Date: 4-5-165

  I’ve not much to report since my strange encounter with Lady Kailenne three days ago. A part of me is grateful that nothing has come of it. On the other hand, I’m still at a complete loss as to what to make of her actions.

  This morning, I spoke with Nadine while preparing for an appointment with another of the city’s Pillars. These days, it is a rare occurrence for us to be alone. We’d not even had an opportunity to discuss what we should do if Lady Kailenne attempted another trick.

  (It isn’t quite right to say we’ve had no opportunity, though, is it? It is perhaps more truthful to say that Nadine has avoided discussing anything beyond the most superficial topics with me. Perhaps I have done the same with her.)

  “It may not be as bad as we thought,” she said when I finally broached the subject. “We haven’t been thrown out on our ears or tossed into the dungeon. Maybe this is just a game to her.”

  “Do you think that could be true?”

  With a sigh, she shook her head. “It would be too easy, wouldn’t it? No, she’s probably cooking up some plot that she’ll spring on us when we least expect it.” She stared into her medical bag. “I thought my troubles would go away when I got this posting, but I’ve just traded them in for new troubles.”

  She didn’t say it aloud, but we both knew that I was the complicating factor in Nadine’s life. The unspoken words hung between us for several long moments.

  “Look, it’s clear she’s eager to solve the mystery of who you really are. All of us are curious about it,” Nadine said, raising her head. “And you need her help with your, um—your salvage operation. Would it really be so terrible if you told her?”

  “You suggest I make a trade with Lady Kailenne,” I said. “My knowledge exchanged for her help.”

  “It’s just a thought.”

  How important is it, really, that I keep this secret? When I first arrived here, I was stunned at what I interpreted to be the great technological advancement of the Panzean people. I feared that, if they knew of our world, they might turn great war machines against us.

  I’ve learned so much since then, and I’ve not taken the time to reevaluate my position. While the capabilities of the Panzeans are every bit as terrible as I’d feared, I now know that it is all worked through magic. Magic is something that we can counter—perhaps the Guntao people are uniquely positioned to counter it, in fact. And Governor Valia hardly seems the sort to wage an inter-realm war, though I doubt he is actually in charge of any decision making.

  But there’s still so much about which I remain ignorant. I have only scratched the surface of what Panzean magic is capable of, but what I have seen is awe-inspiring. Secrecy remains the only safe option. Once I’ve shared my truth, it cannot be undone, after all.

  “What about other House Valia people?” I asked. “Lady Kailenne’s grandson, her great-granddaughter.”

  Nadine shook her head. “They’re off on some adventure on the mainland, or so I’ve heard. We’ll be lucky if we see either of them before the end of the year.”

  The Panzean years are short, remember, so that is less than fifty days away. Still, an intolerable amount of time while you are trapped at the bottom of the sea.

  We were soon off to our appointment, and it was not a topic of conversation that we revisited.

  ***

  Date: 6-5-165

  This will be another short entry, I’m afraid. Little has changed since I last wrote, and at his treatment yesterday, Governor Valia pretended as though the incident of a few days ago had never happened.

  Whether this is guile or simply his own general lack of awareness, I could not say with any certainty. I believe you can infer my opinion.

  Nadine was pulled away by some urgent paperwork this afternoon, leaving Olrick and me alone in the suite’s common area. It’s unusual for Olrick to be home during the day. Though it’s been some time since his ship last sailed, his duties as a captain kept him busy even while they were at port. This hadn’t changed since moving into the palace, though I understood he had a new office on the grounds, away from our quarters.

  “How’s work?” he asked, interrupting my reading.

  (I would like to mention that I use a different spell for reading, and my standard language spell was not engaged—this simple question, at least, I could understand without magical aid!)

  I looked up at him, smoothing away any sign of irritation from my face. I think I was in the middle of an interesting section on the treatment of herniated disks, but, as always, Olrick meant well.

  “It is not as much challenge as I want,” I said. “We provide very good care, but our patients do not need the care.”

  He shook his head slowly, smiling.

  Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

  Settling into the couch across from me, Olrick said, “You’re a good one, Why. Some folks are happy to get their money and run, but you want to make a difference.”

  I watched him. Was that it? Had he interrupted me just to say that? There was a nervous something in his eyes—not quite desperation, but something desperation-adjacent that I couldn’t quite place.

  “No luck getting your expedition together, huh?” he asked at last.

  “Yes,” I said. “I mean, yes, there is no luck.” (Sometimes Panzeans say “no” when they mean “yes.”)

  “I figured as much.” He squinted his eyes, likely attempting to come up with some way that he could help. Not that he could, of course. “You talk it over with Nade? Yeah? I figure she suggested you find something they want and trade ‘em for it. You scratch their backs, they’ll scratch yours.”

  He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, his round eyes like green pools. “Maybe that’d work, but if I were you, I’d try letting them know just how important this is. Make it clear like you made it clear to me, back when I fished you out of the sea in the first place.”

  “You helped me because you are also a good one,” I told him. “I think perhaps most people would not help me just for that.”

  “Maybe,” he said with a small shrug. “But the Valias are the great-great-however-many-greats grandkids of a goddess. I have to believe they’re good ones, too.”

