Isaak took her hand and they went downstairs together. Kasia found her friends right where she had left them– though all the plates were clean.
When Andrew and Janine looked up and saw them holding hands they cooed and whistled excitedly. Ivar, on the other hand, was staring hard at Isaak, his lips set in a thin line.
Isaak sat down and Kasia found Sondra.
"What is it, dearest?" Sondra asked quizzically.
"I was wondering if we could get more food for Isaak and I?"
Sondra’s eyebrows shot up, "They ate it all? How rude! There was more than enough for everyone."
Kasia laughed, "I mean I was gone for over an hour. This way it'll be fresh."
Sondra tutted, but bustled off to get them food.
As Kasia returned to the table she heard Ivar complaining to Janine, "You failed to correct me when I asked about a strapping young fellow. He's old enough to be her father!"
Isaak grinned at him. "But fit enough to be her brother."
Kasia laughed nervously, "My brats are large and strong, but they're still nowhere near as big as you. As I mentioned, only my Ojciec is larger than you."
Ivar frowned, turning his attention to Kasia, "It's not my business, but you know the Lord Commander is going to murder him and lock you up the moment he finds out, right?"
"I do." Kasia admitted. "I assume you'll be the one to tell him?"
Ivar shrugged and shook his head, "Like I said, it's not my business. I'm your guard, not your priest. But believe me when I say I want front row seats for when he does find out." He smirked at Isaak, "and, no offense, but I won't be cheering for you."
Isaak chuckled, low and deep, "No offense taken. I wouldn't cheer for a woodsman over the Lord Commander, either."
And with that, the tension was gone. They laughed and chatted together about mundane things. Several times Sondra came over to sit and talk with them.
After many hours spent in pleasant company, Ivar "guarded" them as they took a long walk along the coast. When it drew near to sunset, Ivar told Kasia to say her goodbyes, and he only coughed uncomfortably once as she and Isaak kissed with a little too much enthusiasm.
On the walk back to the front gates, Ivar spoke to Kasia in a low voice so Andrew and Janine wouldn't overhear, "Katarzyna… you know a man like that- he's not looking for a wife. He wants all the companionship and joy a good wife brings, but none of the responsibility of a husband. I know it's not my place, but you could do so much better. That man will ruin you."
Kasia was quiet for a while as she digested Ivar's words, "I know he won't marry me or promise me a future… but he also won't steal it. The knights here," and by this, they both knew she was speaking of Wojciek, "they would be dutiful, responsible husbands…but they would steal my future if I gave it to them."
Ivar looked pained, “So don’t marry the Knight Captain. But there are many other men, good men, who could give you what you want… but, Katarzyna, if you continue to dally with a rake like that, eventually that will become the only type of man who will have you. You’re too young to throw your future away, even if you think you know what you want. I’m not saying go get married, I’m saying don’t do anything that would make a good man turn from you.”
The words stung, but they were the exact sort of advice she would have given to herself, were she listening to her head and not her heart. “I know you’re right, Ivar. I do. I just… I am torn inside about what I want.”
Ivar put an arm around her and pulled her into a hug, “You don’t have to know right now. Just don’t open a door that will make others close.”
Kasia smiled, “Thanks, Ivar. You give…you give good advice.”
“Anytime, little Kasia.” Ivar smiled warmly. “And if that rake tries anything, you know you can come to me and I’ll tear him a new one, right?”
Kasia nodded, laughing. Ivar looked relieved that she was laughing and not crying anymore. Janine and Andrew, who had heard her begin to cry, rushed up to see what was wrong. Ivar fell back and let Kasia’s friends take an arm on either side of her.
What was that about?” Janine whispered, throwing a dirty look back at Ivar.
Ivar shrugged.
“Nothing. He just gave me some really good advice. He was trying to warn me that Isaak just wants to have sex with me, and I told him I already knew that. He also warned me about going too far with Isaak because then I won’t be able to find a good husband later on… And I just… I don’t think I’m ever going to find someone without sacrificing some part of myself.
“If I marry a ‘good’ man, then he will want me to stay here in Gdansk to tend his hearth and bear his children… if I carry on with Isaak, he will love me for a season, and then leave me heartbroken and alone– but free to go where I want and do what I want.” Kasia sighed, anguished. “Andrew, can I ask you something? Would you marry Janine if she had slept with someone before you?”
“I…” Andrew froze like a yearling fawn “I… uh… don’t know. I want to marry her because I love her.”
“Sorry, that wasn’t a fair question, was it?”
Andrew and Janine both seemed to be looking at her with concern.
