She holds my hand, giggling as she runs between the trees towards the school fence. The golden light from the setting sun fragments in the leaves and catches her smile.

  My heart beats fast and in my soul I feel happier than I've felt since losing her.

  The fence comes in view and we stop and get down on our knees sifting through the damp leaves for the phone.

  My smile starts to fade as the search has yet to yield the phone.

  Daylight wanes as we search foot by foot when my brain recovers from the euphoria and starts thinking.

  “Wait, we aren't anywhere close to where I fell, we clearly aren't gonna find it here.” I speak up, disappointed in myself for not thinking clearly.

  She snickers as she realizes our current lack of brain cells.

  “Too happy to think aren't we?” She laughs, her shoulders shaking as she giggles.

  I laugh and shake my head. “Let's head to where I actually fell, it should be easy to see.”

  She rolls her eyes and we stand up and walk a bit over to the side, where one of the spikes is stained red.

  Nearby, a corner of the phone peeks out of the leaves, catching the glint of the fading light.

  “Found it!” I shout.

  “Yay!” She yells.

  I try to turn it on, but it's dead.

  I turn to ask Eva what we should do next, but she is just staring at the spike where Sute had been kissing me, albeit forced. It's hard to pull away from someone while being impaled.

  “We have just been reunited…you aren't going to leave me for that girl are you?” She murmurs, clearly upset.

  My expression is deadpan with a hint of ‘are you stupid?’

  “No, I'm not. Are you really asking this? Did you not see the utterly disgusted expression that was upon my face?” I ask.

  “Well…maybe disgust means love for you!” She exclaims.

  “I love you a lot right now then. You kinda smell like rotting fish sitting in a sulfur geyser.” I reply, just now noticing the smell for some reason.

  “Oh. The perfume must've worn off. I guess you wouldn't have a house now that I can shower in?” She asks, pleading with puppy eyes.

  “Well, I suppose you don't have a house at all right? I guess it's ok for you to stay with me…” I answer hesitantly.

  She jumps towards me smiling and yelling Yay, but I put a hand up.

  “No more touch until you have showered.” I say firmly.

  She lets her smile fade and sniffs herself.

  “Oh god I definitely agree.” She retches.

  “Let's go to my car and get you showered.” I say nasally as I plug my nose.

  “Ok…” She mumbles as we start to walk.

  Darkness begins to descend on the woods as we near the parking lot with my car.

  She makes strange noises as she sees my car and starts listing off random words and numbers I don't know.

  “I didn't take you for a car gal.” I say.

  “Didn't take you for a man with vehicle taste.” She remarks as she smooshes her cheek against the hood.

  “Get your face off the hood, it's super greasy, hasn't been washed in years. I don't want my hood greasy.” I reply.

  “Ouch.” She says.

  “Just get in.” I grunt.

  I unlock the door and step in.

  Before she even opens her door, I start rolling my window down to let fresh air in.

  When the latch clicks and she sits in, I grab a mask from the back that's been sitting since I did the floors in the bunker.

  If it can block dust, surely it can block smells.

  Fitting it on my face, I start the car.

  It's silent as I put it in drive and pull out of the lot.

  The drive is mostly silence, accented by the odd sniffs from Eva, clearly noticing the stink on her clothes by now.

  The silence drags on as the ocean comes into view.

  “I–” We say in unison before falling silent again.

  It's suffocating. I have no clue what to say now.

  I haven't seen her in years. She hasn't seen the person I've become, and she has barely changed, mostly just becoming more unstable.

  I'm…somewhat rich now, though the money was made using some gray area methods.

  But high stakes fighting rings are good money, especially when you bet everything you have on you winning.

  She clearly is…still homeless.

  It seems to be a trend that homeless girls find me today.

  “I'd say that it's definitely a trend today.” Wrath grumbles from the back, lying down, examining an old board from when I was renovating the bunker.

  “Shut up.” I think to him.

  “Ouch, does my voice not soothe your hurting soul?” He chuckles.

  “Only if it's healing it's while giving my brain a bloodclot.” I shoot back.

  “Got it, got it. I'll back off for tonight. Just wear protection.” He laughs.

  I blush furiously.

  “I don’t do it till marriage. I'm still pure in that sense.” I think, but he's already retreated into my mindscape, probably peering into my memories again.

