Let Go

  The darkly clad professor pushed past the chattering chemist, rushing down the stairs to his desk with a daunting stack of papers in his hands that he let slam on the wooden surface before hopping up on his seat as usual.

  “Sit down. We’re going to start now.”

  Unamused, but not one to pick a fight that she would undoubtedly lose, Korinna gave one last long look down the hall before closing the door behind her and taking her place beside Sel.

  Not surprised to see that the professor looked the same as he always did—with his dead look and permanent frown as he picked up the first package from the stack to read—Theo watched Moriya look at the piece of paper in his hands, dull eyes unmoving and not even pretending to read.

  “Tyche is gone. So is Lucien from Class 2-B. Two classes are now missing their tacticians. Do not expect to see Ty again.”

  His eyes shifted briefly to Kor, who stood up in her seat at the sudden declaration, and then resumed once she remained silent. “Lucien’s disappearance was unexpected, but the Headmistress has the situation under control. Given the tense political situation, we’ve decided to move forward with the semester.”

  He breathed in slowly, vexation tainting his next words. “Regarding these unprecedented absences, I am to report that we are not expecting Cyril to return, either. We have been able to locate him, but he shows no interest in returning. The Headmistress’s final verdict is to let the tactician decide—however, that role is currently vacant.”

  With that, he lowered the paper, appearing even more unimpressed as he locked eyes with each of his students. “I sincerely doubt that anyone is going to step up to fill that role presently, so I will relinquish the role of the second-years’ advisor. Formal debriefing classes will no longer be held, and I will instead fill the role of tactician for both Class 2-A and Class 2-B until a suitable replacement is found. I will see everyone once a week for class practice so everyone can remain ready to fight.”

  And then his eyes landed on Theo. “That being said, I currently do not have the capacity to perform the tactician’s administrative duties, so I need a volunteer. If no one volunteers right now, I will pick someone.”

  The entire room was silent as all eyes fell squarely on Theo.

  “Well, what’ll it be?” the professor asked, a hint of softness finally to be heard in his voice.

  A slew of memories ran through Theo’s mind: Ty bringing him along when performing her class leader duties, walking him through what she did as part of her weekly tasks, asking him to take care of her students as she left. A promise that could not be taken back.

  The Tactician.

  “Sure.” The word slipped off his tongue effortlessly, so fast that his brain took a moment to register the fuzzy sounds that had just cemented his fate.

  Without even so much as a word of gratitude, Professor Moriya picked up another page on the stack beside him. “Now, roster changes. As you can all see, Faris is back with us now. He was barely cleared by Lundkis, so he will be benched until the first day of the next month. At that point, another examination will be conducted.” Pause. Another piece of paper, and the slightest hint of a smile. “In summation: since we are lacking a duelist and a caster, there are two options regarding team make-ups, and I only like one option, so I won’t waste everyone’s time: Calliope’s team will remain the same. No duelist will be employed in Faris’s group. Selene heals, Korinna supports the two casters—Faris and Theo—while also filling the role as backup duelist. Darius remains on standby in all scenarios, and I fill in roles as necessary on top of being tactician.” The professor raised his head. “Yes, chemist?”

  Kor lowered her hand, a serious look on her face. “Are we going to receive extra training? Even if we’ve done the general classes, it seems—”

  Moriya replied with an expression just as serious. “Formal training is unnecessary. You’re going to fight for your life or die. Everyone needs to be useful during this time. You’ll do your learning during field exams, and I’ll assist with filling in any gaps during however many class practices we have left.”

  “Tsk.”

  Not breaking eye contact with Kor, the professor stared down the displeased student until a meek, yet clear, “understood” left her lips.

  “Now, updates on the political situation.”

  Grabbing a pointing stick from one of the desk’s drawers, he extended it with an aggressive flick of the wrist and used it to drag down the map at the center of the room, obscuring the answerless blackboard in front of them.

  “All forward facet sanctuaries have now been eradicated. Eslah happened over the break, as well as Sepicas up north. Both water Graces have now been felled. Noa is likely next, as it is around a day’s trek west of Sepicas. MATS is on high alert.” He said the last sentence with so little gusto that it sounded like another statistic; in reality, he knew from Em’s letters that they were scrambling to protect the remaining sanctuaries. Scrambling to find her. His ghost.

  There was a pause as Theo thought to himself. A long pause, as he recalled Em’s worried letters to him over the break, asking him if he was alright, if he was taking care of himself. Asking him to come home if he had the time, or to reply. All read in guilt-ridden succession last night.

  When he looked up at the still-silent professor, his pointer now facing the floor as he stared at the map, he could see the humanity in his eyes again.

  “Professor?”

  The professor’s expression hardened, but he did not acknowledge Callie. “There is currently an internally issued edict to capture the individual believed to be responsible for the eradication of these sanctuaries. An official order has not yet been released to the public, but it will be soon. MATS is asking all individuals to provide any details they know, or the whereabouts, of a certain tactician—Tyche sel’emma Jeanne.”

