“Hm hm be do, hm-hm buh be doh! Bah bah-bah be-buh-doh, buh buh be doh!”
As we make our way down the street from the butcher, I can’t help but smile fondly as Koa begins spontaneously humming once again.
I’m surprised she hasn’t asked—
“Oooo! What’s that, Father?”
And there it is.
“Child, could we not start this inane game of back and forth? It was bad enough having to endure it yesterday.”
Delilah’s, honestly quite mean, statement is sent along with a mental scowl through our shared connection, clearly finding Koa’s questions to be… distasteful, to say the least.
“I just wanted to know…”
Koa seems to nearly be in tears, sending waves of sadness through our bond. This only aggravates the cat even more, as she sends a scoff across the link between the three of us.
“Delilah! Don’t be rude!”
My admonishment most likely falls upon deaf ears, if her past attitude is anything to go by, so I switch gears to the other side of the conversation. I go with my tried and true damage control method, hoping the classics still work.
“That, dearest dagger, is a potion. It’s what we were talking about yesterday. We’re actually going in there right now. That’s where the alchemist I know works. I just need to sell my hoglin teeth, then we’ll be on our way to hunt more of them outside of the city! Are you ready, my lovely little lady?”
My go-to way to calm either of my companions seems to always be flattery, but hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Of course, the main issue is that a certain feline gets jealous just about every time I spend any of my attention on, well, anybody else.
“Human! Do not encourage the dagger! We’ll never get a moment of quiet if it thinks it’s okay to constantly ask questions!”
Delilah’s mental shout comes out in a hiss, which she replicates aloud, back arching, fur standing on end.
“It is okay for her to constantly ask questions. Koa, feel free to ask anything you want to, whenever you feel like it.”
“Yay! Yay-yay-yay! Thank you, Father! Take that, Meany Meowy!”
Koa’s excited statement is punctuated by her sticking out her metaphorical tongue at the cat, to which Delilah hisses, half-heartedly this time, as she finds a spot to lie down before sending an indignant response.
“I will wait out here, as I’m not as good as that thing in your box and can’t enter any shops with you! Hmph!”
“Well, you could come inside if you want to, I doubt Sam or Aeldwen would care. You probably wouldn’t like the smell, though.”
My response seems reasonable to me, but Delilah’s still doesn’t surprise me as her jealousy is in full force.
“I. said. I will wait. out here. Now, begone from my presence, Human, in which I refuse to allow you to bask any further.”
I roll my eyes. Not my mental ones, as I don’t want to add fuel to her already blazing fire, and enter the alchemist’s shop. I’m immediately greeted by Sam, the go’ari clerk who smiles professionally as they stand behind the counter. This time they aren’t in their human form, instead choosing to be a weaslaxi like their boss, just with swirling eyes that shift through every color known to the sapient races, and matching fur.
“Hello, sir. Welcome back to Aeldwen’s Alchemical Concoctions! Do you have another package for Master Phogul?”
Rather than the rasp of regular weaslaxi, their voice sounds as fluid as it had been before. I smile back at them, with a tad more warmth than they express with their own, but that’s to be expected.
I have to remember, go’ari fall into two groups. Those who express emotions wildly, and those who don’t outwardly show them at all. Sam must fall into the latter category, so I can’t fault them for their nature.
“Hey, Sam! No package this time. I’m actually here to sell some hoglin teeth. Is Aeldwen around? I’d like to say hello, if I can.”
“I apologize, sir. Master Phogul is indisposed at the moment. I could take a message if you’d like to leave one.”
My disappointment shows with a small frown as I give their offer some consideration. I decide that it’s not important enough, so I say as much to the go’ari clerk, moving on to the reason I’m here.
“No, that’s okay. What could you give me for 52 hoglin teeth?”
“A full set, sir? I could offer you one tin and nine bronze rings for them. Is that agreeable?”
I honestly didn’t even know that this was a full set. Hm, guess you learn something new every day.
“Could you buy them for an even two tin?”
“Ah, a haggler I see. Alas, I can only pay you one tin and nine bronze. That’s as high as I can go. Master Phogul has instructed me that should you return, I’m to give you some leeway on both buying and selling items. The standard rate for a full set of hoglin teeth is one and three quarters tin, so believe me when I tell you that a tin ring and nine bronze is a better deal than you’ll get anywhere else in the city, sir. If you must have more, feel free to take the four copper rings from the change cup.”
The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.
“Fair enough. I guess that’s settled, then. I appreciate it, Sam.”
“I’m only doing as I was told, sir, nothing more. There is no need for you to thank me.”
Throughout this entire conversation, Sam’s professional tone has been admirably consistent. Go’ari or not, I give credit where credit is due.
“Either way, I appreciate it. That amount actually suits my needs perfectly, so this works out in my favor twofold.”
As I say this, I summon Inventory C, pulling out the only remaining items one at a time, careful not to stab myself with the extremely sharp points of the inch long teeth.
“That’s very nice, sir. Here is your payment, as promised. Also, if I may be so forward, we also purchase hoglin warts if you’re hunting the beasts.”
“Oh, okay. Yeah, I can bring those to you guys from now on.”
I take the proffered ring string, idly noting that it’s not as fine as the one Aeldwen had given me.
That actually makes a lot of sense. Wouldn’t be feasible to hand out fancy cords to every customer.
I do, however, choose to ignore the four copper in the cup.
I’m not that stingy!
“See you later!”
Rather than affix the string to the twine beneath my arm, I simply hold it as I go to exit the building. Suddenly, I’m struck by an idea, caused by Koa’s curious questions yesterday. I turn back to the counter, deciding to ask.
