We were at a pause point. A dreaded trap hallway lay before us, filled with the promise of a sudden, digital death.

  "So, what you do here is you take it slow," my mom, Deadsilence, advised. "Disarm each one, one at a time."

  I waved my hand with dismissal and confidence. "I got this, don't worry." From my inventory, I pulled out my trump card: the Boomerang Ball.

  Boomerang Ball

  A small, lightweight bouncy ball that always returns to its owner.

  My moms looked at each other, shrugged, and stepped to the side, leaving the "master" to do his thing.

  "Remember to duck," Deadsilence warned. "You’re short, but a knife to the gut of an elf is a decapitation slash on a goblin."

  Good advice, she had been a Rogue much longer than me. I bounced the ball a few times to warm up my muscles, then aimed and threw! The ball blurred, hitting the walls repeatedly as it careened down the hall.

  A falling stone block triggered. Thump. Then the cutting blades my mom warned about hissed through the air. A cloud of gas erupted and exploded into a fireball, engulfing the hall. A few more mechanical clicks followed, and then things calmed down.

  With a triumphant grin, I turned to my moms and gave a thumbs-up. Then, I heard a delayed click from the far end of the hall. An arrow whistled through the air and went straight through my head. I watched as my HP plummeted to zero instantly.

  I heard HelzBom yell my name and Deadsilence ask, "Who sets an arrow trap at that height?"

  You were killed by an arrow trap!

  Penalty: -10% current level EXP. Some items and gold were dropped.

  You have respawned at: Starter Town.

  "Fluffing hazel!" I screamed at the respawn point. I was never going to hear the end of this. I opened my messages.

  Skidmark: I missed one.

  HelzBom: Where are you now?

  Skidmark: Starter.

  Deadsilence: ??????... I mean... wow, that sucks.

  Skidmark: Should I start my way back through the desert?

  This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

  HelzBom: Probably not. We have maybe two days left in this dungeon. How about you visit your in-game moms?

  Deadsilence: Don't worry, we got this. You'll still get your quest credit.

  Skidmark: Thanks, moms. Did you by chance see what happened to my bouncy ball?

  Deadsilence: It’s bouncing back through the dungeon. I think it’s trying to get back to you.

  Skidmark: Fluff. I’d hoped it would just return to my inventory. Well... I'll get it back in a few days.

  HelzBom: Sorry, kid. Hopefully Noobkitty is doing something fun.

  Skidmark: Avenge me! Complete the dungeon!

  Deadsilence: You will not have died in vain!

  HelzBom: Drama queens.

  Closing the chat, I checked my map. Noobkitty was at her shop, of course, so I headed that way. When I arrived, I was surprised to see no humans running the store at all. There were deer, birds, raccoons, bunnies, and Nibs the rat scampering about serving customers.

  "Hey, Nibs," I said. It was easy to tell it was him; Noobkitty had made him a tiny, enchanted apron.

  "Squeak!" the rat proclaimed happily, waving his paws.

  "Is Kitty in the kitchen?"

  Nibs squeaked and pointed toward the shed, or rather, the stable where GYOAT used to sleep.

  "Thanks. I'm going to go talk to her," I said. I started to turn, but the rat squeaked loudly. After a quick interaction between the animals, a raccoon trotted out with a teacup and five jalape?o cookies.

  "Ah, she’s skill-grinding? I can take those to her," I agreed, taking the items. The rat and raccoons put their paws together in a "thank you" gesture.

  The stable was filled with wood chips, shavings, boards, and a frazzled, dust-covered cat-woman.

  "Hey, Noobkitty," I said, placing the tea and cookies on her workbench. She shook herself like a dog, and a cloud of wood shavings flew from her fur.

  "Hey, Skidmark. How’s the dungeon?" she asked, clearly still in a "crafting frenzy" trance. I looked around; there were dozens of boxes and frames of all different sizes.

  "I died. Arrow through the head," I confessed.

  She blinked, and realization finally hit her. "Oh. I’m sorry."

  "It’s cool. Moms have it handled. What’s with all the boxes?"

  She sighed and sipped her tea. "I got convinced to make bedframes for farm animals, but then the forest animals wanted them, too... I lost count, but I think I made a gross amount of bedframes." She paused, waiting for my reaction. "Get it? A gross?"

  I just stared, waiting for an explanation. She gave up on the pun. "Anyway, how many levels did you get?"

  "Two class levels, and..." She handed me a small, hand-sized bed.

  Murid Bed

  Lv. 24

  Only to be used by Rodents.

  +50% Dexterity, +30% Charisma, +40% Energetic Feeling for six hours.

  "Frogs, Noobkitty! Weren't you only Level 10 in woodworking before I left?"

  She sipped her tea, slowly recovering from the frenzy. "Each species needed their own special size and enchantment. Between the volume, the variety, and my 25% skill-grind bonus... I just hit Level 25. Have you seen my fiancée?"

  "Not since I died," I replied.

  Suddenly, a massive shadow swept over the town. Noobkitty and I ran out of the barn to see the belly of a giant whale hovering above us. A woman descended from the sky holding a rope, adjusting her momentum with a quick jerk to land safely on the ground. She was holding the end of a long rope ladder.

  "Um... hey, sis. What's up?" Noobkitty asked.

  "Turns out we need someone with serious woodworking skills. Know anyone?" the pirate asked.

  "This was ExpertBunny’s idea, wasn't it?"

  "You've got a keeper," the pirate laughed. "Now come on! We need you and your teammates in the North to help build the beach resort." She then looked at me. "Want to ride a flying whale?"

  "Can I jump off it?" I asked, suddenly very excited.

  "Of course! I'll even teach you how to bungee jump off him," she said with a mischievous smile.

  "Fluff yeah! New skill!" I rushed to the ladder. I sent one last message to my moms.

  Skidmark: Going with Noobkitty’s sister. She’s letting me ride her sky whale and will teach me how to jump off it.

  Deadsilence: Keep your respawn point at Starter. Child lock is still on.

  HelzBom: Remember log-off is always an option if someone does something inappropriate. Protect your innocence.

  I yelled down to Noobkitty as I climbed, "Moms say it's okay!"