At my words, I heard faint noises again, the s shivering. For a brief moment, the dead eyes of Tamamo-no-Mae, seeming almost like a weed-choked pond, seemed to glow like emeralds, but perhaps I imagi. “A proposition.” I repeated. “Surely you don’t want to let it end like this? You have unfinished business, both food and for ill, so…”

  This time I was sure I wasn’t mistaken, as her eyelids fluttered again, and her green eyes seemed to gleam knowingly. I the a bad premonition, as if a weight was about to crash down on me, oppressive and stifling. With a sound of shattering gss, the mental world was sundered, breaking apart, and in my arms, the body of Tamamo-no-Mae stirred, a barest movement, but several of the severed s that were still binding her shed out like snakes, ing around my wrist and throat.

  Not good… I could already feel myself being drawn bato her Sea of Thoughts, a new mental world, not one prompted by the Tiānyì or the Chaotids, and in desperation I quickly forced the overpping Silver Cords of Daiyu, my sis and Shiro to separate from my own. There was a momentary feeling of loss and isotion, their presehin me disappearing, and then I was suddenly overwhelmed by the still forceful mind of Tamamo-no-Mae, dragged into her pace, my grip oail now feeling like holding the tail of a tiger. Once you hold on, there’s ing go until the end, not if you don’t want the tiger to kill you…

  The mental space resolved into a facsimile of the inside of the Sessho-seki, Tamamo-no-Mae ba her s, hanging in the tre, long hair brushing the floor, tails drooping listlessly. The difference is I was looking at her from a higher standpoint, and as I tried to move I realised I too was bound in s, feet uo touch the floor. Seeiruggle, Tamamo-no-Mae’s eyes flickered open, and her jaw worked soundlessly for a while, until she mao croak out some ponderous, weak words. “Arrogance… I… abhor… arrogance.”

  “Really?” I knew everything was too easy. Easy, hah… we danced on the edge of death all through this, but because it worked out it seems trivial. But holy, I feared and expected this final step… “It seems to be that you’re the Queen ance.”

  “I… had… rights to be.” She sneered, her pale face haughty aiful even now. “But I am… so… very tired. I just want it all… to end.”

  “Why? The Saint of Swallowing Sorrows is dead.” I persisted. “And you survived.”

  “Survival?” She rolled the word arouongue, as if tasting it. I was aware we weren’t physically present, our minds and spirits merely overpping, me swallowed by her immense will, but it did seem real. “And what do I have to… survive… for? I am broken, ruihe world… has passed me by. Let me end, let… it end.”

  I frowned in disappoi. It isn’t like I don’t uand, but… Seeing my expression, she grimaced, showing her fangs. “You do… not… get to lecture me, whelp who has… lived a …mere… handful of years. What… suffering have you… known? Losses… endured?”

  “I’ve lost those that matter. Yes, I’ve avoided the worst, but even so… this isn’t a pissing test about who has suffered most. Nor even about who deserves it.”

  “Pissing… test?” She paused. “You have strange… mannerisms, boy. And the nguage is… familiar, yet… not.” For a moment her green eyes held a spark of i, before it was quickly extinguished, eyes darkening once more. “The world… has passed me… by.”

  “Maybe so, but…” I tried again, and she snorted, radiating s.

  “I am… tired, boy. So very tired. Besides, I have… my pride. Arrogance, you… say I possess? I call it… fidence.” She stole the line I was going to use earlier but never had the ce to, and on seeing the look on my face she snorted wryly. “You are an… ho one. Displeased, are you? I care… not. I felt… the cold Wind… the whispering… voices, tellio give in… but I had already given in. Darkness, oblivion… it is all… I have left, I crave. And now… at least… the wretched monk does not… prosper from my… sorrows. Amitabha.” She muttered mogly.

