Alex drummed his fingers on the arm of the chair, trying to listen for the telltale signs of someone approaching the room. A million scenarios had been running through his head since he got that text last night, resulting in not a wink of sleep. His shoulders felt like Dr. Decay had used his Ruin Beam on them to rust them to hell and back.

  The message to Iron Menace had come from the number associated with Starsilk. Hell, the message itself showed up on one of Alex’s latest burners, one he’d only started using the night after Song had told him to ditch the Menace identity or else, so this wasn’t even a case of them hunting down someone he might’ve given that number out to. Which meant that they knew. Oh gods, Terror knew.

  Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck… Fuck!

  An imagined scenario he’d dreamed up played through one more time in his head. All three members of Starsilk walked straight through that door incensed. They rightfully took turns laying into him for keeping the fact that he was Iron Menace a secret. One by one, they’d each tell him to leave and never come back. Celestial would probably take everything she’d been working on leaving him with less tech than he’d started with. Weaver seemed like the type with a network who could spread the news that he was this creepy stalker who had infiltrated the lab all to spy on the woman who had run away from him. And Terror? Gods, Alex’s imagination walked him through a hundred different outcomes there and the lucky ones ended with her just ripping his carotid artery out with her teeth. At least that would be quick compared to the ones where she broke down in tears about how he’d invaded her home.

  The doors opening ended his daytime nightmares. Alex jumped from the chair he’d sunk into, turning to face the newcomer only to pause as he realized who she was.

  “Val? What are you doing here? Was this a team meeting?” he wondered, trying to come up with some reason the speedster was here… and carrying a tray of drinks? Oh gods, were they planning on revealing the whole thing to everyone on the team?!

  “Nyet,” she used one of the only two Steppeland words he knew to dismiss that. “I work here now. I am just delivering this while Dr. Celestial and Starweaver bicker.”

  She set the platter down and strode off at a normal person’s speed, though at a slightly faster pace than one might fast walk away. Alex was left there wondering what she meant for a brief moment before the other two members of Starsilk she’d mentioned walked in. Alex rose awkwardly, not sure if it was a good idea to continue slumping in the chair or not.

  “Uh, hello again Doctor, Weaver,” he addressed both of them in turn.

  Celestial glared at him, “It’s still Scientist!”

  Oh this was going fantastically. Alex looked past them towards the door as if pleading Val to come back and help him out. Celestial followed his gaze before sighing. She leaned through the open door and shouted down the hallway, “Godsdammit, Val. Not a doctor!”

  “It does sound better,” Weaver muttered as she motioned for Alex to sit down. Celestial turned her glare towards her coworker while shutting the door, but said nothing before seating herself. Hints of whatever argument Val had mentioned lingered in the air but Alex didn’t dare risk stirring the pot any further than things already were by addressing that.

  “So…” Starweaver began, her glowing red eyes examining Alex in his stripped down costume.

  The full kit had been missing when he’d teleported in – an ominous sign of how this meeting was expected to go – so he’d had to stick with a spare he’d stashed at home. The realization hit him as she peered at him that despite feeling naked in villain spaces without at least some kind of helmet on, this was probably the worst time to show up in costume.

  “I’m sorry,” Alex decided to start out with. “I, uh, I didn’t realize that- Um… I guess I should start out with the fact that I’m the Iron Menace, or I was but I wanted to change that, so I contacted Celestial here under a different name.”

  The two nodded but didn’t say anything. Celestial’s face wore a mask of annoyance while Starweaver’s was unreadable with only the top half showing. Alex felt himself sweat under their gazes.

  “I meant to tell you guys when I realized that Terrorantula was part of this team but I didn’t- Yeah, I’m sorry this has to be awkward.”

  “Why?” Starweaver sounded genuinely confused about that.

  Alex cringed at having to voice the obvious conclusion of what this looked like out loud himself but felt this was part of the penance they were expecting him to pay, “Well, because I asked her out when she already has someone. I’m sorry, that has to look like-”

  “What.” Starweaver interrupted him. The air seemed to go cold in the room.

  “Oh, shit,” Celestial muttered and immediately looked away as her compatriot rounded on her.