  Theo looked around the classroom as the professor waited for his words to sink in. Of course, Callie and Elias seemed unsurprised. Kor’s serious expression had morphed into a mixture of surprise and realization, mouth semi-open as if she had wanted to deny the allegations. Selene was stone-faced, giving away nothing. Behind them, Darius’s face fell, unimaginable guilt written all over his face.

  And finally—Faris, to his left. His figure was a shadow against the sun’s glow, his one remaining functional eye wide. Biting his lower lip, holding his tongue.

  It had not occurred to Theo that Ty hadn’t told Faris about everything. If anything, he thought that she would have trusted Faris just as much—if not more—than him.

  Is this what you’ve been hiding from me? he could imagine him whispering slightly off-key. Why didn’t you tell me?

  “No questions? Good,” continued Moriya unenthusiastically before raising his pointer and covering key environmental shifts for the next half hour. Most changes had already been covered, and some of them seemed arbitrary, but there were some that were major in terms of their long-lasting effects on Chloris.

  Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

  As predicted, because of the collapse of Sepicas, the water levels of the Sepica Strait were now rising to dangerous levels. Venturing up north was now ill-advised, as the lands were expected to become uninhabitable within the year if the trend continued.

  The north, above the Hythian Wind Stream, remained inaccessible and uncharted territory—the remaining Ancient community erected there, Ethy, was being monitored by a camp located on the edge of the Ethian Hinterlands, which was the closest that MATS could get to it.

  Other bodies of water surrounding Chloris were showing some abnormalities, like the western Sepican Ocean, whose waves were not only growing in height, but seemed to have shifted direction to the northeast, rapidly eroding Sephec’s Escarpment by Noa. The Darkwoods to the south of the Noalan Mountains should not have been affected by this change; however, the few remaining rivers to the northwest of Sephec’s Fall—a veritable desert—were expected to also dry up within the upcoming months. The Ancient community north of the desert, Chalsis, would likely see the same effects, as a river ran through it.

  Chloris’s biggest stretch of beach, the Brightwood beach, by eastern Chloris remained surprisingly untouched so far, but experts were actively monitoring the situation. Otherwise, the Academy and MATS offices were largely unaffected by these changes due to being located further inland.

  With a long sigh, retracting the map and compressing his pointer by stabbing it on his desk, Moriya then picked up a few pages from the stack by his side. “Aside from that, I’m to tell all students that a high number of disappearances have been occurring all over Chloris, especially in these past two months. It’s not limited only to Ancients anymore, but also some MATS groups deployed near Ancient camps. Please exercise extreme caution when venturing outside the Academy grounds, especially after dark.” He paused and looked back at his students, voice dark and threatening. “I’m serious. This is separate from what happened in Eslah. Ty’s not around to protect you all anymore. If you venture out, be adequately equipped and ready for anything.”

  It was not Kor who spoke this time, but Faris. “What happened in Eslah?”

  The professor raised his head obliviously, not having expected such a mundane question. “Eve’s entire team was eliminated.”

  “But how? Soldiers shouldn’t be equipped with—”

  “It wasn’t the soldiers that did it.”

  “That’s not what everyone’s been—”

  “It wasn’t the soldiers.”

  “Then—”

  Theo let out the breath that he was holding and turned to Faris, who locked eyes with him.

  “What?” the caster whispered through gritted teeth.

  “Faris—” That was all that Theo could get out before Moriya finally answered.

  “It was Ty.”

  “What?” repeated Faris, face full of disbelief.

  “That’s not what everyone’s been saying,” interjected Selene.

  Moriya shrugged unenthusiastically. “I’m sure I don’t need to rehash what was said in the preliminary report, but MATS insisting that the tragedy was the Eletian soldiers’ doing is merely a way for them to rile up other sorcerers and to use the event as a declaration of war.”

  “But it didn’t happen.”

  Another obscure, indifferent shrug.

  “So what are we fighting commoners for?” countered the botanist before the professor could turn his attention back to his paper.

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  “What does that mean?”

  Pinching the bridge of his nose, Moriya’s calm exterior looked like it was on the verge of breaking. “I can’t believe this class is what’s going to make me fucking lose it.”

  The class fell completely silent.

  What felt like the longest minute later, Moriya finally let his hand fall from his face. Though his face was jaded, his voice was deadpan. “The tragedy of Eslah is completely separate from the commoner situation. The situation with the commoners and them killing sorcerers—why we fight, the war—all of that is proceeding as normal. Your final exam will require you to do the same thing as you did before. Fight the enemies of the Ancients. That has not changed. Do not conflate the two. MATS is simply using the event to further their own agenda.”

  “Why did Ty—” Faris dared to utter despite the heavy aura of fury radiating from the professor.

  “I don’t know, okay?” Moriya practically yelled at the ceiling. “I don’t. Know. Why.”

  “Maybe Cyril does, they chatted after the fight. Dude practically slammed her into a tree,” chimed in Elias finally, no longer looking bored.

  “What?” hissed Callie, swiveling toward Elias.