  “I have fideoo.” I assured her. “fidehat it isn’t time for you to give up! What foolishness would it be, here and now, just dying? When you sted so long, did so much…”

  “You think you know… what I did?” Her voice was firmer, as if she was being used to speaking again, even though they were merely transmitted thoughts. “Oh… yes, you … were there. I could feel you. Thoughts flickering…” She suddenly seemed surprised. “How… weak and useless… I have bee. Me, the woman that… made empires rise and fall on whims… who charmed the mighty… who roamed the world… as I pleased… letting my name bind me. But… I have ails, boy… even broken, I doubt you force… me to heel. You have not the strength. I do admit…” she ceded graciously, though that too reeked of her arrogant disregard for me. “…to have survived… shows you are not useless… but you rely on… others… too much. Only your own strength… matters. The strong are always the… lonely.” Hearing the mencholy in her voice, I disagreed.

  “With only yourself to fight for, I see why you would choose the end. The easy way out. Cowardly.” At my words her eyes narrowed, and I could feel a dark killing i boiling, the fial Sessho-seki around us seething with blue shadows. “If you only disappoint yourself, let down yourself… hurt yourself…. Well, theh is an option. That’s why I ever fail. Because I have those who push me forward, those I want to shield, those I want to stand alongside… and you do too. What of Su Caihong? Or Su Liena?”

  At their names, her anger spiked. “Do not speak of them! You think you trick… me? Oh… you saw… my sorrowful memories. I think… I remember. You wretch. They are dead, my efforts … all in vain. Even if not… I merely wished to pluck Liena, she was so beautiful and pure. And Caihong’er… she was simply my most ret… fling. You know I have many children, after all… I remember that little Kitsune from before… with you. What was her name again, I det?”

  Liar. But your lies don’t escape my notice. “Nebisuki. She begged me to free you.” You still call her Caihong’er. And your eyes… they are full of a different sort of hatred now. Self-hatred. Yret it, I know… “But fet her for now. Don’t you want to live for them, see if you reunite?”

  “You… anger me.” Her League rocked me, tossing me in my s like a boat adrift on a stormy sea, an apt metaphor as huge amounts of inky-blue darkness element were surging, buffeting me. I opened myself to it gently, drawing in what I could for some respite. “I have been severed from the… outside for… so long, but I know… too many years have passed. Even with the work of that old fool, and Sekka’s frozen blessings, they will have perished, alone, unmourned and unreveo think otherwise…”

  “You don’t know that.” I disagreed. “After all, the fact you survived proves miracles happen.”

  “Do not… question me. You know nothing! Everyone… knows nothing. Mortals, spirits, Yōkai, even the wretched Gods… nobody ever learns, or simply… repeats their same mistakes. Endless… day after day, after month, after year… after decade, after tury… after millennia.” She was raging now, the truest emotion I had seen from her here, no lies in her. “Endless repetition of folly… nothing ges, nothing has value. Only one’s own self and what one … grasp!” She looked at me then, bitter. “Even so, strength is no guarantee… of survival. Caihohis noble me…” She addressed herself sarcastically. “Before us, many heroes and powerful beings… perished. These nds… where are the Kamuy that called them home now? Buried by time, and by our hands…” She g her own hands, with their elegant long nails, suddenly pained and enamelled. “By miime… the endless repeat of failures, nothing ever ging… it is so… b. Even a mountain wears down under wind and rain, and rock shatters when cold. We that live… we are not mountains, but flesh and spirit. Best not to care, to do as we please, live like fleeting sparks, and burn out. And my spark… it ends.”

  “Those who ot remember the past are doomed to repeat it.” I quoted, though I never knew whinally said it. At that, she looked up, and I smiled as fly as I could. “I don’t five you for what you’ve done. Nor do you need my fiveness. I saw some of your deeds, and history tells us of many more, though most think them myths. It’s been a long time, and things have ged.”

