Chapter 27: A moment of peace and revelation.

  I might not be the best known, or most powerful magical girl, but how many magical girls do you know that can say that’ve been thrown *into* a tenth floor window, instead of being thrown out of it? After crashing into a load of boxes, I dragged myself to my knees, crawled to the window just in time to see Silverback rip Mannanán's head in half. I began dry retching and collapsed. My whole body hurt, Mannanán was dead, and my armour looked like it was cracked, but we’d won.

  That’s when I heard Elias’ voice on the comms.

  “Major, Emerald, this is Silverback. Rahab’s dead, but we need medivac near the casino, and on floor 10 of the Dunsany building! Amy’s hurt!”

  Elias sounded like shit, like even breathing was a struggle. I tried to stand. I wanted to go get him out of that mech and tell him I was sorry and that everything was going to be alright now but I couldn’t even stand. It wasn’t so much injury, but exhaustion: I’d poured so much power into Silverback that I didn’t have any energy left for myself. I collapsed, and let the world fade to black.

  Unconscious again, I found myself back in the forest, back with the bird made of gems. It looked at me. I couldn’t read its expression. Pride? Understanding? Sympathy? I don’t know: birds are very inscrutable creatures. I tried to prop myself up. “Did we win? Did I die? Is he going to be okay? Who are you, anyway?”

  The bird blinked. “You’re not going to die today. You’ve too much living yet to do. We’ll speak more at a later time, Crystal Guardian Amethyst. We know where to find you.”

  The world around me faded, to a golden colour. I cried out for an explanation, but the bird wasn’t forthcoming. It might just have been my imagination, but as the bird turned and flew away, I thought I saw its shape change to something almost humanoid, something feminine with deep red hair.

  When I awoke in hospital, the sky was an almost golden colour, Emma was standing over me, holding vigil. I opened my eyes, and she grabbed me, pulling me in for a hug.

  “Thought you were gone forever!”

  “Not yet. Have I been out long?”

  “Most of today. I charged your phones. I haven’t heard from The Major yet.”

  I sat up in bed. I wasn’t in as much pain as I thought I would be. I guess the armour would’ve taken most of the impact. Suddenly, my stomach lurched with realization. “Where’s Elias?”

  Emma couldn’t even look me in the eyes when she stepped aside. Elias lay in the next bed, asleep. He looked so peaceful, like he was far away from Port Moonstone and all its troubles. I heard the beat of his heartrate monitor, and arguments from out in the hall, something angry and desperate in Spanish. I should have been heartbroken, but in truth, with the emotional rollercoaster I’d been on in the last 24 hours, I just felt numb, like nothing was real anymore. I looked up, trying not to cry. “Is he going to be okay?”

  “He’s alive. He got out of surgery about 8 hours ago. I’ve tried to get through to The Major, but she’s not picking up. I think I saw his parents earlier.”

  “Do you think he can hear us?”

  Emma didn’t say anything, just put her hand on my shoulder. I took it off, then bowed my head, ashamed. Suddenly, I caught a glimpse of movement from Elias, eyes twitching and then flickering over. He took a deep breath, and his eyes finally opened. He made eye contact with me for just a brief moment. I wanted to go over to him, to hold him and apologize for everything I’d dragged him into, but Elias held a hand up, and pointed at the TV. Some shaky footage of our fight with Rahab played as the newscaster added unnecessary commentary. Elias squinted. “They’re actually talking about us. I can’t fucking believe it. People actually give a shit about Port Moonstone for once!”

  Elias called The Major. He had her on speaker as The Major’s voice came through. “You’re still alive, Beltran?”

  “Yep. Amy too. I think I’ll be on bed-rest for a bit depending on the doctor’s orders, but overall, as long as we have Amy back, I’d say it’s been a successful mission.”

  The Major was quiet. I recalled everything I’d said to The Major about not following orders. She spoke again. “Maybe. I hear the news in the background, Beltran. I trust that you two have been filled in then?.”

  “Yeah. What about it?” I interjected.

  The Major’s voice was low, serious, conspiratorial even. I leaned in, trying to ignore the aches in my body. “When was the last time you actually saw anybody even mention this place?”

  I racked my brains, but couldn’t think of anything. “Huh. I guess you’re right, but-“

  “Something’s different, now. They can’t just hide and ignore what goes on here, like they used to.”