“But… would it matter to you? Since you love her?” Kasia pressed, unable to let this go.
“I really don’t know the answer. It would depend on the situation–was it just one person or did she share her body indiscriminately? And if she was carrying another man's child...” Andrew his face twisted in pain with the words he did not say out loud. He looked down at the ground and fell silent.
Janine put a comforting hand on Andrew’s shoulder. “We were never encouraging you to have sex with him, Kasia. Just some fun. Men will forgive a few kisses. But…” she looked sad. “I know it’s not fair. But it’s the world we live in. Why is this on your mind? You weren’t thinking about sleeping with him, were you?”
Kasia blushed, “Well, it’s really hard. When he starts talking about freedom and living your dreams right now instead of waiting for them, it makes so much sense! And when I mentioned that I’d never be able to find a husband he asked me why I would want a man who cared so much about my virtue?”
She smiled sheepishly, shrugging her shoulders, “But now that I’m away from him, I feel confused. And angry. All of my worth is bundled up into whether or not I’ve slept with a man? And is that the future I want? A husband who only married me because I am ‘untouched’? Why does having sex make me have less value?” She stared at her friends, but they were looking at her with pitying expressions that only seemed to make her angrier.
“I don’t know, Kasia. I’m sorry.”
They walked through the front gates. “Take care, children.” Ivar chuckled. He was only a few years older, but he was a blooded Knight, which made him an ‘adult’.
“Thanks Ivar.” Kasia grunted sadly as they walked by.
He reached out and ruffled her hair, “You’ll figure things out, little Kasia.”
As they walked away, they heard Erik asking his brother, “So what was that about?”
“You guys go on… I’m going to go talk to my Tatu?.” Kasia muttered, hugging her friends goodbye.
She went inside the castle and found her father, once again, holed up in his war room with his council. Currently they were pouring over maps of the area and marking points.
“Lord Commander?” Kasia asked softly, worried he would be too busy with the monster hunt and ask her to leave.
“What is it, initiate?” Her father asked.
“I was wondering if you had time to have dinner with your daughter this evening?”
“Of course.” He replied kindly. “Ren, finish things here.”
He threw a dagger across the room and hit the center of a wooden circle on the wall. “I win.”
Wojciek grunted in disappointment.
Kasia smiled brightly and took her father’s hand once he drew near. They went to the Lord Commander’s chambers, to the living area. The Lord Commander pulled a cord near the dining table, summoning the kitchen staff to bring his dinner.
The kitchen staff was made of the family members of hunters who were not hunters themselves. It was another way the knights tried to provide jobs and stability for those within their care.
Kasia sat opposite her father at the thick oak dining table, picking at her cuticles, trying to work up the courage to speak.
“You look like a monster bit you. What’s wrong?”
“Tatu? ... why does a woman become unwanted if she has sex before marriage?””
Her father choked and sputtered as his eyes went wide. His face began to turn red, “What?! Kasia, no! Have you?!”
Kasia blanched, and she looked at her dad with horror, “NO! Tatu?! of course not!” she was so uncomfortable, “But… I just feel like I’m never going to find a husband who will let me be a hunter. And… if I’m never going to find a husband… what’s the point? And why is it so wrong? Why does a man touching a woman make her less valuable to other men?”
The Lord Commander looked as though he had stopped breathing, his face changing colors so drastically Kasia worried he might pass out.
Her father struggled to compose himself, “We are supposed to preserve our chastity. The first time you share your body with another, that can only ever happen once. You can only give it to one person and never take it back.”
Kasia could read the thoughts flashing behind her father's eyes like they were painted on the wall: Why was she talking about this? Was she planning something? Should he throw her in the dungeon? No–Throw the woodsman in the dungeon, never to be heard from again! No, better!—make him disappear. A vagrant. Everyone would think that he’d simply moved on to the next town.
Kasia struggled not to tell her father how obvious his thoughts were.
He took a deep breath, the red flush on his face returning to a more normal hue.
Kasia’s nails dug into the wood of her chair’s arms, “I understand that it is a gift, that you are meant to give it to your future partner as a show of love, but–”
They were interrupted by the kitchen staff entering with dinner. They silently laid the table, offered a polite greeting to Kasia and her father, then disappeared just as silently.
Kasia pulled off a chicken leg to nibble on while she thought, “Women will marry men who have lain with others. It’s frowned upon, but nothing actually comes of it. When a woman does this, she is called a whore and considered unweddable. Why? Why is it different for women?”