  I sigh, I suppose my vibe to others does make it seem I'm experienced in that sense, but I wouldn't even know where to begin…I didn't even know where babies came from till a year ago when Kaito told me…

  The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

  “I've missed you a lot.” She whispers, like speaking louder will shatter this illusion of nothing being different then so long ago.

  I freeze, my mind racing from her words. I'm not an emotionally available person. Ever since I saw her die in front of me, I've built up a wall blocking everyone from getting in fully.

  I don't know how to respond to her words with anything except coldness. Maybe honesty is the way to go?

  “It's been a long time since I've opened up to someone, and my mind is currently a wreck trying to figure out what to say other than silence.” My voice says, muffled through the mask.

  She giggles, though she sniffs again and her expression sours once more.

  “Glad to know it's not only me finding this hard.” She says.

  I laugh through the mask, my whole body shaking as the laughter makes its way through me.

  “It'd take a miracle for this not to be hard.” I chuckle, wiping a couple of tears from my eyes. “But don't worry, the drive is almost over and the hardest part of this will soon be over.” I pause for dramatic effect, though the mask's muffling takes away from it.

  “The smell.”

  Tears flow down her face, as she starts to cry.

  “I know I smell, please don't leave me!” She sobs.

  “Woah, woah, I'm not leaving you over something as small as that!” I say as I start to panic.

  I've not ever had to console a girl while crying before! I've only made them cry from rejection.

  She looks so tired as the tears wash away makeup, revealing layers of grime and dirt.

  “I'm so tired, Kari! I haven't slept in days and it's been so hard since you left! I just feel so safe and relaxed now!” She sobs.

  She sinks into her chair, curling her knees to her chest.

  Her shoulders shake softly as she buries her face in her knees.

  My hand is frozen, outstretched to help her but stuck in fear.

  The car revs onto the elevator, and descends, and I still don't know what to do.

  The car rolls off of the elevator and into the garage, where we sit, car idling as I have no clue what to do.

  Softly, I open my door and walk quietly to her side.

  “It’s ok, I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here.” I murmur softly to her as I pick her up bridal style.

  I walk into the bathroom and grab a small washcloth and get it wet, then start to dab at her cheek with it, cleaning what I could without being indecent.

  I whisper sweet assurances to her as she cries, clutching my shirt like I was about to leave.

  She calms down, though she still hiccups and cries softly.

  “Are you able to shower?” I ask her softly.

  “Uh huh.” she whispers.

  I turn to leave the bathroom so she can undress privately, but she tugs my shirt as I do.

  “No, stay.” She says.

  “I’m not comfortable with that.” I respond flatly before my tone grows more warm. “I’ll sit right outside the door once I get you some clothes, or you can shower in swimwear.”

  “I would rather have swimwear…” she mumbles, looking at the floor.

  My mind races, I thought she would say ok!

  Mumbling a bunch of gibberish, I finally respond. “I’ll go get some from the closet!”

  I scurry away to my bedroom and open the closet to reveal two sides, one being mine, dull and muted neutral colors, and the other is vibrant and full of clothes for girls.

  I used to tell myself it was just to prepare for a girl popping in by surprise, but it’s all for Eva. As I grew older, I made predictions on what size she’d be, and in turns I was right.

  I grab a two piece hanging in the swimwear, and scurry back to the bathroom, where she sits on the edge of the tub waiting for me.

  I toss it at her, and tell her to put it on.

  I close the door behind me and sigh, this has been an interesting day. A very interesting and hard day. Especially on my poor nose.

  “I’m done.” she calls out to me, and I open the door and immediately begin readying to wash her.

  I myself have changed into swim trunks and I turn the water on, to give it time to heat up.

  I rummage through the bath supplies and grab heavy duty soap, a loofa, and some grit, some internal grit, to help me through this.

  I guide her to stand under the water, and I start to scrub her when I can’t breath, courtesy of me forgetting to take off the mask and the moisture wetting the filters.

  I take it off quickly, and resume scrubbing her.

  Underneath her clothes lay years of grime, that has sat unwashed that entire time. Her skin looks like a troll if you didn't know it was dirt.

  As I scrub her arms, her fair, white skin shines brightly. No surprise, even in the sewers with no light, I knew where she was at all times, she’s like a lantern.

