“Where is it… where is it…” Jerri muttered to himself as he tried to find something in his mess of a tent.

  “Aha! Finally alright.” Jerri exclaimed as he grabbed a pouch of gems before coughing awkwardly.

  Jerri adjusted his cloak before he gathered the required equipment for the translocation spell, turning around and leaving his small tent.

  In his right hand he had large maps of Regaila’s three realms, the Earthly, the Demonic and Heavenly realms respectively. In his other was the pouch of gem stones that would act as the catalyst for this spell.

  “Behold! I have gathered the ancient materia that will-”

  “Sorry but we’re in a hurry. You can cut the theatrics.” Taro interrupted firmly, a chicken clucking as it walked past him.

  “A-ah yes… sorry.” Jerri sighed, he wasn’t used to handling celebrities like Taro. Glancing over to his blue-skinned companion who was picking his nose and blankly staring at the various occultic items Jerri had displayed in his home.

  “Would the master or his guests like anything?” A Dogkin maid asked cheerfully as she casually sauntered into Jerri's study, dodging the several chickens that were wandering the study.

  “N-no thanks I’m good… You guys?” Jerri sighed as he removed his cloak, it was hard to be a mysterious soothsayer when the man you’d gotten very drunk with the night before barged into your mansion unannounced.

  Jerri hadn’t even told him his address.

  “Something strong, maybe even poisonous… Purple’s venom stung good if y’know what I’m saying?” Zach smirked as the maid let out a confused laugh as she walked behind her master.

  “I’ll see what we have… and Master Yvonnyson?” The maid asked as she adjusted Jerri’s collar and his hood.

  “Just tea, thanks. And don’t get him any poison please.” Taro requested boredly, the maid leaving soon after.

  “Buzzkill.” Zach huffed as he looked towards a chicken pecking at an odd wooden mask.

  “Ahem. Shall we begin then gentlemen?” Jerri asked as he placed the three large maps on the floor, keeping them from unfurling with whatever heavy junk he had lying around.

  “Are you sure you’re qualified for this?” Taro asked suspiciously.

  “Of course I am! I’m a Bouxbon don’t you know! We have elven blood in our veins!” Jerri declared proudly as he struggled to keep the map laying flat.

  “Yeah… Elves famously have perfectly healthy children with humans.” Taro retorted sarcastically. Jerri coughed as he sat up, sitting cross legged.

  “Regardless, I have studied with Vespucian teachers and in the Porus Academy of Magic. You’re not going to find anyone more qualified in Helvetia… Okay at least in Furinch.” Jerri explained defensively. Taro scoffed.

  “Fine, get on with it.” Taro grumbled as he sat down on his knees, putting his hand out expectantly.

  “What are you doing exactly?” Zach asked as he joined the two men on the floor, sitting with his legs outstretched while leaning back.

  “That’s right this is your first time, how about as a sign of good faith I’ll do a trial with your friend over here?” Jerri offered sincerely.

  “Hmm, not a bad idea actually.” Taro replied as he stroked his chin.

  “The Demon Lord’s body is probably masked by the same kind of magic as the Demon Army’s Dungeons. If this kid can locate Zach on this map then it should work for everyone else…” Taro pondered as Jerri grabbed a small purple gemstone and handed it over.

  “Alright so the way Soothsaying works is pretty simple. We take memories, feelings or anything else like that and use magic to amplify them and find the truth. So for this translocation spell, basically we’re going to have Cedrick say what he thinks about you and then perform a sacrifice to-”

  “Sacrifice?” Zach asked suddenly.

  “Oh don’t worry, I’ve gotten it down to just using a chicken as well as some mana crystals to make up for the spiritual deficiency!" Jerri explained cheerfully.

  “Right…” Zach frowned, he was hardly a vegetarian, far from it, but he couldn’t imagine these chickens were about to befall a humane fate.

  “Anyway Cedrick, whenever you’re ready, I’ll be-” Jerri stood up and grabbed a nearby chook by the legs.