“Because people are hypocrites.” Her father answered her. He took a large drink of the wine. Then another.
“Creators. This is not nearly strong enough for this conversation.” He muttered under his breath, “I don’t have an answer for you.” He chewed the inside of his cheek, huffing, “Why is this bothering you so much? Please don’t say it’s because of the woodsman. Or Is it Andrew and Janine? I can’t say that I’m happy with the situation. But I can’t stop them. And they do look happy. I believe that they will live a long and happy life together.”
Kasia’s scalp prickled with sweat. Gods this was uncomfortable! “Yeah… me too. I asked Andrew if he would marry Janine if she had been with someone else first. He basically said no.”
She poked at the roasted vegetables on her plate glumly and continued, “Isaak is the first man I’ve actually felt something for… I mean, I thought I liked Louis, but he was a cunt.” her father winced at her crass language, but said nothing. It was a battle he'd conceded to her long ago.
“And I know I’m being stupid,” she continued, "That Isaak won’t marry me so I shouldn’t even bother with him, but… he’s been the one bright light in all that’s been going on recently. I’m…drawn to him. And, I know he will say whatever he needs to for me to sleep with him, but when he asked me why I would want to marry a man who would refuse a woman because of her past… that got to me.”
Her father’s face puckered like he’d sucked on a lemon, “Yep. I'm sending him to the dungeon.”
“Tatu?!”
Jon sighed, rubbing his forehead, “Don’t be hard on Andrew. He's a romantic. A lot of men are, deep down. I don’t believe that he would think a woman to have less value if she weren’t—” her father seemed to struggle to even say the word out loud. He cleared his throat uncomfortably, “---A virgin. His romanticism wants to be with someone who saved herself for him, like he saved himself for her. You should wait for your husband Kasia. You’ll find someone, you’re still very young.”
Kasia pushed out her chair to go climb on her father’s lap. She knew he’d have to eat with one hand because of it, but she also knew he’d choose to have her on his lap every time. She grabbed her bowl of roasted carrots from across the table and began eating those. “Thank you, Tatu? . I don’t know that I feel any better because the way the world is, it sucks and isn’t fair at all… but, I also think you’re right.”
“Of course I’m right. When in doubt. Listen to Tatu?.” He kissed the top of her head.
Kasia’s heart still felt at war, but many people had given her the advice to wait. Only Isaak had suggested she should not. And he seemed content enough with what she was willing to give him. She didn’t know why she was fretting over this. Trade some kisses. Have some fun. Then let him go.
“Tatu?, have your hunters made any progress with the werewolf?”
Jon sighed. “No. And the strangest part is it seems impossible to track. We quickly lose where it has gone.”
Kasia ran her hand along the red rope tied around her neck, “Why didn’t it kill me when it had the chance?”
“I don’t know. Nor do I intend to ask it. But I am glad that it did. I don’t want to lose you. Are you sure about being a hunter? There are so many things in this life that you would be good at.”
Kasia was surprised to hear her father speak like this. “Like what? I feel like my only choices are hunter and wife.”
“Fantastic. Be a hunter. But not a Knight. Deer and boar are far safer. Or a sailor. Okay. Maybe not a sailor. That would take you far away from me.” He chuckled a little, to trying to keep the mood light. “But you’re right. You’d be bored as a seamstress. Or a farmer. Maybe a rancher?”
Kasia made a face, “Eww. That sounds terrible. Except the hunter one. That one I like. But Tatu? ... I’ve worked my whole life to do this. To be like you. Do-do you not think I can do it?”
“Oh, no, sweetheart! Not that at all. You are amazing. You’ve beaten Harold. Twice!” He laughed brightly, “You are an excellent huntress. But no parent wants to bury their child. I will not tell you to abandon your dreams.”
Kasia brightened, “Thank you, Tatu? . I love you. And thank you for just listening and not getting upset about my questions.”
“I love you too, moja dziecka.” (My child)
Harold POV:
“Well? Are you coming?” he barked after another brutal day of training.
“Just ignore him.” Andrew put his hand on Kasia’s shoulder, “Let’s eat dinner.”
A smile tugged at the corners of Kasia’s lips, which made his blood boil. What did she have to be so happy about?
Harold had refused to so much as look at her for the last week. It had taken him that long to forgive her for seeing him at a moment of weakness. She’d had the gall to try and comfort him!
“And miss training with the best initiate there is? No way.” Kasia teased.
She was acting like it hadn’t happened? Good. That was good. He felt a small amount of gratitude to her for that.
