gaze steadied, I rubbed my neck until it hurt.

  “She should be worried, you’ve got a bounty on your head.”

  Ethan laughed.

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  “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

  He put his hands in his pockets as we walked. We approached a gate to the park, he held it open for me. I’d never been to a park.

  Dogs ran around us, kids played in the grass. It was as if I was placed in another world, every aspect felt foreign to me. We walked over to a park bench. Ethan sat down first; I slowly sat down after him. He sat relaxed, as if nothing in the world mattered, looking at all of the happy families.

  “What’s your name?” Ethan asked.

  I put my face in my hands.

  “It doesn’t matter,” my voice was muffled by my hands.

  “Your name matters out here, in the real world.”

  I took my face out of my hands.

  “Cale.”

  “Your first.”

  I scratched my head.

  “No one’s asked me that in years. It’s Rowan.”

  “So, Rowan,” Ethan tilted his head and looked at me. “What do you want out of life?”

  One of the kids chased after his dog while his parents smiled. A warm feeling entered my chest.

  “I don’t know, my life doesn’t have any meaning,” I sank into the bench. “I hate my life and it’s not like I can just walk away from it.”

  “I did.”

  I scoffed.

  “How? You're still being hunted, day by day. Is your life really one worth living?”

  “Absolutely, I don’t regret a single thing,” Ethan said. “You can do it just like I did.”

  I sat up. I felt butterflies in my stomach, I wondered if this is what hope felt like.

  “So, let me ask you again, Rowan, what do you want out of life?”

  I looked at the families walking around the park. It made me feel happy, thinking about having my own.

  “I want what you have.”

  “A family?”

  My heart raced.

  “Yes, I want a wife. I want a family to love.”

  Ethan wrapped his arm around my shoulder. He pointed his finger at my heart.

  “Go do it, Rowan, go live the life you want to live,” Ethan said. “But be warned, people will come for you, and you’ll have to protect your family one way or another. This life isn’t easy.”

  “You’re the first person I’ve ever met who doesn’t just see me as a killer.”

  I clenched my fists and stood up from the park bench.

  “Thank you, Ethan. I’ll give it a try.”

  He waved as I walked away and out of the gate. Words came out of his mouth, but I couldn’t hear them over the sounds of children’s laughter.

  I strolled out of the park and breathed in the fresh air. Anything I want to do, I can. I wanted to live in Denver. Maybe I’ll meet my wife there.

  I ran to the bus station nearby. I soared through the streets as the breeze weaved through my hair. I paced around the station looking for the bus going to Denver. I finally found it, bought a ticket, then sat down.

  The world shined brighter than it ever had before. After the bus left the station I was overwhelmed by emotion. I cried for the first time in years.