  Confused, Alex looked between the two of them. Weaver stood up while keeping a withering look glued on Celestial. She swept past her and motioned for the smaller woman to follow her out the door. After the scientist followed, the door quickly shut and Alex heard muffled voices conversing in sharp tones and clipped statements for almost a minute. He felt lost, clearly missing some larger context. Finally, the door reopened and the two strode back inside and returned to their chairs promptly, neither acknowledging the other in their long strides back to their seats.

  “There’s been… a miscommunication,” Weaver explained. “The good scientist here got her wires crossed.”

  “But, I thought Terrorantula confir-”

  “She said things were complicated,” Weaver quickly cut him off, speaking quickly. “She was seeing someone. Actually there were a lot of people who wanted to date her, you know, but that didn’t work out and she broke up with the guy she was with recently and things were super awkward and Celestial just got confused, right?”

  The blue woman’s hands danced throughout her explanation, which was delivered at a lightning fast pace. Alex turned to look over at the shorter woman who had a bewildered look on her face that transformed into daggers in her eyes, fixed on Weaver.

  There had to be some kind of thing going on with the dynamic of Starsilk that he’d have to figure out one day, but given that the smaller woman made no moves to try to correct her it seemed like Weaver’s story was accurate. Alex got the feeling that if the blue skinned woman got even the slightest detail wrong, the mad scientist’s personality wouldn’t allow her to let that slide. Huh… wonder who the lucky, or rather, unlucky guy she’d been seeing was?

  “Oh, uh… I’m sorry to hear that?” he went with what seemed like the safest response he could muster as he tried to cross reference who he knew that the spider villainess might’ve been dating. Not that he was planning on kidnapping them and dumping them in the ocean, mind you. He had absolutely no intentions of doing anything like that. Well unless the breakup was bad. If it was bad then maybe she wouldn’t mind if her ex vanished mysteriously.

  “Actually, it’s funny because she was looking for you,” Weaver continued, her words finally beginning to slow to a normal pace. “She, uh, wanted to know if that offer was still on the table?”

  With the amount of times Alex’s mind had gone blank over the past couple weeks, the villain really wondered if he should get his head looked at. Seriously this couldn’t be healthy. Oh, wait, shit.

  “She was looking-? Yes! I mean, yes, the offer- I mean, if she’s alright with that I’m interested in seeing her again,” Alex realized he was rambling and shut his mouth to try and regain control of his own words. “I mean, not just for future jobs but for the other thing.”

  He still couldn’t read too much of Starweaver’s face with her mask but Celestial’s was a mix of incredulity and a hint of disgust. Alex didn’t know how to take that, especially since it didn’t seem directed at him for some reason. Starweaver must’ve noticed as she turned to regard the smaller woman and let her brows knit together into a pointed, challenging look that dared the green haired woman for some response. The next few seconds were full of some sort of silent argument between the two of them with a myriad of facial expressions that hinted at some shared history Alex couldn’t fathom.

  He decided to break the growing tension with his own question, “Um… does Terror know about me?”

  “No!” Weaver quickly spoke up. “Only myself, Celestial, and Val know. We can go get her so you can tell her yourself if you’d like!”

  Celestial guffawed at this, earning yet another glare from the other spider woman of the lab. With the amount of glares being tossed around, Alex seriously had to wonder how these people got along.

  “Sur- Wait? Val knows?”

  For the first time, Alex could clearly read both of their faces at once as the same guilty look spread across both of them. Celestial was the one who spoke up, “She was there when we found out.”

  Oh… okay now her being here makes sense.

  “I did try to get their attention,” Val informed the room as she handed Celestial a phone.

  The three of them leapt, earning a sigh from the speedster before she blurred away. Alex watched the door and wondered how the hell they’d missed her opening it.

  Celestial took a moment to compose herself before checking the screen and smiling, “I need to make a quick call to arrange an order. Rifty or Menace or whoever you are, could you come meet me after you’re done with… this. Weaver you can go…”

  She sighed for almost a full ten seconds, “…find T or whatever you want to do.”

  The two once again exchanged looks that had a whole conversation shared between them in the silence before the smaller scientist left. As soon as the door swung shut, Weaver rounded on Alex.

  “So, I have to ask…” she seemed to barely restrain herself from climbing over the table between the two of them, fingers tapping excitedly against its surface. “What exactly is it that you like about m- Terror. About Terrorantula?”