She clapped each of her friends on the back, “I’ll see you both later. Either tonight or tomorrow.” She got up and Harold led her out of the Cantina toward the training yard.
Once they were out of earshot she asked, “How are you?”
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“We’re not friends,” He snapped back, “I don’t care how you are.”
“I know we’re not friends. But you are my training partner so your well-being concerns me. So, again, how are you?”
They'd reached the empty training grounds.
“Just drop it and fight me.” Harold grabbed a quarterstaff and threw it at her. Then grabbed another for himself and took up a defensive stance.
“Ooh, different weapons.” Kasia brightened with enthusiasm.
While they received some instruction on different weapons, Ren focused on giving them mastery of the basic ones instead of moderate skill in a wide variety. It made sense, but Harold wanted to be as versatile as possible.
Across from him, Kasia took up a defensive position, getting used to the weight of the staff, “So where have you been for the last few days?”
Harold straightened with pride, “I was tasked with helping Knight Captain Wojciek with his patrols.” I was doing real Knight work while you were still playing pretend.
Kasia raised her eyebrows, surprised, “Good for you.”
Bitch. Fight back! Stop being nice to me!
The fight began and Harold lunged at her with an overhead strike. Kasia held up her own staff to block the blow and kicked his stomach while his staff was still raised.
He grunted, absorbing the impact but stayed on his feet. She wouldn’t beat him this time. He swung at her feet in an attempt to trip her, but Kasia jumped over the staff and struck back.
She continued to jab at him with the end of her staff, but he blocked or brushed aside every thrust. After one such block, he spun and swung his staff at her back.
Kasia ducked and tried another jab, this time connecting with his stomach.
“AGH” Harold grunted as the tip of the staff hit him hard in the gut.
Kasia allowed herself a brief, pleased smile.
He spat on the ground and attacked her again; spinning he adjusted his grip so that both hands were on the same end of the staff and swung as hard as he could, but Kasia managed to direct his blow to the side with her own staff.
"Ow! Why the fuck can't I hit you?” Harold growled under his breath. He had been trying to keep his cool throughout this fight, but she'd hit him twice already and he'd failed to land a blow. His pride was beginning to smart.
That’s it! Dropping his staff, he lunged forward and tackled Kasia to the ground.
The move knocked the breath out of Kasia, who hadn’t been expecting an entire man to come flying at her. When she caught her breath again, she began to laugh. She was completely pinned beneath him.
“You are such a brawler!” she chuckled. Her laugh was happy, not condescending, but Harold still searched her expression for some sign of haughtiness. That she thought she was better than him. He found none.
She squirmed beneath him, then gave up when he proved to be too heavy and laughed some more. “You got me. I’m stuck.”
Harold felt surprised that that had worked. She was so slippery.
Why the hell does she sound happy? The fuck is wrong with this girl? He straddled her and held her down. He looked at her lips to see if she was smiling. For fucks sake she was.
He didn't realize that his eyes lingered.
“I imagine this match goes to you since all you have to do to win is strangle me, and I can’t get you off. I might break free, but I’d rather avoid being strangled to find out.” Kasia’s bow lips quirked up in a crooked smile.
Anger flooded him, Why wasn’t she angry?! Why didn’t she feel worthless now that he had beaten her?! That was how he had felt when he’d lost to her— so why did she act like this was just some fun game?!
“Nice fight, partner. Shall we go to the cantina?”
Kiss her… A voice in his head whispered.
What the fuck?!
Harold shoved himself off of her, but not before his body had started to change.
"What?! No! I'm not going to eat with you!" He scoffed bitterly.
Don’t look! Don’t Look! Gods damn it. She looked. And she had seen.
Kasia’s cheeks turned pink and she quickly looked away.
It was probably just a physical reaction that he would have had being pressed against any female– it didn’t mean he was attracted to her. His eyes roved her body when she wasn't looking. Nope. Definitely wasn't attracted to her.
“Why do you hate me so much, Harold? Haven’t I proved that I have worked just as hard as you to be a knight?”
"I don't care how hard you work. You shouldn't be a knight." And you beat me. That's why I hate you.
He turned his body away, feeling heat along his neck and ears. "Go eat dinner with your second class friends."
Kasia's face hardened. "Well then maybe these extra training sessions are a waste of time, since nothing I do can change things. You told me I'd need to work harder than everyone just to catch up- but I can already beat you, the self-proclaimed best. You were wrong about me. Why should I bother with you? Goodnight, Harold." She stomped toward the door, like a petulant toddler.
"You got lucky!" He yelled out after her.
“Twice!” Came the reply.