  “- Preparing this guy for the first spell.” Jerri explained as he returned to his tent, Zach noting the blood stains on its carpet.

  “Is all Vespucian magic this bloody?” Zach whispered.

  “Yes.” Taro replied coldly.

  “Good to know…” Zach grimaced as he heard the chicken cluck desperately before having a blade inserted into its chest. Jerri emerged with his hands covered in blood.

  “Quickly before it dries out on me.” Jerri urged as he sat down, holding his hands out as they dripped with blood.

  “Zach is a… fool, naive, lazy, apathetic, funny and unfortunately my only ally.” Taro announced at the stone before handing it to Jerri, who mumbled a curse while painting the stone with blood.

  “Charming.” Zach mumbled.

  “The more honest you are with how you feel about the person, the better it works.” Taro apologised as Jerri finished painting the stone and placing it on the floor.

  Once he placed it on the ground, nothing happened.

  Another breath.

  Still nothing.

  Jerri began to panic as Taro looked up disappointedly at the Soothsayer.

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  “It’s never taken this long before, oh no did I do something wrong? He did say it’d involve Dungeons but I could’ve faked that… Is that blue guy a high level mage or something?!” Jerri panicked and just before he said anything the rock suddenly flung over to Furinch before settling just outside of Porus, exactly where they were.

  Jerri let out an audible sigh.

  “Something the matter?” Taro asked suspiciously.

  “N-no not at all!” Jerri lied.

  “I have no idea how I did that.” Jerri thought as he awkwardly grabbed a green stone. While all this was happening, Hitop was staring from behind a mask a chicken was pecking at.

  “It’d be a shame if the game ended now, I better help out this kid so we can continue a little while longer.” Hitop thought, his ominous presence masked by the various cursed artefacts in Jerri’s collection.

  “I-I take it you trust my abilities?” Jerri asked nervously.

  “You’re the best we have right now.” Taro sighed as he snatched the stone from Jerri’s hand.

  “Everyone says how friendly the hero is… what a load of crock this guy is an absolute ass.” Jerri thought as he grabbed another chicken.

  “Alright… Yin. Young, shy, worried, smart, curious… cute.” Taro declared at the stone, hesitating on the final thought that came to his head about Yin.

  “Hmm, the Tsundere of the harem I take it?” Zach asked with a smirk, which Taro responded to with nothing but a withering glare. Jerri returned with blood on his hands much the same as before, the stone not reacting until Hitop moved it himself to the correct location.

  Yin was located in a dungeon just in Rurono, a kingdom bordering Furinch to the south.

  Now the three men were in a routine as Jerri handed Taro the next stone and grabbed the next chicken.

  “Thorn. Aggressive, proud, malicious, fast, needy.” Taro asserted to the stone.

  “Yandere, gotta be.” Zach declared confidently.

  The stone rushed to the Gole desert in Wonga, far south of Helvetia, let alone the kingdom of Furinch.

  “Valykerina. Strong, violent, powerful, honourable, caring, emotional.” Taro grumbled to the stone.

  “Toughie, let’s go with the paladin of the group.” Zach shrugged non-committally.

  The stone zoomed to the island of Cuaro off the continent of Vespucia, a massive ocean cutting it off from Helvetia and Wonga .

  “Kiko. Crazy, smart, passionate, strange, ethereal.” Taro cautiously said to the stone.

  “She’s gonna be the NEET of the harem I bet.” Zach smirked.

  The stone flew to Xiaoyu, in the middle of Demon Army territory, far east of the Dwarven mountains that separated the continents of Helvetia and Xiaoyu.

  “Noon. Angry, breasts, Church, breasts, blonde, angry.” Taro admitted to the stone.

  “Fuckin ay mate, she’s got two breasts and two angry. She’s the proper misses of the group I hope!” Zach laughed, genuinely caught off guard by the description the now bright red Taro gave.

  “It works better… if you’re honest… with what you think about someone…” Taro said through gritted teeth as the stone slowly worbled to the northern reaches of Vespucia, where the ice was ever present.