  As I scrub her, literal plates of dirt, start to fall off, and I realize how thin she has gotten. Her ribs show both front and back, and it looks like she should be dead.

  As I finish her body, I move to her hair.

  “Lean back, you can lay on me.” I tell her.

  As she does, I start running my fingers through, and start shampooing her hair.

  After around seven rounds of scrub and rinse, the white begins to peek through.

  As if by magic, the dirt and blood begins to disappear and flow down the drain, revealing the white hair that I saw so many years ago.

  I hum a tune we used to sing a long time ago, some tune from her old life she never told me from where.

  When I finish, and tap her, telling her I'm finished, she pushes up, and gets out.

  That was surprisingly relaxing. The most stressful part of it was getting in.

  But I still don't want to do this more than once.

  It's not decent.

  I crack my neck and step out of the shower as well. I close the glass door behind me, and tell her to stay, and I would get her pajamas.

  I open the door and return to the closet and change myself.

  I put on some oversized t-shirt with a hoodie and slap on some too big sweatpants that sag slightly. I grab a similar fit from her closet side and return to the bathroom.

  I toss her the change of clothes and mime for her to brush her teeth.

  Flashing a thumbs up, she riffles through the drawers for a toothbrush.

  Trailing my fingers on the doorway as I leave, I call, “Fourth drawer on the right.”

  I walk to the back door, and quietly open the latch and step onto the black sand.

  I look up at the stars and begin a tune, one that wasn’t taught to me by Eva, one that I didn’t pick up on the street, but one I heard from my family for what has felt like eons.

  I had my parents sit me down one night, before it all started to splinter.

  “You are not an ordinary child. You are of a long line of StarSeekers. Find your brother when you strike sixteen. He will tell you all, when you sing him this song.” Is along the lines of what they said. I didn’t even know I had a brother.

  I looked for a while, looked into what the StarSeekers are, but never it amounted to much. Maybe in another universe.

  I finish the first notes and begin to sing the notes. I never got the words down.

  But the song is hauntingly beautiful even with just the notes. I walk towards the edge of the coast, where a dock sits with two little rafts as I sing.

  I step on one, grab a paddle while continuing to sing, untie its mooring, and push off.

  This is my nightly ritual.

  It reminds me of my family. I miss them, no matter how broken they made us.

  The song dips with the waves and raises with the swells as the creepy and captivating tones reflect off the sea.

  But I sing it because it calms my rage.

  It's like a drug I suppose.

  I don't know…Every time I get halfway, everything disappears and turns to stars.

  Literally. Everything fades from my perception and is just stars.

  As if on cue, everything begins to turn to black, and with tiny explosions, small stars begin to condense.

  Thoughts disappear from my head, and I just sing, and I feel my feet leave the ground. This is where I can never finish the song.

  “Kari…are you ok?” A soft voice calls to me.

  Eva begins to appear sitting on a raft,fading slowly into view.

  I turn, and gaze at eternity.

  This is what I mean. Nothing interrupts me, but I know if I continue everything will change.

  I never said what happened to my mom did I?

  My dad disappeared after my mom did.

  I remember following her to a club. Not a nightclub. More like a secret society. They had this shimmery paint. It looked like liquid space.

  When I said I have no leads on StarSeekers, that wasn’t entirely true. I had one. But it was a dead end. It was this club. But when I returned, it was burned down.

  But they started this song. Halfway though, the stars happened. I saw them. And I saw her skin turn to stars, and then I saw the space distort, and she just…shrank and with a zwooop, she was gone.

  I saw them do it one by one, and when I returned home, I waited for her to come back herself. She never did. Dad fell in a bottle, of pills, of booze, you name it.

  He left me. All the debt he racked up too. I was able to renounce it, but I realized he was a filthy pig, and I wanted nothing more to do with him.

  And when I sing this song, I feel it happening to me. But I never could go through with it. Just the thought of Eva might be alive stops me in my tracks every time. And now, I know I can’t ever go through with it.

  I turn to her and smile softly at her, our rafts tapping as the current pushes them together.

  With a sigh and my shoulders sagging, I lean down and lash our rafts together, before taking her hand and pulling her into my embrace tightly.

  “Yeah, I’m fine Eva. Never better, my love.” I murmur into her ear.