Stupid girl. He'd never admit why he hated her. Or why he now hated her. She was somehow better than he was. He hated her because he needed her to get better.
Did I really want to kiss Wojciek's future wife? His body shivered with angry… disgust. Well, he tried to be disgusted.
Kasia POV:
Kasia joined Andrew and Janine in the Cantina. They had just finished their meal, but were kind enough to stay and keep Kasia company.
"You guys were right. I was kidding myself with Harold." Kasia shook her head. she angrily tore off some bread and chewed it like it had personally offended her.
"Nothing I do will change his mind about me. I need to stop caring what he thinks. What everyone thinks. Fuck them all." She thought about Isaak. About how he lived his dreams right now and didn't care about the opinions of others. Why was she trying so hard to win the approval of people who were never going to give it?
"I think I'm going to sneak out and see Isaak tonight." Kasia added around a mouthful of stew.
Andrew’s eyes went wide, “What?! But-but your Ojciec said—and you never go against him!”
Kasia blushed and smiled, “I’ve been doing some thinking…about what makes me happy. Following the curfew? That’s never made me happy. Training with Harold? Definitely doesn’t make me happy. Why am I spending so much energy and effort on things that don’t make me happy? It’s like I’m working to sabotage myself. Being with Isaak makes me happy…and I could use some happiness right now.”
“Well we won’t stop you. Just don’t get caught. You love being a knight.” Andrew smiled at her, having recovered from his surprise, but there was still worry in his eyes.
Janine wolf whistled, beaming at Kasia, “Get it, girl! It’s nice to see you acting your age for once– breaking rules and having fun. I had started to think you were born middle-aged.”
Kasia laughed. They walked back to the barracks together and then Kasia slipped away into the castle where there was a secret passage that led to the village. It was for emergency escapes…well, now it was also for romantic ones, too.
Kasia emerged from the tunnel in the woods just outside of the village. No one was outside this late— except for the initiate who had been assigned to guard the sheep. Only now there was a knight with them as well. But the pasture was far from the inn and she knew they wouldn’t be able to see her from there. She made her way to the inn.
It was late, past dinner, and the inn was mostly empty. Those who were there were already deep into their cups. If they saw Kasia enter, it was unlikely they would remember it.
“Hey Sondra, is Isaak in?” Kasia asked brightly when she spotted her favorite innkeeper (not that there was a long list).
“What are you doing here?!” Sondra asked in surprise. She quickly herded Kasia into the kitchen where no one would see her.
Kasia bit her lip guiltily, had she taken this freedom and happiness thing too far? “I… snuck out to see Isaak.”
Sondra’s eyes went wide with surprise, but Kasia also caught the glint of excitement as well. “Little baby Kasia, sneaking out? What has the world come to!” She covered her mouth with mock horror but when her hands came away she wore an enormous grin. “You are so cute! Yes, I think that he’s upstairs. You did ask him not to go out at dark, after all. Come here.”
Sondra pulled her deeper into the kitchen and opened a cupboard. There were dozens of closed containers and a sweet scent drafted in the air. She picked up one of the smaller ones and gave it to Kasia. “Make this tea in the morning. One spoon is sufficient.”
"Uh, thanks." Kasia replied, puzzled. She did her best to appear very pleased and grateful. "What flavor is it?"
“Unfortunately, it's horrible. But you’ll want to take it tomorrow morning without fail.”
Her answer only served to confuse Kasia further. "Why do you want me to drink horrible tea?"
“Oh dear gods. Your father hasn’t said anything?” Sondra gently shook her head as if it should have been the most natural thing for him to have told her. “You want to stay in the knights, don’t you?”
Kasia's eyes widened even further, "What?! What does horrible tea have to do with staying in the knights and why do you think my Tata should have told me….to drink tea?"
“Oh sweet child!” Sondra cooed at Kasia’s innocence. She gently put her hand on the girl's shoulder. A comforting gesture. “The tea will help you stay without child. It’s very effective. Did you think that Andrew and Janine were making all that noise just to tease you?”
Kasia blanched, feeling a little sick, "No, I- Janine told me there were ways… I… wait- you think I'm going to go have sex?!" Kasia was outraged. Then she realized she was showing up to see a man at night in his room…. It wasn't the most far-fetched conclusion. Kurwa.
Kasia tried to hand the jar back to Sondra. "Thank you, really, but I didn't come here to have sex. I just wanted to talk and…well, maybe kiss and cuddle a bit. But that's all!" She insisted.
