I jolted awake.

  “My Lord!”

  The voice echoed so clearly in my head that I sat upright, heart pounding.

  “…Sparky?”

  Silence.

  Only the faint hum of human appliances answered me.

  I exhaled slowly and rubbed my face. “It was just a dream.”

  Grando, already awake and sitting perfectly straight despite being handcuffed to a sofa leg, turned her head slightly. “Are you unwell, My Lord?”

  “I dreamed Sparky was calling me,” I said. “I hope the Demon Realm is still intact...”

  Charmie, sprawled dramatically on the floor with her wrists chained to a table leg, waved zily. “Don’t worry~ Sparky is strong. And loud. If anything exploded, we’d hear it spiritually.”

  That… was not comforting.

  Still, I nodded. “You’re right. I trust her.”

  Trusting someone while being stuck in a human apartment, cuffed like a criminal, with no magic, no system control, and no potatoes was… growth. Probably.

  The door to Mira’s room creaked open.

  She stepped out, already dressed, hair messy, dark circles under her eyes, looking like she had fought a war against insomnia and lost.

  “Get prepared,” she said ftly.

  Charmie beamed. “We’re always ready!”

  Grando straightened her back even more, which I didn’t know was possible while chained. “Awaiting orders.”

  Mira took one step closer.

  Then she stopped.

  She sniffed the air.

  Her face slowly twisted in horror.

  “Oh my god,” she said.

  “What now?” I asked carefully.

  “You didn’t even shower,” she said, pinching her nose. “For days?!”

  “Whose fault do you think that is?” I replied defensively. “You handcuffed us to furniture!”

  “And,” Charmie added cheerfully, “you're lucky we don’t even need toilets, so technically we’re very hygienic creatures.”

  Mira froze.

  Grando, ever helpful, nodded. “Demons ck human biological waste systems. Everything we consume is converted directly into our energy.”

  Mira stared at us like she had just learned something she never wanted to know.

  “…So,” she said slowly, “where does the rice and potatoes go?”

  “Burned,” I answered proudly. “Efficiently.”

  She squinted. “That's why the Demon Realm doesn't have toilets…”

  Mira’s eye twitched.

  Then Grando turned to Mira with genuine curiosity.

  “Miss Mira,” she asked politely, “where do you relieve bodily waste when you're in the Demon Realm?”

  Mira’s face turned red instantly. “I—! That’s—! Don’t ask me that!”

  She spun around, mortified. “Enough! Stop talking! Shower! Now!” She gnced at the clock. “You only have fifteen minutes.”

  I looked down at my wrists.

  Still cuffed.

  To Charmie.

  Who was cuffed to Grando.

  “You are aware we’re chained together, yes?” I asked.

  Mira was already walking away. “I don’t care.”

  “Wait!” I said quickly. “At least uncuff us—!”

  “If you want to go outside ter,” she snapped, “be ready!”

  She pushed us to the bathroom, then the bathroom door smmed.

  I stared at the wall.

  “Are we really bathing together?” I said quietly.

  Charmie cpped. “Group bonding!”

  Grando stared at the tiled floor, her expression so stiff it looked like she was reconsidering every life choice that had led her here—starting from swearing loyalty to me.

  “Wait,” I said suddenly, panic dawning on me far too te. “We can’t even take off our clothes while cuffed like this.”

  There was a short pause.

  Then the sound of fabric hitting the floor.

  I slowly turned my head.

  Charmie was already naked.

  “Charmie?” I croaked.

  “Oh, this?” she said cheerfully. “I figured it out. You just twist like this...”

  Before I could stop her, she had already grabbed Grando’s sleeve.

  “WAIT! CHARMIE!” Grando yelped, dignity evaporating at an arming rate.

  “I’M YOUR SUPERIOR NOW.” she tried to shout, but it came out more like a plea.

  I gulped.

  The human bathroom was… small. Painfully small. One narrow tub. One showerhead. No space to breathe, let alone three demons chained together.

  Steam started to fill the room almost immediately.

  “I’ve never bathed with other people before,” I muttered. “This is deeply uncomfortable.”

  “I hate this realm,” Grando hissed, desperately trying to cover herself with one arm while still being physically tethered to us.

  Charmie leaned in far too close, eyes sparkling. “Rex~ We’re all girls, remember?”

  “That does NOT make this better!”

  [Announcement: The Demon Lord is experiencing extreme psychological damage.]

  “Don’t you dare,” I muttered.

  Grando faced the wall, posture stiff, arms crossed as much as the cuffs allowed. “My Lord. I will complete cleansing in under four minutes. Please do not look at me.”

  “Too te!” Charmie giggled. “Grando, you’re way more muscur than I thought~”

  “Do NOT comment on that!”

  Water sprayed suddenly, soaking all of us at once.

  I yelped. “Cold! Why is it cold?!”

  “That’s the default!” Charmie ughed.

  We scrambled clumsily, bumping elbows, slipping, shouting.

  “Charmie, stop spshing!” I shouted.

  “I can’t, my hands are tied!”

  “My Lord, your elbow is in my ribs!”

  “Then move!”

  “I cannot, you are standing on my foot!”

  Outside the bathroom...

  “Tone it down!” Mira shouted. “The ndlord will hear!”

  “I’M TRYING TO SURVIVE!” I yelled back.

  Somewhere deep in the metaphysical void, a familiar sound echoed.

  [Announcement: Demon Lord has entered a high-risk environment: Human Bathroom.]

  “Stop this!” I snapped at the ceiling.

  Soap slipped.

  Someone screamed.

  I wasn’t sure who.

  Charmie ughed like she was having the time of her life. “My Lord! Your hair is really soft!”

  “WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING MY HAIR?!”

  “Because Grando is threatening to drown me!”

  “I AM NOT!” Grando yelp.

  The shower curtain was accidentally yanked.

  The door slid open.

  Charmie froze mid-giggle, gnced back at the wide-open door, then said innocently, “Oops… We forgot to lock the door properly…”

  Mira stood there.

  For exactly half a second.

  “GYAAAAAH!” She turned around instantly, dropped to her knees, face burning red.

  “I—! I thought you were done!”

  Charmie struck a dramatic pose. “Behold~ Divine Demon Bodies!”

  I punched her and she colpsed instantly.

  Silence.

  Steam filled the room.

  I sighed deeply and covered Charmie with a towel. “I apologize for her existence.”

  Grando, barely holding on to dignity, wrapped herself as well and bowed. “We are profoundly sorry.”

  Mira didn’t turn around. “Just... finish up!”

  We did.

  Quietly.

  Carefully.

  Five minutes ter, dripping, exhausted, wrapped in towels and shame, we stood silently.

  The bath was done.

  And somehow… We survived human shower.

  [Announcement: Demon Lord has completed a Human Cleansing Ritual without casualties.]

  “That was unnecessary,” I muttered. But I didn’t deny it. This world was terrifying.