  “I am … always told things ge.” She dismissed that sarcastically. “But all ge is simply more… of the same. And who are you to question me?” Her tails stood up, and foxfire fred to life overhead, though I didn’t miss the pained expression crossing her face. My Eye fshed e, and I could see that even as a mental representation, her body was a mess, Chakras ed aed, her capilries, branches and meridians ruins, probably from louries of forcible extra and Qi version by the Formations. Shit, I bet even just being sust hurt her. It’s just like Eri and Shiro… “And do not pity me! I her deserve it nor want it…” She roared, vulsing. “In the end, the only ge is the end. Where I no longer have to suffer…”

  “Sorry, but I’ll do what I please.” Foxfire exploded, but it was weak, all sound and fury, and quickly swallowed by the r blue darkness around us, only a few faint burns on my imaginary form. “After all, you said it yourself, only strength matters, and I’m strong enough to feel sorry for you, judge you, if I so wish.”

  “I told you… I despise arrogance.” she warned me, and I shrugged as best I could in the s.

  “And I told you, you aren’t the only oh fidence here. Look, things have ged. Not everything, we still fight stupid wars, the world is in more dahahe good often go unrewarded and the bad sometimes go unpunished, but… I… we… have the ce to ge it. Because we do remember, you remember.”

  She mutely watched me, eyes glittering with emotions I couldn’t dis, so I tinued. “Nebisuki wanted you freed, because otherwise the Kitsune will all perish. And I think… despite everything, despite all their blood you shed… your own brother’s…” I found that hard to uand. I’d never raise a hand to Aiko, even if she was taking the wrong path, I’d stop her without hurting her. “…your own children…” Asha’s daughter isn’t even bor, and already I tell I’ll always love and cherish her. This fox… she’s alien to me, but… I see the reisable emotions withioo. She’s the mountain, tall, proud and so utterly lonely, whereas life is the wind and rain and snow, wearing her down, crag the rocks, and seeping in and freezing, shattering her, leaving only a cold, hard core… that’s no way to live…

  “I am the mountain, you say?” Tamamo-no-Mae said softly, and I realised we were sharing our thoughts. “And I regret Caihong’er, my own cruelty? You presume to know me? From your mind you have lived barely at all. the pebble know the heart of the mountain?”

  “Yes. Easily.” I said with vi. “After all, both are made of rock. Sure, there are many different types, and the stone doesn’t feel the mass of the mountain always bearing down on it… but a stone gnce up at the mountain and feel sympathy for the heavy weight it must endure.”

  “Sophistry. Your words are pretty, but futile. Even if I wished to live, which I do not… I am broken, shattered. Perhaps letting my granddaughter kill me, as I slew so many, might be a suitable end… another repetition of the b follies…” Her League surged, oppressing me, and the blue darkness pushed against me, starting to eat into my mental proje. I sped up my absorption, watg as the image of Tamamo-no-Mae wavered, her own spirit now too powerful for herself, hastening her colpse. “…if I kill you here, you shall release her tail. Then she take vengeance…”

  “She doesn’t want vengeance. She’s like you said, just followed in your footsteps, the way you’ve paved for the Kitsune, doing cruel and kind things on her own whims, but always lonely, fearful.” I resisted the pressure. “But she chose to reach out, to take a ce, to break the cycle. Because she’s seen through us that the world has a hope for ge. As do you. You only o… reach out.”

  One holding me cracked, and I extended an arm, heedless of the pressure. Seeing that, Tamamo-no-Mae’s smile ged, her eyes frigid and malicious, sparkling like jade. “If you know history, you know not to trust me. I have led many men and women to their ruin, twisting them to my whims. I shall do the same to you…”

  “No, you won’t.” I promised, steeling myself for the final certaih Uranai had likely foreseen. “And that’s because I’m not the mountain, alone, exposed to the wind and rain. I’m a tree, in a forest, so the wind and rain feels gentle.”