Sondra may not have been a tall woman. But Kasia was only nineteen and maybe had a little more left to grow. She bent her legs slightly so that her face was level with Kasia’s. Her eyes were kind. “I believe you. But even if you were, you don’t need to be ashamed in front of me. It’s only natural. I know that you won’t sleep with him. But take it anyway. My gift to you, child. I think of you as a daughter, and you are a woman now.”
Kasia enjoyed how Sondra assumed the worst and loved her anyway. It was an amusing and endearing trait. "I can't have sex with him, Sondra. He has made it clear that he won't stick around and I'll never be able to find a husband in the future if I'm not… if I'm not 'intact'." Kasia's face was flushed with embarrassment, and a little anger. She hung her head sadly.
“Oh, my dearest.” Sondra sat down on one of the two chairs in the kitchen and encouraged Kasia to sit on the other. “You’re as whole as you want to be. No one has to know. And when you find a husband, if you think that he can know and love you, then tell him. If not, it’s none of his business anyway. You are the one who determines your value.” A slightly mischievous smile spread on Sondra’s face. “Besides. It’s the other way around. You’ll never be more… ‘intact’ than after. It’s wonderful.”
"What do you mean?"
"You think you know what life and happiness is? Just you wait. You'll realize that you were never whole before." Sondra spoke kindly to Kasia. "I'm not saying that you should. Nor that you shouldn't. I'll love you either way."
Kasia melted and hugged Sondra tightly. "I love you, Sondra. Thank you. Can I ask, did you have sex before you married Gregosz?"
"I did. Are you disappointed?"
If anything, Kasia looked relieved, "Not at all. Does he know?"
"He does. It didn't bother him. But there are many who it would."
"Still…it's nice to know that men like that exist. I…you've given me a lot to think about. Thank you, Sondra." Kasia hugged Sondra tightly once more, kissed her cheek, then rose to her feet. Sondra bade her good night with a cheeky wink.
Kasia hurried up the stairs, gave a light knock to the third door on the left, then let herself inside.
"Hello, beautiful." His smooth voice carried over to her. If he was surprised to see her, he didn't show it. Thankfully he still hadn't removed his pants for the night.
"I decided I didn't want to wait until my next rest day to see you."
Isaak let loose a cocky smile. He slid just a little to make more room on the bed.
Kasia kicked off her boots and crawled into bed with him. He caressed the front of her neck and pulled her in for a kiss.
Isaak fell back into the bed and pulled Kasia with him. She lay on top of him as his tongue swirled with powerful grace in her mouth.
His hands grabbed her waist and pulled her as close as he could. Then he began to caress her, slowly pulling the hem of her shirt. His fingertips grazed her skin.
"Mmm." His low voice reverberated in her chest.
Kasia bit her lip, knowing what he was doing. She continued to kiss him, deciding to play ‘dumb’ as her tunic slid higher and higher. When it reached her breasts, she sat up. She wanted to see his face the moment he saw her bare for him for the first time.
She lifted her arms, giving him permission to unveil her.
"Oh?" He seemed pleasantly surprised at her reaction.
He let the hem of her tunic remain at the base of her breasts as he ran his hands along her stomach.
"Beautiful." He whispered.
Then he slid his fingers up, underneath her tunic, and lifted her tunic over her arms and head.
She watched, with satisfaction, him stop breathing as he stared transfixed at her chest.
“Your skin is flawless.” He trailed a gentle finger down the side of her breast. “It feels like marble. And these? Absolutely stunning.”
Kasia memorized the look on his face, the reverence in his eyes as he gazed at her. That’s how she wanted to be looked at for the rest of her life. She didn’t think Wojciek had ever looked at her beauty with anything other than greed to possess it. Isaak didn’t look that way. He looked like he felt privileged that she had shared her beauty with him.
After letting him gaze at her for a time, she took his hand and slowly brought it up to cup her breast. “I want you to touch me.”
Isaak squeezed tightly as he massaged her breast in his hand. He brought his other hand up and brought her breasts together in front of her. "You are… I have no words."
Kasia didn’t think she had ever been made to feel more beautiful.
Suddenly he stopped. Carrying her slight weight with ease, he sat up and slid the two of them back until he sat against the wall. "Turn around." He whispered.
Kasia obeyed, curious about what he wanted to do.
Isaak guided her body so that she was sat between his legs. He leaned her back against him. Their bodies touched for the first time, skin to skin. He slid his hands slowly around from her back to her front, enjoying every inch that they touched. His lips touched her neck. His hot breath slid along her skin as he kissed her.
