***

  Woke up to find silver white hair threaded with my dark black. Sophia was nuzzled into me - girl was a limpet for sure.

  With the light of the morning sun I can see her sleeping face and holy shit. She was an actual angel. Cute button nose, full red lips, long lashes… the way she held me tight. Sister Sophia was the full package.

  No, Tangerine stop. Listen to me.

  [Yeah listen to yourself.]

  ‘Butt out you.’

  Tangerine, this is a nun. A holy lady of the Lord of light or whatever. She's probably not even into girls. Most girls aren't. And even if she was, she couldn't act on it anyway. Because she's a nun. She’s probably taken vows!

  Do not. I repeat. DO NOT get a crush on the hot nun - with the angel's face and all the curves - that you are apparently forced to sleep with…

  ‘...I’m so fucked aren't I.’

  [Having been a lesbian a number of times, we would like to inform you that having an unrequited crush is basically a queer rite of passage.]

  ‘I had a crush on Erica Swells.’

  [No, that was boredom and infatuation.]

  ‘How am I going to handle this?’

  [Painfully, we imagine. Possibly with a great deal of yearning.]

  ‘Not helping buddies!’

  [We are the ones stuck in your head while you go through all of this teenage angst. Have you considered how disturbing this will be for us?]

  ‘Yeah being stuck in my mind does kinda suck.’

  [We are glad that you are understanding.]

  ‘Hey!’

  Sister Sophia nuzzled in tighter. A little murmur slips her lips. Fuck she's so cute and hot. I'm going to die.

  I don't want to wake her. It seemed like the girl had nearly two decades of missing sleep to catch up on.

  But my arm was going dead, shooting the pains of pins and needles up to my brain stem. Plus I need to pee. Maybe I can just bite my arm off?

  Slowly and gently I slip my arm out from underneath her. Success! But as I lift the covers to make my escape, she grabs hold of my sleeping smock with both hands and buries her face in my chest.

  She lets out a little whimper.

  That shit is unfair. How am I meant to leave now? I guess I'm not bursting. I could hold it for a bit.

  I stroke her hair and quietly whisper, “it's okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

  This settles her.

  I close my eyes and drift off back to sleep.

  ***

  I woke up for the second time. I can't see her, because I'm facing the wall, but I can feel Lillian shit eating from behind me.

  “Tans, Tans, Tans. What are we ever going to do with you?” I can feel the smugness dripping from her tone. I’m never gonna live this shit down.

  “Lills, it's not…”

  “...What it looks like?” Lillian cut me off. “Things that aren't what they seem to be, sure do happen to you a lot.”

  “You have no idea. What time is it?”

  “Breakfast time. Maria sent me to get you, the both of you slept in.”

  Sister Sophia finally woke up with all our chatter. She didn't kick me out of bed like last time, but she did rapidly untangle herself. Freeing me from her clutches. She blushed a little. Probably didn't expect to wake up so close. I hope I didn't make her feel uncomfortable.

  “Thank you...” Sophia said, in a mousy morning voice. “...Tangerine, for your help last night.” She fidgeted with the covers. “...I slept well.”

  “Glad I could help!” I said, jumping out of bed now that I’m free. There is no reason to make her more uncomfortable. Duty is done. No need to make it weird.

  She had a complicated look on her face when I left. Oh shit, does she know that I’m gay? Does she think I'm weird now? Did I make this awkward? Nah a straight girl wouldn't hang around in bed right? Or maybe they would because they have nothing to worry about? Fuck, I need an excuse!

  “I really need to pee.” Nailed it.

  ***

  I dip from the cabin of awkwardness and find the carriage toilet. Which is basically just a seat over a hole in the floor. I do my business and then get myself ready for the day. Once done I join the others around the table.

  Train breakfast was dope as hell, full of pastries and juices. Riding first class certainly has its selling points.

  “So,” asked Maria. “How was the night?”

  “There were four spirits. Every time we would fall asleep another would come.” I look to Sophia for a little back up.

  “Tangerine helped deal with each spirit. But she was getting tired. Cycling that much mana was taking a toll on her.” She fidgets again, this time with a table cloth. Does she fidget when she’s nervous? Cute.

  No, stop. No crushing on the nun, Tangerine.

  Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.

  “As a last attempt we decided to try what worked the night before.” Sophia continued. “Tangerine slept in my bed. I do not understand why, but contact between us seems to negate the curse.” She smiled at me. “Being able to sleep even just a little is a blessing.”

  Fuck, that smile. I look away. “Don't worry about it. Just glad I could help or whatever.”

  Lillian is having full on fits of belly laughs. “Wait, wait, wait. Are you telling me, that Tangerine *has* to sleep with you.” She managed to choke out, between laughter.

  “Lils, please, I’m just trying to help.” I said.

  “Uhuh, help yourself into her bed!”

  “It's not like that!” I stammer. I give her eyes, telling her to shut up. Lillian laughs, but she got the message. She had a point, the universe must be trying to fuck me. Why would this be the solution?

  I guess it is Truday. I mean as Truday’s go, I will take having to sleep with nuns over assassination attempts.

  Maria was pondering on the information. “It is curious that contact with Tangerine would help in such a way.” She took a sip of her tea. “But there are many mysteries about our Tangerine Stone. Where does she come from, why are the Infinite Archives interested in her, what observed her from between the realms.”