  “Hah.” She spat a ugh. “You have a pretty tongue, boy, for sure. Ier timers, I would certainly have been ied in a dalliaaking you from those you cim to love, proving my superiority… or perhaps… stealing those you love from you, breaking your heart…”

  “Wow.” I aped my sister. “You’re into orare, huh? Well, sidering how you wanted Liena, I’d say you’re into pretty much everything…”

  “Speak words I uand.” She frowned. “But you hold no fear…”

  “If I or they be broken apart so easily, it means our bonds were weak, our love was. And I know that’s not true. I believe in them, and I believe in me. Even if, like you, I carry my sins. I swore to love only one woman, then discovered I couldn’t do that…”

  “Hah, who ?” She seemed almost sympathetic for a moment. “I suppose… this has been amusing, if nothing else. But I grow weary. My mind is fogged. I have… wished to cease for too long. I ot ge my course.”

  “Give me a ce. I probably fix you…” I said, and her eyes narrowed, her anger returning, the brief goodwill my fession of tangled love had garnered vanishing.

  “Again, I have made it quite clear, I…”

  “Coward.” I threw my own anger back. “You’re happy when you are doing as you please, ruining lives, taking what you wish, praising your strength… but when I e to dominate you, you cry and quit the game. Coward is all I call you.” I repeated, harshly, and she bli me, amazed.

  “You dare?” she said, stunned.

  “I do.” I shrugged off her pressure aive emotions, the darkness in her heart eating away at me. “You’re no lohe top dog around here… or top fox. I came to save you, we came, and we fought off a Saint, crappy as he was, the Heavenly Tribution, the Tiānyì …. And if you resist, I’ll make you submit. You don’t get to take the coward’s way out. That’s not how Tamamo-no-Mae’s story should end! Mountains may get worn down by the wind and the rain, but… they still grow despite that. Have you never heard of collidionic ptes?”

  She cocked her head, not uanding, but moments ter she ughed in a mixture of anger and delight. “This… this is new. I have been threatened by many, those seeking their deaths, those that hate me, my enemies… but no-one has ever threatened me to live.” Her green eyes gazed deeply into mine, and she licked her lips, and I could feel her Charm, even now. It ale shadow of Ta?hā’s, but still immeasurably alluring, and I could see why so many had been seduced by her over her long life. “In… that case, foolish boy… prove it. Here, prying into the flickers of what remains of me… endure what I endured, and then survive. If so… I will sider your plea…”

  Without even waiting for my agreement, the darkness suddenly overwhelmed my throat and lunar Chakras, flooding into me, drowning my mind. I could hear her shrill, cold ughter, and gathered a single Split Thought, separating it. With a surge, I terattacked, sending it into Tamamo-no-Mae, carrying abundant memories, and also a single mog statement. You don’t get to sider, I know how that goes. I survive, and … you obey! As I’ve proved I’m the stronger one!

  If you … if you … Her mog thoughts returo me, and I was washed away with the weight of her agony. For a moment I lost all sense of where I was within most of my Split Thoughts, and then…

  “Amitabha. This will hurt. But then, the heavens are just.” The Saint of Swallowing Sorrows said to me with false kindness. “sider it your opportunity to advance yourself, for otherwise… your reination is uo be kind to you.”

  Oh, this sort of thing again. I’m getting used to this. But I doubt it’s that simple, but there’s only ohing I o remember…

  “ence. Drain her dry!” Harsh words rang out, and my thoughts shattered as sheer torture overwhelmed them. Brilliant light of aether shone along the Formations that the monk had crafted, the inner Sessho-seki lightning up. It was hauntingly beautiful, but I had little time to admire them. The pain was indescribable. Not physical, but an atta a spiritual level. My Eye bzed, and I could see that the Formation was slowly starting to strip aether and elemental energies from me, not merely draining it, but literally slowly breaking down my Chakras and surroundiwork for added gain and purity.

  I… damn, how did Tamamo-no-Mae live so long through this?

  “Amitabha. Have no worries that you will die…” My question was answered as the sed yer of the Formations operated, and my body started rec, at a rate just so slightly shy of the damage. “…that shall not happen, not until I have milked you for every drop of Qi I . The path to Spirit, and even Sainthood, in this forsaken world is long, and requires much. But all I have is you.” His smile was cruel and cold. “And so I will treat you as a precious, treasured resourot for years, but for decades, turies, as long as it takes, and as long as you st!”