  Oh no… Despite Alex’s first impression, it looked like Weaver was just as into gossip as half of the villains he’d met in his days. That or this was more of whatever the weird dynamic Starsilk had going on.

  “It’s not just the spider half, is it?” she eyed him suspiciously, voice dropping into a low, dangerous tone.

  “No!” Alex quickly answered, then realized he didn’t want to be misunderstood. It was probably the wrong move if he denied that too strongly. “I mean, it’s not a dealbreaker, it’s just not the reason. You spend enough time hanging around the cape scene and someone having spider legs or skeleton arms or claws kind of just feels like a normal person. Not that I think Terror’s normal! She’s incredible! Confident, funny, and tenacious… You see, the reason I wanted to ask her out is because, well…”

  As Alex rambled, the truth of why he’d risked asking her all those weeks ago landed on the tip of his tongue, “Every time I ended up on her team or we agreed to work together to steal something, I just… felt good. It felt like this natural fit and I kept looking forward to our next job together afterwards. I felt like I could trust her for just about anything.”

  He stared at the ground, not wanting to meet Weaver’s eyes. Or anyone’s eyes for that matter. Admitting that last part felt more personal than he’d intended. Fuck, he had just wanted to get Starweaver off his back, assuming she was about to launch into the standard “If you hurt her” speech but he’d been caught just off-guard enough that it had rattled something out of him that he wasn’t sure he’d wanted to say. Now he had to fight against a pit growing in his stomach.

  He risked a glance upwards and practically saw stars in the other villainess’s eyes. Oh, well at least I won her over, Alex thought.

  “I’m going to go and get her,” Weaver almost said the sentence as a single word. The tall woman bounded to her feet and practically giggled, which only made Alex’s face under his mask go all the redder. “You should tell her that! Just a moment.”

  The blue woman skipped out of the room and Alex got the feeling that she was on her way to gossip with Celestial after tapping Terror. His eyes remained locked on the door as he waited, which is probably how he finally noticed Val entering the room again. The woman frowned at the untouched drinks laid out on the table before coming over to clean up.

  “So you are Tech Crash too?” she asked, diverting his attention from the door again.

  Alex groaned as he squeezed his eyes shut in frustration, “Do they keep any secrets around here?”

  “They try to, but they have been discussing you a lot,” Val said before draining both Celestial and Weaver’s cups herself. “And have difficulties noticing me even if I tap them on the shoulder. You plan to date the woman you work with?”

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  “I-” Alex had to pause. That was a fair question. Sure until he hired his minions, it wasn’t like there was HR around here, but if this went poorly, not only could this cause issues for his plots for world domination, but it could potentially end with him being thrown to the wolves. Terror was a threat to behold on the job and Alex could only imagine what might happen if the relationship soured. Any other time he could probably deal with the fallout, but considering he was being hunted by the League at this very moment as well as by a demigod with a serious grudge? Dating might not mean immediately planning on tying the knot, but in effect this was far more commitment given the circumstances than one might usually expect from a simple invitation to get a couple drinks and see how things go.

  “I wouldn’t pause so long if asked that,” Val advised him. “I said yes to this job with no hesitation, even thinking this was a weird polycule with messed up dating rituals. Granted, they had me tied to a chair and there was a laser pointed at my head, but I still answered quicker. You don’t want to come off as being reluctant at this stage of a relationship. Either you have a problem or you don’t.”

  “I have so much to unpack with what you just said there.”

  Val just gave him a look before continuing, “The spider woman will be here soon. You need to know your answer.”

  As he considered that, she chewed on her lip for a second, “Actually, you need to know one more thing. It’s important you know this before trying to date anyone here. Last night, they got into a fight with someone from the League. They did not say who but they have been talking nonstop about revenge. If you get involved, their fight will be your fight too. I know your world domination will put you against those guys eventually but this is something you-”

  Alex interrupted her by laughing.

  He didn’t mean to do that and fought to control himself but the entire absurdity of the situation hit him and he couldn’t help himself. Val glared at him and he tried to gesture in whatever manner he could to let her know he didn’t mean it as an insult, but that task was complicated by him having doubled over trying to breath between rib-aching laughs.