  “All I’m saying is, no wonder she’s angry if breasts and blonde make up her character description.” Zach teased as Taro hung his head in shame. Jerri gulped and quickly grabbed a smaller map and marked the destinations for the two.

  “I-I’ll take the payment for the materials now and let you guys go on your way.” Jerri asked nervously, wanting to get these two gone sooner rather than later.

  Taro snatched the small map and quickly worked out a route.

  “We can get to Yin in 3 days if we get some horses and a carriage. We’re taking the one I saw outside.” Taro declared as he stormed out of the study, pushing past the Beastkin maid who had just returned with the tea.

  “W-wait I’m still paying it off!” Jerri shouted, dropping the adamance coin he’d been given.

  “Remind me what we paid 1 Adamance coin for?” Taro asked, poking his head back out the doorway.

  “M-Materials…” Jerri gulped.

  “And what materials did you use?” Taro asked seriously.

  “Well the mana crystals were high quality!” Jerri retorted defensively.

  “And at most 50 gold coins, which is about half an Adamance coin at most. We’re using the other half to buy your carriage.” Taro declared before waltzing off.

  “Sorry he’s a little tight about money right now, I’d give you an extra coin but I’m not allowed to hold the wallet anymore.” Zach apologised as he got up, awkwardly ducking his head through the doorway as he followed Taro out. Jerri held his hand out before clutching his knees.

  “Aww, there there.” The Beastkin maid said sincerely as she patted her masters back.

  “I hate being poor… I wanna hire Elf maids.” Jerri grumbled, causing the Beastkin maid’s eyebrow to twitch as she quickly left him alone in his study.

  …

  Some time passed, with Jerri spending it cleaning up his study by himself. Finding that his supposedly loyal Beastkin maid had randomly left him.

  Looking out the window he saw his birthright, his land, being dismantled piece by piece.

  He was soon to be left with nothing, perhaps even being forced to sell his collection of exotic and occultic materials.

  Of course, in times like this, people like Jerri just needed a friend.

  “Isn’t that right?” Hitop asked, intruding on Jerri’s mental space. Though it was more my own mental space now.

  “W-what? Where am I?” Jerri asked as he looked around but failing to do so, he had no body let alone eyes to look around with now. Don’t describe it so harshly, I’ve got no body and I hardly complain.

  “Nowhere important. But you said you’d like an Elven maid right?” Hitop offered insincerely and dangerously. Oh shut your mouth you two bit narrator.

  “Y-yes?” Jerri asked cautiously. Too cautiously in my opinion, this was a place for him to relax.

  “Yeah… A place for me to relax.” Jerri said. That’s right Jerri, a place for you to relax.

  “A place to relax.”

  Good.

  Soon he will be my pawn.

  Unfortunately, that appears to be true. Oh such a poor boy of such little faith.

  …

  In the world of the living, no one found Jerri lying on the floor, the only signs of life being the occasional piece of spittal pooling from his mouth and a twitch.

  Hours later, he snapped up, his eyes tainted with a black crescent under his pupil. Hitop emerged from the poor man’s body as a floating ball of dark energy.

  “I’m glad we could come to an acceptable arrangement.” Hitop snickered.

  “Yes… Yes of course my master.” Jerri declared, his undying loyalty to Hitop being firmly implanted by the evil imp.

  Hitop looked up to the sky accusatorily.

  “Is something the matter master?” Jerri asked sincerely.

  “Urgh, that vile God’s voice is still ringing in my ears. I’ll never understand why you humans put yourself through that nonsense.” Hitop shrugged as he summoned his hat, gloves and shoes.

  “I apologise master, I swear to be rid of it.”

  “Of course you will, you’re my loyal subject now.” Hitop cackled as he opened a summoning portal.

  “Your Elven maid shall arrive once you achieve phase 0 of the plan.” Hitop declared as he jumped through the small portal.

  “Of course, it will prove simple with your blessings.” Jerri declared confidently, his head bursting with enough information to make a lesser man die.

  That lesser Jerri had long since died.