  Hearing that, terror welled up within me, but I ground my teeth together. It’s an illusion, merely experieng Tamamo-no-Mae’s thoughts, But… Even with that, my mind, my spirit, they could easily shatter. Uranai said I was to die here, but things would ge in just a few short weeks, giving me a better ce of survival, if so… if so…

  ***

  “Just where is this?” Tamamo-no-Mae was surprised that two could py her game, as my Split Thought, almost entirely isoted from my other streams of sciousness, enveloped hers as she was weakened, using her will to subsume mine. I still feel a twinge of pain though. If my other Thoughts crack, this one will be overwhelmed too. Hopefully I hold on…

  “It’s my home. And she’s… actually a Kamaitachi. Well, half a one, anyway.” I showed the legendary ailed fox a se from my ret past. Shaeu ying an RPG, her party attag a boss monster as she leisurely tapped away one-handed, her other hand around a of beer. My sis had e over from her nearby home and was watg, and Hyath was busy bustling around i, making snacks. “But she’s enjoying life. See that?” I poio the TV. “Ba your day, you had books, pys, musical performances, stuff like that, didn’t you?”

  Tamamo-no-Mae slowly nodded, seeing surprised I was still lucid. It was hard, I could feel the pain rising, even so distant from this Split Thought, but I had to trust myself that I could ha. “Yes. I pyed the geji and the geisha a number of times and listeo many more.” Her lips curved into a smile. “I perform with many instruments and sing and dance wonderfully. I did enjoy listening to music, but…” She frowned. “These sounds are… strange. Not unpleasant…”

  “Yeah. Games have to have music.” I agreed. “But eai has moved on. We have iive games by the tens of thousands, here Shaeu is trolling a party of heroes to save the world. She makes their choices for them, they fight, win, gain experiend grow stronger, eventually, hopefully, beating the final boss. It’s fun. We have millions of books, pys and even fluid visual mediums…” In another room, Shiro was watg anime, and Tamamo-no-Mae seemed fused by how the pictures moved.

  “It’s simple. Our eyes process in is of time. As long as the images are ged a little between those is, it seems to move.” I expined. “There’s so muime made that you could watch for hundreds of years and never o repeat. Though half the fun is rewatg one you love, finding new meaning and enjoyment in it. Then there’s films, live-a from all around the world… there’s never a reason to be bored. Though of course, iion with others is oo to have a happy life.”

  “Intriguing. But futile. You think this will move me?” she scowled, tails thrashing, and I shook my head.

  “Just setting the se. Here…” We shifted, and I was in a bar with Shiro, Hayato-kun and the gang. “…alcohol has moved on too. And look outside…” We peered out of the cosy bar in Akihabara, and Tamamo-no-Mae bli the tides of people.

  “Is there a festival?”

  “Nope, just an ordinary day. The number of humans has expanded beyond what you could ever imagine. But is that what you should be ed about?” I pointed out cars and other wonders. “There’s a very famous stist, from my mom’s try. He first discravity, though to be ho, there’s some specution if gravity is even a forowadays. But anyway, not important. What is important, is what he said once. And I want you to take it to heart, mighty ailed fox. Because it disproves all your bitter boredom. And applies to you too. He said If I have seen so far, it is only because I am standing on the shoulders of giants. You get it?”

  She simply looked at me, and I sighed. “Pying hard to get, huh? Not what I’d expect from you. Or if you’re waiting for me to colpse uhe torture you endured… sorry to disappoint, but I won’t. No, what I mean is… we do learn. It’s not perfect, but the world is full of new aing things. But I agree. Fun things are fun because we have those to share the fun with. Shall we go…? There are a few old friends to visit.”