  Actually this was close to a good maniacal laugh if he thought about it. Needs a bit of work in pitch and what not, but he should seriously try to match this when he faced his next set of heroes. He’d always admired villains that could dismiss the threats in front of them with a good chortle.

  Before he could explain it to the speedster, to let her know she’d informed him the one thing that could reassure him more than anything else that he could’ve been told, there was a knock at the door.

  ---------------------------------

  Lyn couldn’t stop smiling to herself as she triple checked the locks to her room. Val had popped up too much these past few days for her to risk this secret getting out. Not necessarily because she didn’t trust Val to keep this a secret – Lyn was fairly sure she and Celeste had imparted enough reasons to keep quiet when they’d first caught her – but it had more to do with the fact that she just knew Val would take Celeste’s side when it came to her keeping Starweaver a secret identity for now.

  Okay, Val might be on her side, what with her also knowing what the caped life actually was like, but she seriously didn’t want to chance it. Celeste had just been so annoying about “honesty” ever since she’d floated this whole thing, but they were villains! Clearly, Lyn was fine with Menace accidentally keeping his identity a secret, so it wasn’t like he could be mad that she was keeping Starweaver a secret for now too. Pretty sure that was couples compromising or something.

  Oh gods, “couples”! The word practically made her swoon!

  Fuck, it almost made her swoon! This was bullshit! She was Terrorantula! She didn’t swoon! Gods, she was over thirty, what the actual fuck was with her? She hadn’t even seen his face! This was teenager shit she should’ve been over by now. So what if this was the first time she’d been this close to actually going on a date in over a decade, she shouldn’t be this stupid about it.

  And yet… he trusted her? Oh, she knew just what that meant in a life like this! Plus he thought she was confident? Holy shit, she was nailing this whole “masked identity” thing! Of course she could maintain a secret identity like this! Easy.

  She ran those words over and over in her head again along with the knowledge she’d totally tricked him with her brilliant act as Starweaver into telling him about why he was into her. She almost started giggling before that reaction disgusted her enough that she needed to compose herself.

  It was at that moment she recognized the feeling of The Presence coming from a small hand mirror on her desk. She rounded on it.

  “Not a word about this! I am above such trivial things!” she hissed. She felt some sort of tinge of obedience echo within the back of her mind and smiled. “Good. Now, I’m going to go back out there and properly lock this down.”

  A sense of approval radiated towards her. Her grin grew. She had to admit that she was growing used to whatever the hell this was. She still wanted Scarlet to finally fucking call her and tell her the nitty gritty about whatever weird ass shit it really was, but for now it seemed to know its place well enough. Not to mention whatever had happened during the fight with Reflecta. She knew whatever was haunting her had ended up helping her win that battle at the warehouse and could get used to a few awkward stares her way if it meant tipping the scale a little more. Especially since they’d be going up against the League soon.

  Her supernaturally healed back ached at the thought and reflexively venom gathered in her fangs. Irritation bubbled inside of her as this dull ache refused to go away and she felt similar malevolence resonate towards her from the thing in the mirror.

  “Patience,” she said aloud, not sure to which of them she was directing that towards. “For now, let’s just focus on getting a boyfriend. Then we can help him conquer the world and rip Arex apart for breaking my spine. That will be such a nice date. Maybe we’ll steal that stupid raptor skull off his neck as a souvenir.”

  Excitement swelled up from the mysterious onlooker and then it vanished in an instant, leaving the room feeling empty. Lyn unlatched the door and exited in her larger form, grinning for all the right reasons. Menace had mentioned that he’d always kept looking forward to their next job together. It was the exact same for her. Every time they’d crossed paths, there’d been something subtle in the back of her mind that noted how much fun it had been to rob a bank or steal a precious art piece with him. She hadn’t actually realized her own feelings, not truly, until he’d asked her out that first time. But at that moment, battered and bruised, and having lived off reheated fast food for almost a week, she’d felt unworthy. It had felt like if she had stayed there, then he’d realize how awful an idea it would’ve been to date her.