  The background Spanish shouting had ceased now. Emma checked her phone, eyes slowly widening. “Holy shit: people are actually listening to the podcast now!”

  She showed me her phone. Viewer numbers were climbing. I smiled weakly before slumping back in my hospital bed. The newscaster mentioned something about Parliament and the member for Moonstone being asked to resign. I checked my phone. Port Moonstone was actually trending now. #portmoonstoneisreal and #portmoonstoneisntreal were both trending on all the socials, and the Port Moonstone subreddit was overrun with new threads, and people arguing, conspiracy theorizing and questioning. I’d never left Port Moonstone myself, so to see what people were saying was honestly kind of surreal. Articles, listicles, memes were being shared. Even YouTube had video essays popping up about this city. I sank further into the pillow. The Major continued. “We’ve got bigger problems than increased media scrutiny. Iron Mask is still out there somewhere, and I’d wager that she’s not going to take this lying down.”

  I shook my head. “She told me that working with the others was an alliance of convenience. Something about spreading a message, looking for information and testing prototypes. What would she even be looking for information about?”

  The Major was quiet again. “I think we’re all forgetting something pretty big here: This ain’t the first Iron Mask. Nobody knows who the first one was, or what happened to him. I had a theory that might be worth reexamining. But it’s not something I’m going to discuss on the phone: we never know who might be listening. It’s a wild hunch, and there’s holes big enough to drive a tank through, but it’s something. Anyway, I’ve got a toy company to run and theories to re-examine. ?ojjell, Beltran, you two rest up. Roland, you’ll need to pick up some of the slack in the meantime. And Beltran: try to stop risking death. It's bad for my blood pressure.”

  A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

  The line went dead. I asked Emma to pop by my place and feed and water Feather Locklear. She agreed, hugged me goodbye and left, leaving me with the sound of television and Elias’ heartrate monitor. I focused on the newscast showing footage of Rahab stomping down the streets, like a bad monster movie. I shrugged. “He’s gone. How’re you holding up?”

  “There’s a lot that I’ll legally never be able to tell you, Amy. Even if we are teammates.”

  “So tell me what you can legally tell me, then.”

  He looked out the window. “I guess he can’t hurt me anymore. I don’t have to worry about the visions, or him hurting anybody else that I care about. That’s got to be a good thing, right? I mean, I thought I’d feel happier. But this isn’t going to give me back what I lost, Amy. And I thought I’d already closed the door on that part of my life. I’ve had ten years to come to terms. If you’d asked me 10 years ago? Ecstatic. Now? I just feel numb. I think it’s just early days, still. I’ll need time to come to terms with it again.”

  He looked over at me, crestfallen. “I understand if you never want to see me again. You’re right: I don’t think I changed a bit. I should’ve found some other way to tell you about Giallo and McClear. I wanted to find a way to do it in a way that you wouldn’t get hurt, and now look. If you don’t want to work with me, or want me to resign, I get it. I just want you to know that I’m sorry that I'm such an idiot.”

  He trailed off as I shifted in my chair. Part of me was still hurt by what he’d done. But as much of a bitch as I can be, I was seeing Elias in a new light. When I looked at Elias, I didn’t see the lanky asshole who picked a fight with my ex. I didn’t see the guy who wanted to do a business meeting in a strip club. I saw the guy who took a bullet trying to save me. I skooched a bit closer to him.

  “Honestly, I think we’re both a couple of fuckups, Elias. Maybe it’s why we ended up finding each other.”

  He stared at the roof. I sat up, looking over at him. I swallowed, took a deep breath and let the words flow.

  “Can we lay it all on the table? Just have an honest conversation?”

  Elias turned to me. “Do I have a choice?”

  “You’re kind of a captive audience right now, so no. I’m almost thirty, Elias: I’m too old to be running away from my emotional problems, and I need to get my shit together, because people are counting on me again.” I bit my lip. Time to eat crow, as the saying goes. “This was all my fault. You almost got killed because-“

  “You can’t seriously hold yourself responsible, because a giant fish-man decided to literally catfish you. I’m not going to pretend I understand but-“

  “It’s not like that, Elias. When I transformed again, for those first few times, I was so excited, but then I thought about it. When I was a teenager, I used to think of Sebastian, and that’s what fuelled the Crystal Guardian, so when we broke up, I couldn’t transform anymore. And when I realized that you were the trigger now, I got scared of what it all really meant. I mean, I hated you for such a long time, even though you were right in the end. So I tried to find another power source for my transformation, and look how it all ended up blowing up in my face, all because I wanted to be a heroine again, like I even know what that word really means. So, since we’re here for a bit, I wanted to apologize. We’ve both changed since we were teenagers. I don’t think you’re the arsehole you used to be, and I’m literally the worst person now. And if I’m going to have these powers, I definitely need to learn to be a better person. I just don’t know how.”