  “Why does she scare ghosts?” Chimed in Lillian.

  “I mean they are ghosts right?” I said dismissively. “They barely exist. Those bargain bin horrors should be scared of me.”

  Everyone around the table gave me a funny look at that. You know I do have strangely strong opinions about ghosts… It's not like I ever met one back on earth. They didn't exist there.

  Weird.

  After breakfast, Sophia went to freshen up and Maria went off to do Maria things.

  Lillian pulled me aside. “Tans, are you really going to hide the fact you are a sapphist from the nun?”

  “I'm not really meant to be telling anybody. Also she's a nun, what does it matter anyway? Not like anything can happen. Plus it will probably just make her uncomfortable. Like she's basically forced to sleep with me. I don't want her to worry that I’m gonna to try something on as well.”

  “Are you?”

  “No! Of course not!”

  “Well that's good. But Tans, you're not thinking this through. I mean yeah, she's probably not going to take it all that well, she is a nun of the Lord of light. They have strong views on, well, everything. But imagine if she finds out a couple months from now. That a sapphist was using her curse to sneak into her bed.”

  “It’s not like that!”

  “As unbelievable as this situation is, I know that Tans. Matilda told me that you were frozen stiff when she spent the night. At this point I'm pretty sure you couldn't get laid in a brothel. But Sophia isn't going to understand that. She will just know that you kept this from her and then will come to all sorts of conclusions about why.”

  Fuck, she's right. “Fuck, you’re right.”

  “It's rare, but it happens every so often. You have to tell her.”

  “I will.”

  “Before you share a bed again.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  ***

  We arrived back at the City of Doors by mid afternoon.

  The place is still madness. But I grew up in London, I’m used to the squeeze. Lillian, of course, took everything in her stride and walked like she owned the place.

  Sister Sophia on the other hand was instantly overwhelmed. The girl had spent her entire life in a convent out on the arse end of the most backwards realm that exists. The train station alone is probably the most amount of people she has ever seen.

  I took her arm in mine, and she clung to it. It looks kinda funny. She must be around five foot ten, holding on desperately to my five foot two arse. Like if she lets go the world might eat her. Cute.

  Girl is making it impossible for me not to crush.

  Lillian said bye to us all at the station where her aunt and uncle had come to pick her up.

  Maria, Sophia and I caught a gondola barge to return home. Maria’s home. I guess my home now.

  I think sister Sophia stared at her own feet the whole way back. But she did handle the flying Barge like a champ. Probably her first time in the air.

  ***

  We get home to a mass of squeals and hugs. I'm even included in the hugs. It still hurts a little how well I fit in here.

  Emily adored her new teapot. Her teddy bear tea parties had now become Russian roulette.

  We all eat dinner around the main table in the dining room. A full roast was cooked. Some sort of not pig for the meat. Pretty yummy if I had to say.

  I put off returning to my room as long as I could. But night drew in and I ran out of excuses.

  Sophia had got ready before me. After I finished getting changed into my sleepwear, I found her sitting on the edge of my bed.

  God, I have to come out to a nun. One that has to sleep with me after. I would rather the ground swallow me whole.

  “Sophia.” I start. “Look, before we go to bed, there is something I should probably tell you.” I'm shuffling around, basically looking anywhere but at her.

  She stood up to meet me. Rests her hand on my arm. “It's okay, no matter what it is, I will do my best to help you.” She looked at me with the most earnest eyes. Fuck, this girl is going to be the death of me.

  “I err, I… I like girls.” I said.

  She just looked confused at this. “Yes, I like girls as well?”

  Wait… she does?!

  Wait, oh. Oh no, she didn't understand me. She's a nun, am I going to have to explain the birds and the bees to her?

  “No, Sophia. Not like that, I am attracted to girls. I’m not interested in men, I don't want to marry them or do any… other stuff with them. I want to do that with women instead.”

  Now I see that complicated look on her face. She's quiet for a while. “It is okay.” She finally said. “As you are saving me, I will save you. Bring you back into the light of our Lord.”

  Wait, is she going to try and conversion therapy me?

  “No Sophia, that’s not how it works. I was just born like this. It's just part of who I am and I am happy this way. But I just didn't want you feeling like I was taking advantage of you.”

  “Why would I feel like you are taking advantage of me?”

  Oh man, I don't think she put two and two together here. That I’m attracted to girls and therefore I could be attracted to her.

  Which I’m not!

  At all!

  [Cope.]

  ‘Shut up.’

  “I just didn't want you to think I was keeping secrets from you.” Fuck it, she can work that one out by herself. I'm not going to explain that it could be possible for me to have a crush on her. With her button nose and perfect angel face.

  I don't have a crush on her anyway. I don't fuck with the straight girls.

  Well other than Erica Swells. But that's different! Probably.

  “Thank you for telling me the truth Tangerine.” She said while pulling me to my bed. I follow.

  When under the covers I just lay there. Scared to move. She pulled in close to me.

  White and black, our hair mixed on the pillow.

  “We have to stay close, to stop the spirits.” She said, “Thank you for helping me Tangerine. You make me feel safe.”

  My heart missed a beat.

  “Tell me if I make you uncomfortable okay?” She said sleepily.

  I can't say anything at all. My voice has stopped working. I can barely breathe.

  ‘Gestalt, I think I'm in trouble.’

  [Rite of passage, Tangerine.]

  ***