A moan escaped Kasia's lips. His body was warm. His hands were rough and calloused, but all of his touches were gentle. He coaxed pleasure from her body instead of demanding it as Louis had done. She leaned back into him, covering his hands with her own, participating in his exploration and admiration of her body. She trembled with desire and spun back around to face him.
"Oh!" She said as they pressed chest to chest. The feeling of being touched this way, no barriers between them, heart to heart, was overwhelming. Suddenly, what Sondra had said about feeling more whole than she ever had before made sense.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself to him as tightly as possible. She'd never felt like this before. A small part in the back of her head wondered if anyone could ever make her feel this way again. She pushed the voice away. Isaak's reminder to stop thinking so much about the future replaced it instead.
They were here, together, right now. And this was the only place she wanted to be.
Kasia woke with the dawn, held safely in Isaak's arms. As much as she wanted to linger, she needed to get back. The brighter it got, the harder it would be to sneak back into the castle.
She kissed Isaak tenderly, then ran the two miles back through the secret passage, exiting into the castle. She waited until the coast was clear, then hurried to the Cantina for breakfast.
Janine and Andrew came in not long after and Janine had the biggest grin on her face. "Looks like you made it back without being caught. How was it?"
"It was the best… I can't remember the last time I felt this happy. I can't wait to see him again!"
Janine squeezed her hand, delighted, then left to get her tray.
“So you…you did it, then?” Andrew asked. Kasia could hear the hint of disapproval he was trying to hide.
“Had sex? No! Of course not!” Kasia shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “We just kissed and cuddled.”
“Oh!” Andrew brightened considerably, “That does sound nice.”
They sat there awkwardly for a few minutes until Janine returned with a tray for herself and Andrew.
“So, what does he look like naked?” Janine asked, stirring her porridge.
Andrew began to choke, throwing Janine a look of betrayal.
“Like he was molded by the creator himself…. Perfect in every way.” Kasia sighed dreamily while Janine let out her own appreciative hum. Andrew angrily got up and stalked off with his bowl to go eat by himself at another table. Kasia and Janine looked at each other then picked up their trays and followed him. They boxed him in on either side so he couldn’t escape.
“Don’t be angry, honey. I’m giving Kasia a chance to share with us. I still think you are the most handsome, strong, perfect man ever!” Janine nuzzled Andrew. She then whispered something in his ear that Kasia couldn’t hear. Andrew’s cheeks turned pink, and he looked markedly happier.
“So, he’s a real stud you say?” Andrew forced out. Kasia and Janine laughed and hugged him from either side.
Training with the Lieutenant General was as intense as ever. Kasia didn’t think she was ever going to get used to the new rigorous routine. Her body, aching, seemed to agree with her. They’d run the obstacle course ten times in full armor and Kasia felt ready to vomit. Janine already had.
“Maybe I’ll quit.” she grunted as she expelled more fluid. “I just want to marry Andrew. Why? Why am I doing this?”
“To spend time with us?” Kasia suggested hopefully. But she absolutely understood why Janine wanted to quit.
“Because you don’t want to muck the stables, darn clothing, or cook food for the knights instead?” Andrew offered, holding her hair back as she groaned.
She pointed at Andrew, her eyes squinted shut, “That. That’s the one. Ugh.” She moaned in pain.
Harold approached them, undoubtedly to tell Kasia it was time for extra training. Kasia shook her head when she saw him. “No.”
“Are you my training partner or a quitter?” Harold huffed, “If you can’t take training with me, then you’re not cut out to be a knight. Quit now.”
Kasia couldn’t help but laugh, “You won’t think I’m cut out to be a knight either way. I told you last night, I’m done with you.”
Andrew and Janine exchanged a curious look.
“So I’m right? Things get hard and little Red just quits? Of course she does. You’re only here because of your Ojciec.” Harold turned and began to walk away.
Kasia rolled her eyes and walked to the cantina with her friends.
“Gotta say… I’m kinda surprised. You were so determined to train with him before.” Janine said softly.
“Yeah, well, last night he said it didn’t matter how many times I beat him, or even if I was better than him, he would never acknowledge my skill or hard work because I don’t have a dick. So I’m done.”
“That’s what you were talking about when you gave that little speech about wasting your time on things that don’t make you happy!” Janine said with sudden understanding.
Kasia nodded. She went and enjoyed dinner with her friends in the cantina, and decided to go to bed early. She was exhausted from training and sneaking out the night before…
Harold on the other hand stayed busy. He ate a quick and small dinner and immediately went to training. He’d beat Kasia. He’d make her see that she needed to train with him.
