"Dammit, I've seen some shit that worried me before, but nothing like this." Senior Engineer Boom-Boom was observing one of the crews assembling the engines they planned to use to power each stage of the elevator project. There should be a maximum of seven dwarves working on the project, but he saw more than that in the repurposed throne room. More than seven Engineers got in the way, or came up with too many crazy ideas. This crew had swelled to fifteen. Seventeen if you counted the barrel of rum and the cabin girl pouring mugs of alcohol and topping everyone in the crew off. Laughter, crude jokes, and bawdy songs were coming from the crew, along with the expected cursing and pounding of hammers as they convinced parts to fit together properly.

  Narwhal had to agree. "It's happened before. A crew decides that enticing a few cute beards to join up and sail away is a good thing. But you put too many Engineers together and they get ideas about improving things. Soon, they're working all day and drinking all night. The crazy rubs off on the normally conservative scavenger crew, and suddenly you've got a shipload of crazies. Sometimes you get a workable ship, like Captain Moira's double-wheeler. Damned thing is a clumsy tub with both bow and stern wheels, but it can move along at a good clip, wind or no wind."

  "And when the ideas aren't workable?"

  Narwhal shrugged. "Experimental boiler explosions, flying ships that go too high and come down too fast, submarines with screen doors and sun roofs. But this? This is a crazy I've never seen before! What the hell are they thinking? The Captain and your Chief are wearing flowered tunics and have little parasols in their rum mugs!"

  "Well, maybe it won't be so bad..."

  "Piss on that. It's already bad. I'm too young to be the responsible member of the family! What the hell is she thinking? They're cooking French Toast nearly every morning, and spend all night supposedly going over the plans for rebuilding Leviathan. We've only finished one section of the damned boat, and she's getting sidetracked and chasing a beard. And acting like it's her first voyage. Worse, whatever she's drinking, she gave a sip to half the crew. Look at them! It's a party down there. Nothing good will come of this."

  "I dunno...they sure are getting a lot done. Sledge figured out a way to double cable production, and they're feeding dark iron ingots into the cableworks around the clock. They've got a lot of it ready to go. But I'm not seeing a lot of the infrastructure that you'd expect. There's one small crane, an experimental engine, and a lot of cable."

  Narwhal checked her guns and ammo and steeled herself for the upcoming confrontation. "You figure out what the hell they're building, I'm going to have a long talk with my Mama about how a proper Scavenger Captain should be acting."

  "Right behind you, you'll need a side gunner."

  She grinned at him, "You just want to watch me pin back the ears of my Captain and your Chief."

  "You got me there. I wouldn't miss this for all the cataclysmite I have hidden in the old toolshed."

  "How much is that?"

  "Oh, maybe a few barrels. Enough to renovate that shed, that's for sure. But I hate not having it handy. Never know when you'll need it. We need to do some more adventuring. I used most of my points from blowing up the Chimera on a Stage 1 Ammo crate, but it's only one cubic foot. I need a lot of points to upgrade it to an Engineer's Armory."

  "I was thinking the same. There was so much treasure in the hidden lockbox on the Queen. And the cannons! I left so many cannons behind. If we had something like what Sledgemonkey can whistle up, we'd have cleaned her out good in a few trips. Damn, is that what Mama's after? An Engineer with a big storage chest?"

  This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

  Boom-Boom shook his head. "Not a chance, too sensible, and those two are acting anything but sensible. Look at them! Sledge is out of his armor and dressed up like some Scavenger party boy. Captain Whale is wearing more bling than I've seen on any Captain, and she has a rum bottle in each hand."

  "Double-fisting rum bottles isn't out of the ordinary for Mama. But drinking Blackrock Double-Distilled Paint Remover is a little crazy. Well, a lot crazy."

  The two marched into the throne room, where half the Scavengers and Engineers paired up and began a scandalous round of square dancing, shouting out 'Swing Your Partner' with no regard for propriety. Even some of the Scavengers were blushing. Pillbug was providing the music on a steam-powered accordion. Boom-Boom and his wife watched in awe as the eight dancers, including Sledgemonkey and Whale, promenaded back and forth for half an hour and then cheered and headed for the rum buckets to fill their mugs.

  The engine on the winch started up, and the Engineers fed cables into it, attaching them to a small platform, barely three feet square.

  Sledgemonkey and Whale were putting on large packs. Narwhal ran up to her Mother and got between her and the platform. "And just where are you going, you little hussy?"

  Whale actually blushed. "It isn't what it looks like."

  "It looks like a drunken engagement party."

  Sledgemonkey was actually slurring his words when he spoke, something that amazed Boom-Boom. "Pre-engagement, ackshully. Can't do it all ofishul jus' yet. Roolz. Need to have 100 witnesses."

  "You two are getting a 100-year contract? When the hell were you going to tell me?"

  Whale winked at her. "Figured a smart girl like you would have figured it out. I decided that if you could snag an Engineer with a passed-down engagement, then I could be scandalous and grab this hunk of Engineer when he offered me a commitment. Just too cute to turn him down. We'll talk more when we get back. Important Engineer mission. Very hush-hush."

  Boom-Boom didn't remember any such job being posted. "Before you go throwing yourself into that fissure, explain how this is an approved job."

  Sledgemonkey brought out a rulebook and turned to a page he had bookmarked. "Right here. 'And it is the duty of all Engineers to come to the aid of a Brother in distress'. Milo said he was out of Cataclysmite, so we're taking him some. The poor boy is nearly defenseless and stranded in a strange city. He needs a couple of wise, old warriors to come to his rescue. So I packed up my gear and decided to get a first-hand look at this job, rescue Milo, and take this delicate flower of a Scavenger along with me, to keep me out of trouble."

  Narwhal shook her head. "Not without a chaperone, you aren't. I want revenge for all the times she tortured me when I tried to sneak off."

  Boom-Boom hopped on the platform. "Not missing this little jaunt. By the way, Sledge, just how much cataclysmite did you bring? You know my views on having enough explosives."

  The Chief situated himself and double-checked that everyone was securely hooked to the platform with a safety rope. "Oh, I do know your views. The gold standard of 'Having Enough Explosives.' So I took it all."

  "All what?"

  "All the Cataclysmite you've been hiding in the Tool Shed, the barrels marked 'Apple Butter', and your hideyhole in that little cavern infested with centipedes. Can't be too cautious when it comes to explosives."

  The lift began to lower the quartet into the depths. Boom-Boom had a puzzled look on his face. "Damn, I forgot about the stuff I hid in the deep storage. That was back when my brains were still zombified, and it slipped my mind. How the hell did you find that?"

  Sledge winked at him, "You don't get to be Chief without having secret methods of ferreting out secrets."