‘Ah, damn it…’

  My head throbbed and my thoughts felt scrambled.

  I sat on my bed and looked around my room.

  It was a mess, with some of my things scattered across the floor.

  Upon seeing the mess, I simply turned my gaze away.

  ‘Sleep…’

  My body felt sluggish, and so did my thoughts. Yet, I still remembered my responsibility.

  ‘Crap…I have to go to school…’

  **

  I sat in English class, lazily reading the text we were assigned.

  Click!

  Click!

  Click!

  I clicked my button on my ballpoint pen every once in a while, allowing the tip to appear and disappear.

  Eventually I was instructed to stop and so I did.

  ‘Oh, I messed up again. Like always.’

  My body felt as if it was being weighed down by a thousand pounds. It was begging me to fall asleep.

  But if I did, I would risk messing up my grades, and I wasn’t going to do that.

  ‘Just gotta make it to the next period.’

  And so I continued on with my class period, using all of my weak energy to complete the assignment.

  Thankfully, the class didn’t last forever, and I eventually moved on to my second-period class, Mathematics.

  That was the period that could actually keep me awake, after all, that’s where all my friends were.

  “Our group has 5 problems so one of us will have to do two,” I said as I held a pencil in my hand.

  At the time, we were working in groups to complete algebraic problems together.

  ‘If Aurora was here, everything would be much simpler.’

  I wanted to grimace when I had that thought but I stopped myself.

  “So who’ll it be?” Nishimoya asked.

  “I’ll do it. But it might be wrong,” Soriel answered.

  Once we came to that agreement we began to work for the next few minutes.

  During that time, I asked a few questions.

  “Tristan,” I called out.

  “What?” He replied

  “What’s 4x8?” I asked.

  “32,” he answered.

  “Tristan,” I called out.

  “What?” He replied.

  “What’s 7x1?” I asked.

  “7,” he answered.

  “Tristan,” I called out.

  “What?” He replied.

  “What’s 9+10” I asked.

  “Shut the hell up,” Tristan said.

  Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

  I laughed and went back to work. Silently, I could hear Soriel and Nishimoya laughing as well.

  After we all finished, we began to share our answers.

  In the process, I noticed something odd with Soriel’s answer.

  “How the hell did you get 92?” I asked with confusion evident in my voice.

  “I told you I’d get it wrong,” Soriel said with a helpless shrug.

  “Soriel, you just had to multiply 3 x 6,” I said with a deadpan expression.

  “Elliot, you multiplied 4 times 2 instead of squaring it. I don’t think you have any room to talk,” Nishimoya mentioned.

  “Silence mortal. My answers are beyond your understanding,” I replied quickly.

  “What?” Nishimoya said.

  Soriel stared at me for a moment and began to laugh.

  Seeing her laugh, I began to laugh as well.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Tristan shake his head in disapproval.

  **

  “Yo Tristan,” I said as I took a sip of water.

  It was lunchtime, and Tristan, Nishimoya, and I sat at our table in the cafeteria.

  “Yeah?” Tristan replied, reading a book with a dragon on the cover.

  ‘Wait, what do I say?’

  I was about to ask Tristan a serious question, one about Aurora.

  I had a few things I wanted to ask.

  Like why wasn’t I good enough. Or maybe if she ever liked me.

  Or maybe what she is doing now.

  Then I remembered two things.

  One, it was unlikely that Tristan knew the answers to my questions. No matter how much I wanted the answers, it was stupid to ask.

  Two, even if he did, it was out of character to ask such questions.

  After all, I didn’t deserve the answers. So why would I even ask such questions?

  I was nothing. Unworthy of anything or anyone.

  I knew all I needed to know.

  So instead, I asked a different question.

  “Do you want to blow up England together?” I asked with a smile.

  Tristan looked at me with a deadpan expression.

  “No,” he answered.

  I frowned.

  “Jerk,” I blurted out before pulling out my lunch from my bag.