The days passed with agonizing slowness for Kasia. All she could think about was seeing Isaak again. When it was the day before rest day, Kasia was giddy with excitement and everyone could see it.
“If I didn’t know better, Kasia, I’d say you were in love.” Janine smiled coyly at dinner that night.
Kasia looked rather enamored at the idea. “Love? I don’t know, I’ve never been in love before. I don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like.”
“Trust me- when you are in love, you’ll know.” Janine rubbed Kasia’s shoulder. “But he’s leaving. I’m glad you’re happy and having fun, but you need to guard your heart a bit better.”
“I’ve decided I don’t care if he’s leaving. I’ll make him stay. Or I’ll follow him. I’m not going to let him have all the say in whether or not we’re together. I’m going to fight for him.”
Janine’s eyes widened, “Oh shit. I think you are in love… fuck. Andrew, I think we need to get to know this guy better.”
“Kasia, he’s so old!” Andrew complained, but he wore a smile on his face. He was a romantic at heart.
Kasia groaned, “I know… but, if I found someone who I want to be with and who makes me happy…why would I keep looking? I might be old by the time I find someone again, if I ever do.”
Janine cleared her throat, “Well, if that’s the case… we need to take you to see Sondra so you can get on birth control, just in case you do decide to go all the way.”
Kasia smiled, “Sondra already spoke to me the last time I visited. Gave me a jar of tea.”
Janine looked surprised, “Well, good for her! Has she told you about the other ways to avoid pregnancy?”
Kasia looked confused again. There was more? “Uh, other than the tea? No.”
Janine chuckled, “You—ah—you should have that talk with her.”
“Why don’t you tell me?” Kasia raised an eyebrow.
Janine’s grin turned impish, “You want me to tell you about how I drink Andrew’s seed straight from his cock with my mouth, Kasia?”
Kasia went pale, her mouth dropping open in horror as she tried to stop her mind from conjuring images of her best friends naked together. “You’re right! I’ll talk to Sondra!” she glanced at Andrew and then found she couldn’t even look at him– all she could think about was what it must look like for him to put his—in Janine's mouth?! “Noooo!”
Kasia clapped her hands over her eyes--but the images were in her own mind! There was no escape!
Janine began to laugh hysterically. “I did warn you.”
Andrew laughed. “How are you picturing me? You made me very impressive, right?” He teased Kasia about whatever it was that she was likely imagining.
Kasia wailed in horror as she covered her eyes, “Your white ass is pasty as fuck! You need to get more sun!”
He chuckled, “Oh! That sounds nice. A day at the beach my love?” He held his arm out to Janine.
“That does sound perfect!” Janine crooned, “I can’t wait to nibble on your pale, pasty ass!” she giggled as Kasia began stomping her feet screaming, ‘No! No! No!’ over and over.
“You’ll invite your Isaak, of course?” Janine asked, which seemed to help calm Kasia down.
“Yeah…” Kasia whimpered, “That does sound fun. I’m planning on spending tonight with him, so I’ll meet you guys at the beach in the morning.”
Janine’s eyes lit with mischief, “Who are you and what have you done with my Kasia? Then again, don’t answer that– I’m really enjoying this new one.”
Kasia kicked Janine under the table, setting off another round of laughter.
“They’ll know that you were out all night if you’re not here in the morning.” Andrew gently reminded her.
“How? Tomorrow is rest day. They don’t do bed checks and I sleep through breakfast a lot… oh…but the babysitter. Dammit, I forgot about that. Ugh! If it weren’t for that I could spend all night with him, sleep in, and have breakfast with you guys at Sondra’s inn…” Kasia sulked. “I guess I’ll sneak back before dawn so I can walk down with you guys.” Mother fucker. Why couldn’t her father only assign babysitters on the week of the full moon? It’s not like they were in danger the rest of the month!
Janine chuckled at her friend’s mental aerobics. “Well, with Dorota gone and Kasia gone… the entire women’s barracks will be empty… what ever shall we do?” she batted her eyes at Andrew.
Andrew stood up abruptly, grabbing Janine’s hand and pulling her toward the exit. “Have fun Kasia. See you in the morning!”
Kasia laughed, cleaned up their trays, and snuck through the secret tunnels to visit her woodsman…
Kasia entered the inn, waved briefly at Sondra and headed straight up the stairs to Isaak’s room. She didn’t knock this time and just let herself in. Her face was spread in a wide smile that evaporated the moment she saw that the room was empty.
How is the pacing going? Do you feel like the plot is progressing or too much filler?