  Elias squinted. “I mean, I think I have the right to raise a few points of my own, seeing as I could be here a while.”

  “Such as?”

  “Point one: Rahab and Giallo had their plan regardless of whether or not we got involved. Emma and I couldn’t have saved this city by ourselves. So I don’t think it’s fair to hold yourself responsible for that.”

  “And for trying to replace you, all because I’m an emotional coward?”

  He looked away. I nodded, continuing. “I thought as much. Having powers again was meant to be a step in the right direction for me. And I need to be the person I used to-“

  “You can’t be that person Amy. Like it or not, she’s gone. You and I, we’ve gone through things those people didn’t go through. Life happened, life will continue to happen, so we can’t be those people anymore. Hell, a year from now, I don’t know if I’m going to be the person I am right now. So you’ve got to decide, with the life that you have left, how you’re going to spend it, and the kind of person you’re going to be.”

  I could feel my throat swelling. I bit my lip. “So if I can’t be the person I used to be-“

  “Then you’ve got to be the person you’re going to be. A bit older, maybe a bit wiser. Probably still going to make mistakes but honestly, I’ll probably find a way to fuck up as well. But the only option you have is to keep going. I dunno. It all sounded better in my head”

  I exhaled, releasing tension I didn’t know I was carrying. “I think I can live with that. And I’m going to try to be a better person. I’m going to find the other Sisters, let them know what’s going on. We’ll need them if we’re going to keep doing this”, I said. I smiled weakly.

  He shifted in his bed. “If we’re going to focus on the future, whatever it is, whatever that looks like, maybe we should begin anew. No stewing in the past, just going forward into the future, whatever that looks like.”

  He paused. I saw the question he was trying to ask. I saw what he was trying to get at. And honestly, I had no idea how I really felt about Elias Beltran. But I didn’t hate him, not anymore. And I was going to decide exactly how I felt. Elias relaxed into his pillow. “There. D & M accomplished.”

  “D & M?”

  “Deep ‘n meaningful. Adult conversation, like you wanted. I’ve had a long few hours, Amy. I could really use a rest.”

  “You’re not getting away that easy.”

  “Try me. I’ll fall asleep. You can’t force me to stay awake.”

  “Come on. One more question. Please?” I asked. I even tried pouting like a kid and doing puppy-dog eyes, more for comic effect than anything else. He screwed his face up. “Don’t do that, it’s beneath your dignity.”

  “What are we, exactly? I mean, are we just co-workers still, or…”

  Immediately, I regretted asking. “Amy, you absolute fucking nincompoop. You slutty, tactless baboon!” I wanted to scream to myself. A heavy silence hung over the room, as I began to realize just how that all sounded, all the implications that I hadn’t intended. I shuffled back into my bed. “Sorry, forget I asked.”

  “Nope. You can’t un-ask the question.”

  I wanted to crawl into my bed and hide under the covers until I died of embarrassment, but I knew I’d have to ask the question sooner or later. I looked over. His eyes were hazel. Why was I just noticing this now? The question continued to hang in the room. God, could he just put me out of my misery already? Finally, he spoke. “We’re partners, I guess. Friends, maybe, if we stretch the definition?”

  Now it was his turn to look embarrassed. The conversation in Spanish had started again outside. I shrugged. “Sure, why not?”

  I checked the date. “You know it’s not long until I finally turn 30.”

  “Truly the years start coming, and they don’t stop coming.”

  I snorted. “I was asking you if you wanted to come to Farrugia’s for my 30th.”

  “I assume this is one of those situations where I technically have a choice, but kind of sort of really don’t.”

  “I’m Maltese, we don’t do subtlety. So I guess you’re coming then.”

  He shrugged. “Sure. Send me the invite.”

  I smiled. My umbrella lay at the side, neatly furled. Outside, the sound of Port Moonstone traffic beeped and hummed. Outside, the people of Port Moonstone would be doing their best to repair and clean up the city that people like me called home. Things were about to change, but for now, life in Port Moonstone continued like it always had.