  Nishimoya looked at me with a confused expression, but said nothing.

  I began to eat and soon later, Soriel came and we all hung out.

  **

  ‘Cold…’

  I exited the school building with my winter jacket on. For whatever reason, the temperature had dropped even further.

  As I walked I noticed Tristan had appeared next to me.

  “You wanna walk?” Tristan asked calmly.

  “Yeah,” I responded.

  Together, we walked away from the school on our usual route. We walked past the bus stop and didn’t stop for a while.

  Around us was an abnormal amount of trash. At least that was what I thought.

  ‘I never paid attention to it before, but New York has a pretty big littering problem, doesn’t it?’

  There was no sun for me to gaze at, no interesting or pretty sight to behold, instead the world seemed a bit gloomy.

  So the little things, the less appealing things that I never noticed seemed to stand out.

  Yet, even in such a moment, the world was still beautiful. Far too beautiful for a person like me.

  “You wanna get ice cream?” Tristan suggested, referring to an ice cream store nearby.

  Looking at the store, I thought for a moment.

  ‘I shouldn’t waste money, plus it’s not like I’ve done anything worth ice cream anyway.’

  Perhaps Tristan could hear my thoughts because he quickly added something.

  “I’ll pay,” he said.

  “Sure, let’s go,” I responded.

  Tristan stared at me for a moment, probably because of how quickly I made a decision, before shaking his head and walking to the store.

  Soon, we entered inside and he bought ice cream for both of us.

  We both got cookies and cream in cones.

  Once we got our ice cream we headed back outside and continued walking.

  “This is pretty good,” I said, as I shoved a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth.

  “Yeah, it is,” Tristan said.

  Splash.

  Splash.

  Splash.

  Droplets of rain began to fall down and hit the ground with a splash. At first, there were only a few, but the number quickly rose.

  ‘Ah, crap. It's raining.’

  I took out my umbrella from my bag and opened it up while Tristan pulled the hood of his jacket over his head.

  ‘He needs to start bringing an umbrella.’

  I held my umbrella in my left hand, letting it cover me as I ate my ice cream.

  I tried to slightly cover Tristan with it as well. Knowing him, I figured trying to fully cover him would just result in him pushing it back towards me.

  Just then, I let a smile come on my face.

  “We must look pretty stupid right now. I mean, we’re two guys eating ice cream while getting rained on,” I said with a chuckle.

  Tristan let out a quiet chuckle as well.

  “You’re probably right,” he replied.

  A small smile lingered on his face, a rare smile. A smile that held more than indifference.

  I appreciated such a look.

  “Elliot,” Tristan suddenly called out, his smile fading.

  “Yeah?” I responded.

  “I talked with Aurora…” He began to say.

  My heartbeat sped up slightly at the mention of Aurora.

  ‘Aurora? Why is speaking about her now?’

  I began to listen intently as Tristan continued to speak.

  “She said that…you didn’t do anything wrong. She didn’t cheat on you because of anything that you did. I just thought you’d want to know,” Tristan explained.

  I listened to Tristan’s words and didn’t respond for a few moments.

  ‘Even if she didn’t cheat on me for something I did, I still wasn’t enough. I wasn’t good enough. I’ll never be good enough, for her or for anyone else.’

  That thought felt like a blade pierced through my heart. Yet, I accepted it as the truth.

  ‘Still, hearing that is a relief. I know I didn't know that before, and nothing really changes, but I still feel some sort of comfort, I guess.’

  “Thanks,” I replied.

  “No problem,” Tristan said.

  We continued to walk in silence, and as we walked, I had a lot of thinking to do.

  I thought back to the previous days of the week, and to all my friends.

  ‘Austin, Nishimoya, Soriel, Tristan, they all have really helped in their own ways. I don’t deserve it but they’re all still good to me.’

  I felt bitter, but grateful. And through that gratefulness, the corners of my lips were able to curve into a smile.

  ‘Thank you guys. I’ve made some really great friends.’