  ***

  “Shit. Fuck. Bastard. Bitch. Shit. Fuck. Bastard. Bitch…” I was ting swearwords to myself in an endless litany. It was better than listening to the words of that smarmy fug monk, which was another sort of torture. I had lost track of time, unsure whether I had been tortured drip by drip for hours, days or longer, but I maintained my sanity by focussing on one important matter. It’s Daiyu’s birthday tomorrow. I’m not going to miss it. She’s never really celebrated one, as she’s always taken Cultivation milestones as her treasured times. But I’m going to give her a first birthday to remember, to look ba for years. To that end… My Eye was bzing, and I memories of all the Formations around us into my Split Thoughts, st them, trying to drive out the sea of pain that was flooding into me. It’s hard though, so very hard…

  “Slowly, oh so slowly, see your vaurength fill me up, repay me for your treachery.”

  Ign that, I tio swear to myself, memorising every ge in the runes. I had tried speaking, but sihis was just a memory, I couldn’t influenything, only suffer. Only suffer. The Tiānyì o learn a thing or two from this, they’d do better…

  With a mad, bubbling ugh and half-choked sob esg my throat, I tinued my mantra, as my fake body corroded away, and with it, my sanity, moment by moment…

  ***

  “Tarōbō…” Tamamo-no-Mae muttered in surprise. “You bested him?” She had already seen the corpse of the Kamuy the Dires and I had defeated together, and the treachery that followed. Now she was watg as I became the leader of Mount Atago, handing it off to Haru. Speaking of Haru…

  “I did.” I chewed on my lip, the pain building, like a fierce migraine bined with vicious toothache. “But that’s not important. Those of you who know the mistakes made, we learn from you. Besides…” I gestured to Haru. “…she even died from a torture no woman should ever have to face, but she didn’t let death stop her. Sure, she’s still hurting, still struggles, but she didn’t give up. Is she strohan you? Is this all you have, oh great Tamamo-no-Mae?”

  “I am sure her fate was cruel, but would you rather suffer greatly for an instant, or a little less for ay?” she tered, ears ft against her skull.

  “Obviously I’d rather her, but yeah… you have a good point, but then… the mind is a powerful thing. Anything stant bee bearable in time. Not that I’d dare to dismiss your suffering.” My cheek twitched, muscles jumping as I endured. “It’s… not fun. Not at all. But you’re just being stubborist! The monk is dead, the pain is over!”

  “Is it? Foolish little man, you do not know my pain. But you will. Though I shall give you some small credit. You endure well… but those who have not suffered, who have not bloodied their hands…”

  “Right. Bloody-handing it is then.” I sighed, and the se jumped, to where I abandoned Yamato-san to Nurarihyon, and theroyed his Anchor, ruining him. Tamamo-no-Mae seemed both surprised and somewhat wistful, seeing visions of the Hyakki Yagyō again, some old faces like Bintara and Uranai. She ughed at my misfortune as Seirei, the doll-like wife of Nurarihyon, bullied me, aails were showing her emotions, waving a little as they were.

  “That was hardly a bloody deed. There was no choice…” Tamamo-no-Mae said at st.

  “There’s always a choice. Just as you face it.” I disagreed. “Maybe my choice was to fight for him and die, but I couldn’t do it. Because in the end, I have people I treasure more than him. And I ’t put their happiness at risk for someone who led so many to their deaths. Aren’t you the same? Didn’t you risk yourself for Su Caihong and her daughter?”

  “All in vain.” The motion of her tails stopped, they were now pointing down, drooping like her incredibly long hair.

  “You don’t know that.” I disagreed. “It’s a long shot, but if they are dead, like I tried to tell you before this, then grieve. That’s better than nothing. And if they aren’t…”

  “I have lived too long.” Tamamo-no-Mae said at st. “And while I regret nothing…”

  “That’s a lie.” I pointed out, and then covered my hands hastily as I vomited a mass of silver ahe pain gnawing away at me, even here. Seeing that, she narrowed her eyes, but amended her words.