  I wanted to tell Olrick that he was also the descendant of what he called the “gods,” but to what end? He meant well—Olrick always means well—and it would be unkind to meet his beliefs with skepticism. Besides, while I would have been technically correct, it was clear that House Valia was much closer to their ancestors in terms of raw magical power.

  I wonder if his suggestion could possibly work. Lady Kailenne seems much too conniving to be moved by an appeal to her better nature, and I doubt her son even has a better nature. On the other hand, I’m not willing to follow Nadine’s advice and offer up my secrets in exchange for their help.

  You wouldn’t want me to do that, even if it was the only way to save you…right?

  ***

  Date: 10-5-165

  Today was my day off. I was somewhat nervous about my lesson with Jacque, as we had left things on a rather sour note last time. On the way into town, Nadine explained that she and Jacque had worked out new arrangements so that I could continue to see him on a weekly basis, though she was vague about the precise nature of said arrangements.

  Jacque, on the other hand, was all too happy to delve into the unhappy details.

  It came down to money. Jacque demanded more of it, and Nadine agreed. She could afford it now.

  We met at his apartment after church, as before, though he offered me no refreshment this time, nor did he share any pleasantries beyond a cursory “Good morning.” His limp did seem somewhat improved, at least. My observation to that effect earned a sneer.

  After that, I made no attempt to engage in small talk. He jumped straight into grammar review, and for a while, he affected an impersonal, almost clinical attitude. Perhaps he wished to show me that whatever friendship we’d shared was dead, or perhaps he felt so wounded by my refusal to heal his leg that he was trying to place some emotional distance between us.

  But in the end, an affectation is all it was. I would stumble over the pronunciation of a new term or offer the wrong word, and he’d get that derisive glint in his eye and exclaim his correction, preening at how he’d shown himself to be the pinnacle of intellect.

  It was almost endearing. He reminded me of a small child who had yet to master their emotions. It’s such a funny thing to see in a man who’s a few years older than me.

  Perhaps I should have found it irritating. Perhaps my reaction to his buffoonery was a sign that I was starved for friendship in this strange land. Whatever the case, as we worked, his haughty interjections grew more frequent. Eventually, we strayed from the curriculum and arrived at the topic of House Valia.

  “But it is the mystery itself that is most alluring, no?” he asked after I shared the advice I’d received from Nadine and Olrick. “You have drawn we three into your orbit—and maybe others, I cannot say—but how? Your charming personality?”

  As I considered this, he rudely pressed on.

  “No, absolutely not. You have all of the charisma of a doorknob. No offense, of course.” I opened my mouth to reply, but he would not be stopped. “We know basically nothing about you, and that is so remarkable that we cannot help but want to find out more. How do you do the things you do? Why can you not keep your hands still for even a second? And why does your face look so…?”

  I narrowed my eyes at him, and he abruptly dropped that line of reasoning.

  “What I mean is, you do not need to give the answers away, as Nadine suggests. You must simply dangle the possibility of answers before them, and they will be tripping over themselves to help you.”

  There could be something to that, I had to agree. Jacque had so very few redeeming qualities, and it was refreshing when he managed to say something insightful.

  ***

  Date: 1-6-165

  I have another brief report for you today.

  I could not sleep last night, as my mind was occupied by turning over the advice I’d received over the past week. In an ideal situation, I’d make my petition to one of the younger House Valia scions, but that was unlikely to happen anytime soon. Governor Valia had already forbidden me from bringing up the subject again, and even if he hadn’t, I couldn’t see him paying close enough attention to understand any of my arguments.

  That left Lady Kailenne Valia.

  Arranging an audience was surprisingly simple. A servant conducted me to the chamberlain, and she set an appointment for this very afternoon. It almost seemed as though she’d been expecting me.

  Perhaps she had been.

  As I was conducted to the audience chamber, I mentally organized my arguments. Lady Kailenne had shown interest in the so-called mystery that surrounded me, so that would be my starting point. If that failed, I could attempt Olrick’s appeal to kindness, though I was skeptical that such an appeal would move one such as her. And if that, too, failed, then perhaps it was time to consider Nadine’s advice…

  The chamber was a modest sitting room, with couches arranged around a fire pit like they had been at the Seaborne Estate. Lady Kailenne was already waiting for me when I arrived, as still as a statue behind the dancing flames.

  “My Lady Kailenne, I—”

  “It’s good to see you, Why,” she said, cutting me off. She didn’t sound like she was happy to see me. “Did you need something?”

  Offering a low bow, I said, “Forgive my impertinence, but I wish to—”

  “You want me to sail out to the damned edge of the sea and dredge up your strange little boat.” Her face was a mask, giving no indication of approval or disapproval. “You don’t think I’m already busy enough cleaning up my clever son’s messes, making sure his kid doesn’t piss off our allies, and all the other Great House shit?”

  Why did she want to meet with me if this was all she had to say? I felt sick. Already, my plans were unraveling, and I grasped for the first thought that came to me. “My husband—”

  “The answer, by the way, is yes.” She rose abruptly and made her way to the door, long strides taking her around me. “Pack your bags. We’re going fishing for your hubby.”

  This really was just a game to her, wasn’t it?