The 3 - 6 - 9 Rule of dating indicates that, in order to determine a couples compatibility they should date at least 18 Months before making any further decisions. Three months in the Honeymoon Phase when the rose colored glasses make all the red flags seem like just flags, the six month Reality Phase during which the couple will be able to see just how well they fit together in day to day life and last but not least the last phase, lasting nine months, the Decision Phase, after which the couple will be able to determine how well they do or do not fit together in the long term. I don't remember when I heard of the rule and with the negative amount of dating experience I had outside of games I had yet to test it. So it came as quite the surprise when I was pinned to a wall by a woman calling me “Dear husband.”
“Did you not catch what I was saying, dear husband?”, she asked, her intimidating gaze burning directly into my retinas. Behind her I could see the moon, shining through the wall high window, covering the entire room in a silvery sheen.
“Ill be completely honest, no I did not.”, I responded, because it was the truth and lying to a lady that was strong enough to pin me to a wall did not seem like a wise choice.
My last memory, just minutes ago, was of me enjoying a canned beverage of the caffeinated variety. It had not been the first that day and that was at 2 am. I had slid back in my chair and the next thing I knew was that I hit, not the floor but a wall, with a hand roughly pressing my wrists to the wall trim.
“At least you′re honest about your shortcomings.”, the voice said in a resigned tone. “As I was saying, the two of us are gonna leave this place in exactly a week. I'm finally gonna be a proper adventurer with a license and everything and you can be….”
“.... your husband?”, I asked in a tone that mixed hopefulness with a vibrating undertone of, What in the hell is going on?. I had always hoped that, if I were ever reincarnated, I'd be presented to a god or goddess or several of either or both who′d at least explain something, ANYTHING to me. Was this me being in another world? Was I dreaming?
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“I mean, obviously. You are already married to me. That ceremony ended six hours ago, are you always this slow on the uptake? Be it only because I'm not gonna be taken seriously otherwise, but yes, you are my husband. But I doubt that you'd be of much use in that regard.” She thinks for a few moments, looking me over. “You also don't look like you could carry stuff around like a porter. Can you use your family's bloodline ability? Either of them? Or any magic for that part?”
“I have no clue!”, I responded.
“For crying out- Were you born yesterday?”, she hissed. “Are all nobles like this?”, she asked. She let go with a sigh. She looked at me again. She walked over to the canopy bed, white fabric with what was presumably blue ribbons lining the edges as she laid down. She yawned before turning over to me. “Bed. Now.”, she demanded and I did not hesitate to heed her demands. Mostly to not draw her ire further beyond my apparent uselessness to her adventuring plans, but also because this body did not have access to any of the caffeine I had invested in my original one, yet all the tiredness had remained. Or maybe whoever this body belonged to possessed similarly bad sleeping habits.
So there I was, with a new wife, a new life and no clue what I was in for in this world. If I was in another world. No, no, my head was buzzing with confusing thoughts and I could for the new life of me not grab a single one for further introspection. I took a deep breath and let sleep claim me.
Tomorrow would be another day and maybe then I could figure anything out before I started judging my new fate.
