After all of these regular fights — two a day, four days a week, and then six days off — I've also made a point of going and visiting every doctor on the list that Maxi gave me. Each one was willing to take me in to discuss my problem, but none of them said they were capable enough with Ignia to make much meaningful headway.

  It's been continually disappointing, but Lilly has been devoting a fair amount of effort every day to preventing the damage on my wing reflecting onto my shade. But it's stopgap, I need to find someone capable of doing something with it. Eventually it'll become permanent… It would have already if not for Lilly, really.

  Maxi is working on finding something more specific now that what I need is more clear, but he said that it may wind up with me needing to go to the capitol — some enormous city built at the base of a "worldtree". It sounds very impressive, but I'm resistant because apparently it would be months of away time, in addition to whatever time I need to take just to heal. A month until the train leaves, nearly a month on it, and then the same length of time again. And that's assuming I can be fixed up immediately and catch the train back in a few weeks — if not I'll be waiting two full cycles for the return train or traveling overland for a few months or so alone on the road. The better part of a whole year, after I've only been out of the forest for not even two months.

  And I don't want to leave my friends for that long. It's just too much, really. But if there's no other option…

  Instead, to keep my mind off of it, I've been going around after my fights and just walking the city. It's been good for getting my head off of things. Not just my wing, even if that's a big part of it.

  The rest has just been being in the city. People have been nice, but it's all so crowded. The streets are shoulder to shoulder most hours of the day, which is especially inconvenient with my wing being the way it since I have to keep it tucked in at all times so nobody bumps it. The arena is always packed, even in the preparation rooms. Every skyglide I take inevitably fills up.

  It's just all so suffocating.

  Lilly keeps saying that I'm just not used to being around people — which is definitely true to some extent. But even at home it's not really private unless we close every single window — which isn't exactly any less suffocating. Otherwise I can always see people anytime that Khana is up. These later night walks are nice, but they just don't recharge me like evenings used to.

  A walk to the river, sitting and relaxing for a few hours while pretending to try to catch fish. My daily routine of caring for my little field that is surely now overgrown to the point that it'll have eaten the entire clearing and coated it in flowers. Sleeping when I wanted to — even when that sleep was troubled.

  That's a thought that sticks — I don't think I've had that nightmare since we split up before the fight with the monster. Beating that thing did something for me, mentally, I think. The monster in my dreams, when it does come up, doesn't seem unassailable. I face it as I am now — not how I was back then.

  I think it's because I'm always…different, maybe. Lilly is just as unique, but she blends in without making major changes — just hiding her wings, really. But everywhere I go I'm never not notable. I could always take on a glamor like Lilly… but I have to lose so much of myself in doing that it's not something I really like. My wings, my tail, my entire body of skin and scales, my horns, my hair. Taking on a glamor is me just trying to be someone else and if I'm not me then there's none of us left.

  I should probably talk to someone about that at some point…

  Maybe…maybe cities just aren't for me.

  I sit down on my favorite bench on this route. A bright red thing with a short back and a wide opening in the bottom so my wings and tail can sit comfortably. It sits at the edge of one of the countless unique parks around the city — this one being full of white-crystal flowers, trees that look like they belong more in a jungle than here in this veritable tundra of a nasty winter, and places to sit and eat. The luxlight streetlamps are casting nice, warm light everywhere, and the snow has mostly been cleared aside from what's come down this evening in light flurries. It's all very peaceful and idyllic. In its own way. Especially as the wind catches the flowers and they gently chime a nonsense song.

  Sitting here, though, with people walking by in singles, pairs, and groups is relaxing, and every now and again someone will stop by and want to talk about my fights, which I always welcome. I certainly won't turn someone away who is happy to see me. It gives me some fuel to push on some more.

  I sigh, some snow around me dissolving from my Breath spreading around me.

  I just hope Olly and Lilly can figure something out for him. We're planning to go see that scholar soon now that Lilly and Olly both have found work. We needed to stabilize before doing it, but with it so difficult to find things dense enough to satisfy that hunger of Ollys , it's becoming a more immediate concern. At least, in the hope that that person will know something and be able to help.

  Another sigh.

  "Hey, sorry to bother, but do you have a minute?" I reopen my eyes to see someone who feels vaguely familiar standing in front of me.