  “While I regret many, many things… I am Tamamo-no-Mae! I have always done as I pleased. If I have helped others, it is because I liked them, or merely at a whim, and it made me feel less bored. If I have hurt others, it was likely for fickle reasons. And now… I simply wish to sleep eternally, fet everything. If there is reination, which I doubt…” She snorted, mog the monk. “…I have done much good, but far, far more for ill. Yet I suspeo rebirth could torture me as much as the damnable monk did. You feel it, yes?”

  “I do.” I agreed, now slowly bleeding from my orifices, mental representations of the pain, which even here was now like thousands of fiery aing away at my body. “But… I need you! We need you! So I’ll endure. Because I have a goal. That’s what you cked…”

  “You think you know?” My words made her happy, though it leasure born of meanspirited joy. “I had goals, at first. Revenge on that bastard Zixin. To save Caihong’er and pretty Liena. Other, tra wishes… but they are the first things to fail.” She snorted, patting me on the head, and I flinched from her touch, as it sparked pain. “If you beg me to let you go, I . I am not that monk. I hardly hate you, little fool. After all… you helped me achieve one of my wishes washed away by time and torment. But then you shall sy me. Take what little remains of me as my gift to you.”

  “Not happening.” I shook my head. “I’m a stubborn bastard when I want to be.”

  “I thought the same. But my fideurned out to be arrogan the end. I begged. I pleaded. I offered my body, which was no great loss, for while I hated that man, one still take joy i, even without love. I then offered my heart, for I broke. I truly believed if he set me free from pain, I would love him. I would crawl and lick his feet, be his dog, his servant, his everything. In the end I would have eve him take my name, as you have tried. Being his, body and soul. But all he needed was my suffering. So when I ran out of degrading s, I shut myself away. Let so much burn to ashes. I… I remember what I did, who I loved, who I hated. But the emotions themselves are so… distant. Disected. Perhaps Tamamo-no-Mae died. I am not she anymore. Merely a ghost with her memories…”

  “Haru… had the same worries.” I spat, more blood glistening like silver rubies. “But when… her father saw her again, even though she had ged, and he knew her, treasured her… she khat just because she was a ghost, didn’t mean she wasn’t herself. Your problem is… you have no oo anchor you, reaffirm you. Nebisuki could, a little… but perhaps you need Su Caihong or someone like her. We’ll go north, together, and… argh!”

  I colpsed with a scream. Even through just the fihread eg me to the other Split Thoughts, the pain was truly unbearable. As she looked down oh satisfa, I drew on all my reserves of strength and forced myself to my feet, stopping halfway to puke more blood. “…you’ll see that you are still you.” I finished, and she actually cpped her hands softly, slightly impressed.

  “A worthy performance. I apologise for calling you a weak boy. It takes someorong to withstand sud keep your focus. I admire it. If these were happier times, I would definitely indulge. But… you are on the verge of colpse. Soon you will beg me to let you go. Or try and seduce me. Then es your all to me. And in the end, you will shut down, burn yourself for a moment of respite. If it is stant, you learn to e, you so boldly decred to me? Well…” She licked her lips, toying with me, more how I imagihe legendary Kitsuo be, though I could see under her amusement she too was suffering. “…how is it? Have the fmes of endless suffering dropped low enough for you to willingly stay burning in their embrace?”

  I spoke no answer, my only reply a gritting of my teeth, and a shifting of the se, her bitter ughter following us…

  ***

  I had stopped ting my mantra, now merely staring bnkly at the Formations. Without that to g to, it was near impossible to think, like I was trapped at the heart of a volo, breathing in poisonous gases and bathing in molten magma. Why… am I doing this again? Oh… yeah… to wiamamo-no-Mae. But… I’m dying. I feel it. She has my respect, enduring this. It’s been… what? A month? A year? If there was something distinct to focus on… but here in the Sessho-seki there’s nothing to show the passage of time…

  Closing my eyes, for a moment I nearly gave in, only to reect with my separated Thought a little. That flooded it with pain too, but it also jolted me back to what I was doing. Damn, Uranai wasn’t kidding, but… This was surely one of those problems where knowing failure was a near-certainly was a way to beat it. I ’t have grown that much stronger in just a month or so, so all I o do is push on when I want to give up, do it a few times and… I’ll win.

