Chapter 4: The morning brew.

  Bang bang bang. “Open up Is! I know you are there. You haven’t left your cave in a decade at least.” She yelled. Bang bang bang. “Don’t make me start singing Is, because you know I will.” Bang bang bang. “You have till the count of three, Is I am not playing with you!” Bang bang bang. She cleared her throat. “There once was a god named Is, he looked to the sky and jizzed.” She sang badly and off key. The Iron door blocking the cave creaked open. As soon as it was wide enough, the green Goddess walked in like she owned the place, her attitude completely changed. She hummed sweetly and smiled happily as she danced on her bare feet over to a couch in the center of the cave. The door slammed shut behind her.

  She could hear foot steps above her heading to the staircase. She kept giggling and humming to herself as she looked at her finger nails. She magically changed the color of the tips to see which one she liked. A pair of legs came down the stairs wearing pajama pants covered in crap emojis and banana shaped house slippers. A very muscular clawed hand grabbed the rail for balance as the eight foot tall orc with a white tank top made his way down the stairs. He was rubbing his eyes with the back of his other hand while holding a pair of glasses.

  Once he made it to the bottom of the stairs he put his glasses back on and looked around. The stairs let out right into a kitchen so he opened the first cabinet and pulled down a giant coffee mug. The mug had a quote, “I drink and I know things.” The orc sat it down on the counter and snapped his finger. The mug filled up to the top with coffee. The orc took it and walked into the living room. He looked over at the humming girl and sighed. He sat down into a recliner chair that appeared under him. He took a sip of his coffee and smiled.

  “Good morning, little sis. What special event has unfolded that I find myself graced with your presence this ‘early’ morning.” The orc said.

  “Well I just met the most interesting person in the entire world. AND! I think he likes me. Now, I may or may not have a bit of a crush on him. But I need info, on him, like yesterday. So, whatcha got?” She enthusiastically screamed at him.

  “You know sis, I do sleep from time to time. I also don’t know everything all the time, no matter what my worshipers may say.” The Orc said taking another sip of his coffee. “Besides, you didn’t even tell me his name.” He sat his mug of an end table that appeared to his side, next to a plate of donuts.

  “Well, how do you know he is a he if you don’t know everything?” She mocked

  “You just told me the person was a he.” He sighed.

  “Touche, bro, touche…” They both heard a crunch at the kitchen table. So they turned to look. Viral was sitting at the table, eating a sleeping mandrake.

  Viral spoke between bites. “His name is Cam. He is a good dude. Would you believe he gave me this sleeping mandrake. He didn’t even ask for anything in return.” Viral went back to eating.

  “You met Cam, really? When?” The girl jumped off the couch in shock.

  “Right now, he just told me his name. He also promised to give me another mandrake when he can. Isn’t that awesome.” Viral kept eating.

  This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

  The orc leaned forward with his donut in hand, “But how did he pick up a sleeping mandrake, they normally pop up screaming?” The orc finally seeming interested in the conversation, he took a bite.

  “That was probably my fault.” She said with a guilty look on her face. “I kind of put everything to sleep between the town he was in and the city I sent him to. I didn’t think he would have made it on his own. The poor guy doesn’t have any powers as far as I can see. Besides” she blushed, “he said I was prettier than poison ivy.” She grabbed her cheeks.

  Viral and Is looked at her as if she was crazy. “The plant?” Viral asked.

  “What exactly did he say?” The orc asked.

  “He said I kind of look like Poison Ivy from the batman comic, but I look younger and prettier.” She gasped out as she spun in arcing circles between the couch and the chair the orc sat in. Is had to lean back to take another sip of his coffee, so one of her flailing arm wouldn’t knock it out of his hand.

  The orc sighed put his empty cup down. “No, not the plant Viral. He is a human from earth, look here.” The orc spun his chair around as it turned into a computer chair and it faced a computer desk with a large curved display that wasn’t there a second before. The orc clicked a few times with a mouse and began typing on a keyboard. A few more clicks of a mouse and, “See, this is poison Ivy.”

  Viral squeezed in close, “wow, she is really pretty, and so mature. No wonder he said you look younger.”

  “What are you trying to say, Viral, that I am not mature enough!” She bumped him with her shoulder.

  “Ah, no, ah anyways, how do you know he likes you?” Viral said changing the subject.

  “Well ok,” She put her hands up to paint a picture, “I told him to look in my eyes and tell me my name.”

  They both nodded, ‘makes sense’ they thought

  “He told me he didn’t see a name he saw forever, then he asked me if I was lonely.”

  “Damn, that’s deep.” The orc said.

  ---

  Cam sat in the dinner, at a corner booth sipping his coffee between bites of potatoes and eggs. Apparently this city had never heard of pancakes, that would change if Cam had anything to do with it. But for now this would do. Cam looked into his ring going over book titles. One book stood out, “various alchemy components and how to find them: volume: 1” He pulled it out and began reading it. The list was in alphabetical order complete with a drawn image and a description of common growth patterns and basic usage for at least 3 types of potions and if applicable 2 types of poisons. He noticed a common theme that antidotes were one poison ingredient with a neutralizer and a curative ingredient distilled. To keep his nerves calm he took a sip every time he heard the drums sound increasing his alchemy skill by another point. He had finished three cups of coffee by the time he put the book away.

  Cam got up to stretch, even with all the coffee he was getting tired. Before he could take a step he felt a could chill run over his body. He shivered and shook it away, “I guess, I should take a piss before I head out.” On his way to the bathroom he heard a chime, not too different from one you would hear getting a text message. He ignored it and kept moving on his way to the toilets. He had to hurry to the adventures guild.

  Soon, Cam found himself outside of a modern looking building. It had glass windows on either side of the door and the blinds were still pulled down and closed tight. The door also, had a window, with embossed lettering in gold and black print. “Adventurer’s guild” was boldly printed across. If Cam was quite honest with himself it looked more like the entrance to a lawyers office, or one of those small medical clinics people went to instead if an emergency room. Cam tried the door knob. It was locked. He looked at the window to his left that had the day a time schedule printed clearly. If he was reading it correctly they should have been open an hour ago, so, he knocked.

  The door swung open fast, but stopped abruptly at a 90 degree angle. No one was standing on the other side of the door, So Cam walked in carefully taking in the room. There was a small desk to his right facing the door just a few feet into office. There were a stack if papers in the corner on the desk leaning on to the wall, an empty basket for papers just next to it. There was a small chain attached to the desk hanging over the side closest to Cam, at the end dangled a pen. The left side of the desk had a service bell. Cam walked closer to ring it. The door behind him slammed shut as soon as he cleared the swing radius. The sound from the door slamming gave him pause, it was unnaturally loud. The force of the slam was so hard the air pressure in the room had a sudden and violent shift causing his ears to hurt.

  With to door closed Cam could see the rest of the room. Under the windows to either side sat a pair of matching couches they were big and comfy looking with a deep blue color offset by the white flower pattern. The floor was a black and white checkered pattern like the one at the barber shop Cam went to regularly in his old world. Somehow seeing it made him smell shaving cream. He pushed the thought away and rang the bell. “One minute!” he heard from the back in a rough high pitched voice. It could have been a man or a woman. Cam noticed a quest board on the wall and went to look at it. There were six notices up, they were all blank. Cam shook his head and sat down on a couch. It didn’t take him long to lay his head on the arm rest and fall fast asleep.