  She — I'm sure she's a she, I've been learning about these necklaces that a lot of people in Kharbon wear to communicate bits of their identity at a glance — is a very short, black-haired lapin — bunnyfolk, like Vari — as evidenced by the nearly foot-tall ears atop her head. She has flushed cheeks, clearly feeling the cold despite the warm-looking red longcoat she's wearing. Standing in front of me, I'm nearly as tall as her while sitting.

  It does give me a really nice look at her face, though, since we're basically eye to eye. She's got a fairly shapely face that's framed by straight black hair. Full cheeks; big, earnest eyes; and a bone structure that definitely lends itself to smiling. I feel…something as I look at her deep, green eyes, though. Something I don't really know how to put to words. A warm flutter of a kind.

  Overall she looks concerned, so I start to worry immediately — it wouldn't be the first time someone came running to me to handle a coalescing monster, after all. "Sure. Is everything alright?"

  "Can I sit?" She's got a soft voice overall. Fairly meek in tone, but spoken confidently with sure and precise word choice. Someone who gives the impression of not speaking until they're certain they know what they want to say, a bit like Lilly, maybe. But not for theatrics.

  "Go ahead, I don't own the bench." I gesture and blow some Ignia to clear it off — something that sees her eyes open wide with a smile.

  "Thanks, mighty nice of you, though the snow wouldn't really get through my jacket." She hesitates after sitting on my right and leaning back against the bench — something I can't really do, "I was curious about what happened to your wing." I wince internally, trying to keep it from my face.

  "I got wounded in a fight. There's not a lot to say, really." Plus thinking about the circumstances is pretty depressing overall, so I prefer to not say a lot.

  "Yeah, but I mean…why haven't you gotten it taken care of? Has it already become permanent? I saw you a few weeks back and it seems about the same."

  The admission reminds me exactly where I last saw her. She was with the group of those people who will want Olly dead. That "Order of the Eternal Vigil." She showed a lot of interest that day, staring at me pretty openly, too. It makes me throw up my walls immediately. So I try to be a bit more clipped.

  Nothing leads me to believe the people in the organization are bad people — but I don't have any reason to think that they wouldn't behave the way that other monster warned Olly about. Their job is to kill monsters, and Olly ticks too many of those boxes to be safe around them to me.

  "I've tried and am trying. Nobody has been able to help. It's not permanent yet, though. A friend has been helping prevent that. Why do you care?" The question is definitely a bit cold for me, but I can't really risk Olly getting found out about by these people.

  The response sees her perk up, looking at my wing more closely. "Why not? Anyone with basic life essence should be able to regrow a membrane like that. I could do it right now, even."

  I wave her off. "They tried. Everyone has so far. But I'm…different. My essential baseline is radically different. So there hasn't been anyone good enough with what I'm made of to really do anything — and the people capable enough with Ignia don't have the experience to work on something this complicated, apparently."

  Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

  Admitting it out loud make me a little more morose, so I just shrug and make to stand but she speaks up, "So…you you haven't found anyone to do it, right?"

  "Yeah." I turn back around to see her giving me a huge smile, brightening cheeks and a gleam in her eyes.

  It…uh…makes me stop thinking for a few moments such that I don't actually hear her response. "Sorry, can you repeat that? I…something came to mind and I lost focus."

  She pops to her feet moving in a bit closer. An assault on my focus. "I said 'I am the exact doctor you're looking for'. Aside my access to Victus, the majority of my affinity lies in Ignia — it's a major component of what I do. I can't promise that I can do it, but I will absolutely have a better chance than most. When are you free next? I'll make sure to open up my schedule whenever."

  "Depends on how late you work, but my next full free day is after the weekend, any day other than those when I have fights. What would work for you?"

  "How about you come in at noon, first day of next week? Do you have anything you can write on? I'll give you the address."

  "I don't, actually, I was just out for a walk so I didn't really bring anything…"

  She checks all of her pockets but comes up just as empty as me. "Well, if you're out for a walk, could we take a walk together and I show you where it's at? It'll be a good time for me to ask some preliminary questions." After asking she turns away a little bit, looking down and away before looking up at me through her bangs.