  “Maybe that’s why he hasn’t returned. He knows she’s a murderer,” Kor added with a somewhat amused side-eye.

  “Any other questions?” the professor continued to yell. “Or can I continue?”

  “Hey, Theo? You know about it?”

  The gears in his mind finally started creaking to life again, and he turned to Kor. Yes, he had known about everything, all along. Ty had asked him about Eve. He had told her he didn’t care if she died. He had seen it in her eyes when she had told him about the children and asked him to prepare a vial for her and take her ring after battle.

  It’s okay. I don’t trust myself either, the voice of his ghost echoed in his mind. Repeatedly, refusing to cease. Watching her walk away with tears in her eyes. Not moving, not calling after her. Not apologizing.

  “I…” His voice sounded weird, blurry when he heard it echo back. The professor was staring daggers at him. “I trust her. She had her reasons.”

  Moriya turned to Kor, his volume now halved. “Good enough?”

  The chemist let out an unimpressed noise. “Eh, whatever.”

  Almost immediately, the professor began speaking again. “The last thing that I have to say is that the final exam will be assigned as necessary. Deployments will start with fifth-years and go down the list. More than just Ancient villages need protection now, so there is a very high chance that your final exam will come before the end of the academic year. If they call for us, we will go. Is that understood?”

  The acid and underlying threat in his words did not go unnoticed as the students remained tight-lipped.

  Nodding, picking out a sizable chunk off the top of the pile of papers he had brought into class and noisily letting it slam onto the table, the professor hopped off his desk. “I’m going to my next class. Theo, this stack of papers here is yours. I’ll see everyone tomorrow for practice.”

  He practically ran out of the classroom, leaving seven silent students.

  “Well,” sighed Korinna first, getting up and stretching before putting on her cloak. “I’ve got some books to pick up before my next class in an hour, so I’ll see y’all.”

  As expected, Selene accompanied her out of the classroom, muttering loudly so that no one would forget the words that had marked her entrance, “I told you. Mentally unstable.”

  When the silence returned, Theo looked back hoping to catch Darius, but he had disappeared without a sound.

  “You didn’t tell me,” the support whispered when she finally got up and packed her belongings away.

  “It’s not something that comes up naturally in conversations.”

  Callie left.

  Elias let his head fall onto the table once she was out of earshot, meeting Theo’s inquisitive gaze. “She told you, didn’t she?”

  Theo blinked.

  “When you were working on me. You called Cyril over that day. I saw. You knew.”

  “Yeah.”

  “What was it for, really?”

  Theo lowered his eyes. What had it all been for? A single word. A single word that was heavy on his lips, so full of meaning that it felt like he could conjure up his ghost if he spoke it, the one whose existence had revolved around the word. “Revenge.”

  “Huh.”

  “Yeah.”

  “And now she’s gone. Enacting some more revenge?”

  “…Yeah.”

  “Hm.”

  Lost in all the thoughts he didn’t want to hear, Theo didn’t move until he heard Elias get up from his seat.

  “You know,” the lazy duelist started, pausing and taking in a breath as if trying to figure out what to say, “she told me something last year. Almost to the date. It was right after winter break.”

  There was another pause as he stared at the blackboard. “Live. She told me she wanted to live.”

  Before Theo could figure out how to reply, how to decipher the words that were now in the past, in a winter that was coming to a close, Elias came to the same realization: the blackboard held no answers.

  Like everyone else, he left.

  “To live,” echoed Faris when it was just the both of them.

  Theo remained silent, listening to the unsteady, trembling words.

  “Do you remember…in our first year, how I got in trouble? We broke into Lucien’s room.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Do you remember my punishment?”

  “I do.”

  “Do you remember the lie she told me?”

  Theo raised his head and turned to face Faris’s silhouette, darkened by the sun streaming in from the window. Back flat against the bench. Head looking up toward the ceiling that also held no answers. Hands relaxed by his side, like a limp doll.

  “What was it she gave up for me?”

  He could still hear the spell being spoken in the dead of night, the whispers shared between two children. He could still see the fire that escaped from weathered fingertips, feel the unbelievably warm and soft sand underneath his boots. He could still see it—the red. The end.

  “Is everything my fault?”

  One life for the world, she had always told him. How heavy that sentence was now.

  “It’s my fault, isn’t it?” His figure was only a shadow against the light of the rising sun, expression barely visible as he brought an arm weakly up to shield his eyes, his entire frame quivering despite the warmth of the lecture room. “She’s not coming back.”

  Watching him, feeling his chest stirring, Theo somehow found the right words to say. The words that Ty had never said aloud, but that he knew were true beyond a shadow of a doubt. Not just for Faris, but for him. And letting go of the truth, hearing them echo in the empty hall where they had spent countless happy memories, those halcyon days they could never return to, he felt a bit lighter.

  “She chose to love you. It’s not your fault.”

  “I’m so sorry,” he whispered to the ceiling, to the ghost who could no longer return. “I’m so sorry, Ty.”