“Actually, Sam, I’d also like to buy something if you have it.”
“What would you like, Sir? If it’s available, I’ll be happy to sell it to you.”
I wonder if Sam would actually be happy inside or if they’re only saying that because it’s their job…
“I’m thinking about harvesting some of the plants while I’m out in the wilderness, so I was wondering if you have a book on what to look for and how to do that properly.”
My question is met with a single, small nod from the go’ari.
“Of course, Sir. We have just the thing you’re looking for.”
After saying this, he reaches below the counter, pulling out a large book with a picture of a flower and a mushroom side by side on its cover.
“This tome will cost you one iron ring.”
A whole iron?!
“Is there— ahem— is there a reason for this price for a simple book?”
“This is not a simple book, Sir. It has a simple yet effective enchantment that allows it to immediately open to the flora you are observing.”
“Oh! That’s actually incredibly useful! Give me a moment. Will nine tin and ten bronze work?”
As I ask the last, I’m already summoning Inventory A.
“Of course, Sir. That is the same value, after all.”
After my magic string appears, I slide all of my remaining rings off of the end without the bead that prevents the currency from falling of their own volition. I hesitantly set the cord I’d just been given on the counter beside the small pile of tin and bronze.
Maybe taking the four copper isn’t such a bad idea after all…
As I think this, I pour the copper from the cup into my hand and slide them onto my cord without trying to be sneaky about it in the slightest. That would be really hard to pull off unnoticed. With no expression to indicate his thoughts in any direction, the go’ari doesn’t comment on my actions at all as he simply hands me the book.
“Here you are, Sir.”
“Thanks, Sam!”
I’ll just pretend that never happened…
I place the book in my box as I turn around, walking away from the counter. As I go to exit the building, Sam calls out to me.
Shit…
“Sir, you’ve forgotten your strange crate.”
“That’s fine, Sam. It’ll come with me either way. Have a good day!”
No sooner than I’ve stepped out of the door, my box disappears. Rather than dismiss Inventory A, I hold onto it for a bit.
I wish I could change the names of my inventories, that would make remembering which is which so much easier. I think I saw something like that in the utility branch of my skill tree. I’ll have to check up on that later, it’s not an urgent matter. For now, I have a test I want to do.
I decide to try something that probably won’t help my most likely growing reputation as a madman and throw the cord as hard as I can in front of me, where it promptly passes through a pedestrian’s face, scaring the daylight out of him. His hands reach up and feel his head, most likely to check for any damage. Finding none, he shoots me a withering glare and speeds off at a faster pace than he’d been moving before.
Oops! Luckily nobody else saw that… It made it about ten feet, probably exactly ten. So, that’s the distance at which it disappears…
“That person in the store was very colorful, Father!”
Koa, apparently too distracted to notice my antics, says the one thing that’s on her mind, probably the very thing that caused her to miss my… test. To which I’m grateful as I respond like nothing happened at all.
What Koa doesn’t know won’t hurt her!
“They’re a go’ari. They can take different forms, but certain things they can’t change. Namely, their eyes and their hair, or fur in this case.”
“Now you’re explaining things without being questioned about them, Human? That’s called enabling, and I’ll not stand for it.”
Once again at my side, Delilah still seems miffed about Koa’s lack of basic knowledge.
“It’s not enabling, Delilah. It’s called explaining, and I’m happy to do so.”
“You should just send all of your knowledge to her in one package. You deliver enough of those that this should come naturally to you, Human. I’m tired of this constant questioning.”
Delilah’s statement causes no small amount of confusion for me.
“Um… I can do that?”
“Of course you can, have I not explained this to you already?”
Delilah rolls her eyes in my mind, though I just stare at her dumbly.
“No. No you have not.”
“Oh… Well… You… you should have assumed as much, Human! You send everything through our connection already, including sharing your senses. Though once again, I must caution you that there are certain memories that you should not relay to her. Namely, anything that could be deemed inappropriate.”
While I do feel a tiny twinge of embarrassment deep down coming from her, the cat covers it carefully with false scorn as she somehow manages to turn this back around to being my fault.
I do wonder more and more why I put up with this crazy creature. How is this even remotely my fault?!
That thought out of the way, I try to do as she recommended, finding it incredibly simple. So I send over all the pertinent knowledge I have, only keeping information about the male anatomy, and the actions that come with it, out of the bundle of facts. I only belatedly realize that I probably shouldn’t have shared my life story with Koa, mainly due to the sense of sadness that she sends my way.
“I’m so sorry that you’ve suffered so much, Father... Nobody should have to go through the things that you experienced…”
She relays warmth and love through our bond, which is the most reassurance that I’ve had… ever. I feel a tear begin to form, but I stoically don’t allow it to fall.
“I should be the one apologizing to you, Koa. You shouldn’t have had to see that. I never should have shown it to you. I didn’t think before giving you my memories, so I’m sorry.”
“I’m glad you did, Father. Now I can understand you better, and that’s important. But hey! We get to go take out some of our pent up aggression on a hoglin today, so there’s that!”
She tries to make me feel better, but I can tell that she’s still disheartened.
Hopefully the hoglin does make us feel better… I’m glad there’s a new optimist with me, though. Brick probably would have gotten along with her really well.
I keep that thought within as I outwardly project confidence to my faithful dagger-daughter.
“You’re right, Koa! Let’s go do that, then!”
With that projection out of the way, I have one last thought. One that I keep to myself.
Thank you…
What do you think Delilah would want for the holidays?