  Now… well, he’d been to the lab she lived in and had met her goblin of a roommate all while politely ignoring the slightly too full trashcan on the way to the meeting room and the scuffs on the floors in the hallway. He’d seen flashes of how she lived and still wanted to date her. That was without him even knowing about the new body she’d gotten. Well, he knew Weaver existed but not that Lyn was also her. Hmm… actually now that she thought about it like that, he might not know her name. Had he looked her up? Had he seen the teacher’s assistant in that last picture of her at the lab before the accident that turned her into this? Did he like her more? Did he like her less?

  A knot grew in her stomach while she made her way over to the room she’d left the villain in, all the while her thoughts began to churn.

  Would he like “Lyn” not just “Terrorantula”? She tugged on the edge of her mask, swallowing as she wondered if he’d even like her gross face underneath this with the inky eyes that never blinked scattered all over her forehead. Maybe she should tell him about Starweaver? Maybe he’d like that form more. Maybe he just hadn’t noticed everything around this lab and how awful she was and how someone like him who was planning to rule the world was so much better than someone-

  Mistress?

  She turned her head to look at her distorted reflection on the metal surface of one of the servers that littered this place and took a deep breath. Yes, right of course. “Mistress.” She commanded… whatever this thing was. She’d concocted the plan to beat the Starlight Squad. She was more than just some failure forever tied to Ned’s shadow. And yeah, so what if the eyes on her forehead were weird and icky. She’d sold the soul of some weirdo magician and gotten another sexy face that he’d love. She deserved this. She earned this. He was hers.

  Just… just go in there and don’t freak out again, she told herself as she crossed the lab. You can do this. Just. Knock on the door, let him ask you out, and say yes this time!

  Lyn was pure nerves as she knocked on the door, even as she tried multiple times to reassure herself that she knew what was about to happen. She just couldn’t quiet the voices telling her that this wasn’t going to last and that he was going to notice everything wrong with her soon after. This was just going to end in pain and she’d ruined everything that Celeste and her had built and Celeste would mistakenly take her side and ruin her own life and-

  The door opened and Val stepped out. The speedster met her eyes and arched a brow.

  Shit, did she look that worried? Lyn didn’t trust herself to say anything, especially with the door hanging open so she just took another deep breath and motioned to let Val past. The speedster blurred away, leaving that ominous room yawning in front of her. Should she have asked for advice there? No! She knew what she needed to and was ready for this!

  Lyn pushed herself forward while she still felt like she had the momentum to do so.

  ---------------------------------

  “Riftmaker!” Terrorantula addressed him as she entered the room. There was an odd lilt to her voice as if she was putting on some kind of performance, but the fact barely registered with Alex as his throat went dry. A too wide smile was painted on her face as she asked, “What are you doing here?”

  “I-” he barely forced the first word out. She was here in costume, completely repaired from the last time he’d seen her. The sight of her, right here, right now, made his heart hammer in his chest.

  Calm down, you’re both adults and it sounds like both of you want this, he told himself as he tried to get hold of himself. Not to mention, apparently the biggest hangup isn’t a hangup at all. Both of you are preparing to fight the League together so you don’t have to worry about this falling apart in a few weeks. So come on, just tell her who you are and ask her out again!

  He watched her smile, which seemed a little forced, beginning to wilt and quickly bit his lip before standing up and said, “I’m here to you and asking you to say I am-”

  WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!

  “What?” her face was one of utter befuddlement, no doubt wondering if he had brain damage, which Alex was definitely starting to feel like he should get a diagnosis on that soon.

  “Sorry, let me just,” he coughed and reached for the cup of what looked like water left behind by Val for him. Gods, let this just be straight vodka.

  He didn’t get an answer to which it was as the glass clunked against the faceplate of his helmet. He fumbled it for a second and barely put it back down on the table before clearing his throat. Terror was staring at him with a look of concern on what parts of her face he could make out under the mask. He steadied himself and was intensely grateful that he wasn’t shooting lightning bolts to top this whole thing off.

  “Okay, just… How much has Celestial and Weaver told you? About me?” he decided to start with that. Just work from there and follow what comes naturally.

  “Nothing!” she answered quickly. If Alex could think clearly, he might’ve thought it was too quickly. He might’ve thought many things but the inside of his head felt like he was burning up as the anticipation ate through every neuron he could fire off. “I mean, they told me you were here and wanted to talk to me.”