  "I—uh—yeah. Yeah, I'd like that, I think. I mean, rather, that it'll make this a lot easier, you know what I mean? I'm not good at following directions here in the city." The excuse is awful, but it's the best I can come up with, and, gratefully, she takes it gracefully and with an ever larger smile.

  "Great! It'll be a good walk from here, over on the edge of the western rim."

  We set off, but the words do not come readily to either of us for a while. The silence is heavy and awkward — the sort of thing I would expect from two strangers who met five minutes ago trying to walk a long distance to discuss a sensitive topic.

  "So….you had some questions?" I try to puncture the tense silence with an outburst of a question. I'm realizing I really have no idea how to talk to people I don't have a reason to be talking to. Or really anyone who isn't Lilly. I'm better with Olly, but we still struggle to connect in a way other than camaraderie.

  "Ah right! Sorry, I just got caught up thinking through the problem. First things first — how deviant is your essence balance? It must be fairly extreme, right?"

  "My body is, in entirety, Ignia. For all intents and purposes, I am Ignia. My heart, my soul, my mind."

  She looks surprised and falls quiet, clearly working through some memories or experience. "So you're something akin to a Kitsune, but for Ignia, not Modus?"

  "Kitsune are the foxfolk elementals, right? If so, yes. Though elemental kyn aren't quite as concentrated as me or mine."

  "Who are you and yours? I have to admit I've never seen someone with your physiology before. Kyn with wings? Sure. Kyn with tails? Yep. Kyn with Horns? Absolutely. And even kyn with scales? Definitely. But I've never heard of any kyn with all of those traits. And that's not even mentioning the whole "breathing fire" thing I've seen you do in the arena."

  The question and her detailing of what makes me stand out stings a little. Far more than I would have expected, really. I cross my arms in front of my chest, drawing my wings in — withdrawing. "It's complicated." My answer is uselessly short, but I hope she takes the hint.

  "Yeah…? I think I knew it would be complicated." The lapin gives off an airy laugh before turning to look at me incredulously with a bit of disbelief. "Being complicated is why you're struggling to get help. If I don't know what I'm dealing with I could wind up hurting you, or at least making you deeply uncomfortable."

  In response, I purse my lips, looking away. "Well…when you put it like that, I suppose it doesn't make any sense to be coy, does it? I'm a dragon. It's as 'simple' as that."

  "Mmm." She takes on a thoughtful mien for a while as we softly pad our way through the cold, snow-quieted, night. "That explains the distinction between elemental kyn and yourself. Dragons are elemental serpents, right? Akin to leviathans, lungs, and such?"

  Her knowing that much comes as an extreme shock. My understanding is that the other serpents disappeared even longer before my ma and pa did. Leviathans were the first, since them "leaving" was as simple as just…staying in the oceans. And the lungs retreated into the skies themselves, impossible to pursue. At least, according to my parents.

  "Yeah, that's right. I'm kinda surprised you know about us to that degree. Nobody else has."

  "Well, I'm a researcher who studies the affects of high essence concentrations on people's bodies. Elementals are a natural first step to investigate." She crosses her arms across her chest while tapping at her chin with one finger, thinking. The action bobbles her ears and bring some attention to her chest, seemingly inadvertently. That robs me of focus again. I don't think I've ever been so distractible around someone like this before. "So, if that's the case you must have a gate, and the other doctors weren't sure how to interact with it, I assume? Too hard to get past your bodies natural essential pressure to make any meaningful impacts?"

  She begins to detail every single problem that every single doctor or specialist I've talked to ran into, and in greater detail than they ever really managed to communicate to me — all with a confidence that I find puts me at ease.

  Stacking her competence atop the… other stuff I'm proving utterly incapable of not thinking about as things are going on, I think she might be turning into my favorite person I've met here.

  "Right, then. I think I actually might have a solution. I'm hesitant to say it's a guarantee, of course, but I think I can probably rely on the fact that you're an Ignia elemental to help me work on this problem. Are you familiar with infusions?"

  The magic theory that she starts to explain goes over my head about three lines in, and I express as much. "You're…losing me. My magic theory is very fundamental. Anything with compounding has never really been available to me. Think you could start a bit…lower?" I feel more than a little annoyed with myself at the claim. I always considered myself well educated on magic, but coming to the wider world has kicked that little bit of confidence out from under me quite handily. That book on spatial magic I got in Silverbrook was so far over my head that I wound up donating it to a library instead of beating my head against a wall any further.

  "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to do that. This problem just has me excited — the more I think about it, the more likely it's seeming to work. But, the short version — infusions are the process of intentionally pushing enough essence into a person's body to induce the effects of essence poisoning to speed the passive benefits of buildup of that essence type."

  "From what I know about mortal bodies, wouldn't that be like, stupidly dangerous? More than probably anyone, I understand the effects of Ignia poisoning and even being what I am, I sometimes struggle to fight against those passive effects."

  "Sure. But water is dangerous if you drink too much, too."

  I stop, looking at her with heavily lidded eyes before raising my brow ridges incredulously. "Drinking too much water will make you sick. Taking in too much Ignia makes you explode. They're a bit different."

  "Oh phooey, that's when it's done in the heat of the moment and by someone inexperienced. I'm the foremost researcher in the country in this field — possibly the world. I've been performing procedures like this for years on others, and myself for nearly a decade to offset my own problems." The casual nonchalance that she dismisses it has me balance on a knife's edge on how to react for a few moments before making my decision.

  I need my wing fixed — she's the only chance for that, it seems, and she's very confident. I'll take the risk. "Right, I suppose that makes sense. Didn't mean to question your expertise, sorry."

  "Don't apologize for being concerned about your wellbeing! There's a reason that people are dissuaded from doing infusions — exactly as you pointed out. It's just that I happen to be trained and studied at this exact situation. We're here."

  She gestures ahead, and I really don't even know where the time went. Once we started yammering on, it seemed to pass in a few minutes. It's something I've only ever experienced with Lilly before — and usually when she's going on at length about stories to me.

  I pull from my reverie and take in the building. It's like two houses, one about half the size of the other, that are attached on their narrow sides. The right is massively simpler in construction — looking like one of the omnipresent businesses, with a sign over the door that says "May Vendala: Essence Therapies and General Care Clinic". The V in her name comes up from a cartoonish rendition of a hares head and is drawn as a pair of tall ears like her own.

  The other building is a small home, about the size I would say is average around the city — though with notably nicer construction and aesthetics than most other places I've seen around. It even has a little front yard with what appears to be an herb garden. It's got interesting little glass domes over each planter that seem to shimmer and sparkle with essence and light — sustaining the surely important plants through the winter, I suppose?

  I have to laugh though, after I look around and realize where I am.

  "What's so funny?" She has the awkward smile of someone who is smiling because you're laughing, but not really because they have any idea of why.

  I restrain myself enough to point down the road maybe two hundred yards. "I live just down the road, and have passed this place probably every single day since we came here. I just thought it was very appropriate to how my life has gone of recent that who I apparently needed was right under my nose the entire time."

  "Oh! How nice. You probably won't even get lost on the way, then. And if you miss any appointments, I can come bother you directly." She hesitates thinking for a little bit while looking away. "But…that's what I've got for you tonight, really." The dismissal feels sudden, like another thought jumped unbidden into her head to bring things to a close. "I've got to spend the next few days looking into you and your needs, that way I can handle them as well as possible. I'd hate for you to walk away from me unsatisfied for want of me not being thorough enough."

  She turns and take a couple steps to the door before I say something to stop her. "I'm guessing your name is May Vendala?"

  "Oh, Gods above, I never even asked your name. I've been so distracted by the problem, I'm terribly sorry. Yes, please call me May." She looks wildly embarrassed and it makes me smile a bit more before I answer.

  "You can call me Ayre."

  "In that case, Ayre, I will look forward to seeing you here in a few days. Thanks for taking the time to talk to me."

  I wave. It's an awkward, small thing. A less substantial wave than I've ever given in my entire life. Barely even making it to my chest before I start to feel sheepish. But it leaves me watching as she walks away towards the door with a slight sashay of her hips — my eyes being drawn there by her twitching, puffy, black, tail. My staring lasts long enough that she reaches the door and opens it, turning fractionally over her shoulder to see me staring.

  No awkward fumbling, no chastizing; she just…winks at me, and heads inside, closing the door behind her.

  I do the only reasonable thing in such a situation — I retreat with all haste towards home.