  “Okay,” Alex inhaled through his nostrils. “I… have something I want to tell you.”

  “Yes?” she eagerly leaned forward, a few of her legs stamping the ground as her lower body rotated itself to face him.

  “I… um… I’m not Rift- I mean, I am, but- I’m the Iron Menace!” he blurted out.

  She nodded at that and looked like she wanted him to continue for a moment before suddenly gasping, “Oh! I mean, oh wow! Really?”

  Something felt off about that but Alex’s brain couldn’t process more information from watching her face other than judging if she was upset or not. It was all he was studying her for at the moment as his teeth dug into his lip. The look she was wearing didn’t seem like she was mad at him? That was probably good. He tried to apologize. Right, that’s what came next.

  “I, uh, didn’t mean to- I meant to tell you when I knew we were working together but- I just-”

  FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, Alex screamed in his head. He had only been half as awkward in his last relationship. Why was this so difficult?

  Yeah, well remember how that one ended? You stole experimental weaponry, got your home blown up by a goddess, and ghosted the woman you proposed to in the aftermath of that shitshow. Your track record just screams “great at relationships.”

  “Oh! Um, I’m not mad!” Terror spoke up. “I guess I can see how that happens!”

  She’s taking this revelation surprisingly well, Alex reckoned and decided to try and gently move into the next part of this.

  “I spoke with Celestial and Weaver and they said you had been looking for me?” he let that statement hang so long on the final syllables that it turned into a question. Terror fidgeted but didn’t answer so he started to continue, “I heard tha-”

  “Wait!” she interrupted him and Alex felt his blood go cold. Obviously this all had been too good to be true. He was getting his hopes up for nothing. She was too good a villain for-

  “I, um…” Terror’s claws tapped together and she ran the tip of her tongue against her pointed teeth before reaching up and peeling the mask off herself.

  He’d seen a good chunk of her face awhile back, not that she probably remembered it. They’d been on a team run by Breakdown and had been in charge of grabbing the Gem of Adal Mu together while three other villains kept some of the heroes busy. One of the fire heroes had set off the gas main and one of the pipes blew near Terror’s head. She’d been fine but her mask hadn’t made it out unscathed. That’s when he’d first seen the eyes on her forehead.

  He’d been hypnotized by them while she helped put out a few flames sticking to his much less impressive armor at the time. That moment might’ve been the moment he first started to have a crush on her, since the Gem had been in her reach but she’d come back to help him out, even though he’d been fine. It wasn’t like he’d completely obsessed with her just… it was a nice memory he kept coming back to. Honestly, it had seemed at the time like she hadn’t even noticed the mask had been burned like it had.

  “I’m Evelyn Everett,” she told him. “Lyn, I go by Lyn actually. I… this is me.”

  Her arms were practically glued to her sides even as she spread her forearms out. She looked… vulnerable with an awkward smile and pitch black eyes that seemed like they were on the verge of breaking out into tears. Her face was twitching, but the chitinous nature of it prevented the many minute motions as he could tell she’d probably be expressing.

  “If you don’t like it-” her voice squeaked, but Alex threw his hands to his helmet and yanked it off before she could say another word.

  Sweat caused his hair on the back of his head to stick to the helmet as it peeled away from him. It was getting close to shaggy as he’d only done a little more than maintaining it the past few weeks. He felt every faded scar scattered across his face as though they were all fresh, wondering if she’d notice a chip in his right nostril from hitting that exposed piping in Orion or the nick on his left eyebrow from a knife thrown by some no name villain who had been feuding with one of his old bosses. A small patch under his jaw no longer grew hair from a chemical burn that he tried to cover up by combing his beard over it when it got long enough, but his stubble wasn’t quite there yet. He risked a smile and exposing the fact that his lower canine had the tip missing from who-knew-which punch to the face. He felt every imperfection he’d ever accumulated as well as those he was born with being held up under a spotlight with this, but still, it felt like the right thing to do.

  Her eyes had gone wide and her mouth worked in an obvious effort to summon up some words but nothing came out.

  He decided to try and copy her lead, “I’m… Alex Adams. I guess this is who I am? If you’re okay with that then-”

  She lunged across the room, scrambling over the table and scooping him in her arms with a laugh.

  “Yes!”