  Needing something else to focus on, I started simuting some Chirurgery in my head, shutting out everythiernal, less than successfully. My thoughts kept blurring and scattering, but I persevered. I’ll his for if… no, when this is over…

  ***

  “Still here, are we?” I was doubled over, barely able to move, but I raised one shaking hand and gave Tamamo-no-Mae a thumbs up, answering her question. She cocked her head, puzzled at the gesture.

  “It’s… saying… everything’s okay.” I mao wheeze.

  “Is it? I hardly think so. Your stubbornness will kill you. My aowards you has died off. I would let you go if I could. Unfortunately…” She actually did look sorry. “I am far from my best. I ot recall my anger now, it has escaped my fragile grasp. Have no fear, I shall likely perish when you do, or mere moments after. My body was ravaged, ibalised. Managing my st strength proved beyo seems. I rideful until the end. For what it is worth… you did try.”

  “Trying doesn’t t for… shit.” I coughed. “I’m not here for the participation… prize.”

  “So fierce.” The foxwoman smirked. “I agree. Many tried to defeat me, and only that wretched monk succeeded. But in the end, for what?” She looked around at my memory, of defeating Mary Stuart and her false Angels in London. “Yes, the world ges but it is still the same. The pyground of those with power. Once I was one of those.”

  “That’s why we op… striving. I may be far strohan… I’ve ever been, but a boy with a slingshot fell and… kill a legendary knight.” I grated out, matg the tone of the se. “And I don’t… want to… be getting hit by that… stone. Which is why I… need… you.”

  “Oh, I fot how it felt to have my heart race. Much as I hated that Cultivator who trapped me, I also grew to crave his love, for if he loved me, he would not wish to hurt me. I despise myself, I do. Do you perhaps love me now, crave my passion? I told you, it is too te…” She reached down a hand to me, and I pushed it away weakly.

  “Don’t ftter… yourself. Don’t… get me wrong, you’re… certainly a legendary beauty… but… nobody I love… loses to you!” I ged the image to all of the girls, though the allied wrong. “No… I need you to… protect our future. In exge… we’ll be… rades. I’ll help you…find a pce where you be … yourself, and … never be bored again. In exge… you protect them, and…. atone…” Only by trating on my goal could I keep sa wasn’t so much the pain… Who am I trying to fool? The pain is unbearable, but… it was the slow disiion and regeion, which was rapidly wearing me down.

  “Atone? Why?” she asked, genuinely puzzled. “Those I have wrohose I have hurt… from what you have shown me, I have been trapped for more than a thousand years. Perhaps some still live, such as Nebisuki, but… what good would it do them?”

  “It does… you… good.” I surprised her. “If everything is b, meanio you… give it… meaning!” Oh damn, it’s so hard to think now. No… it seems like time has passed, but it’s all in my… our mind. Tomorrow’s still… Daiyu’s birthday. And I’ll not… give her grief as a present… “Be a person who… does good. Save the Kitsune who remain, many of them… will be your… kin… your family. Protect the world… you once made mistakes in… and save all the… fun… that you’ve never… exper…”

  I couldn’t finish, the world lurg, inky blue darkness drowning me, sug me down. I could hear a faint, slightly disappointed voice, so faint and distant… “…rather a shame. He was right, here at the end, someoo talk to… it was hardly so bad. But none bear what I have borne…”

  ***

  Is this my limit? Was I too reckless? No… no it isn’t. This is where… I have to push through. Essentially just a thought trapped within a bubble of torment, I ughed at myself. If only this wasn’t a frozen moment, a slow exhation of thought, then I could have something to g onto. But…

  … v… … … …

  … e…

  … u… … …

  … p…

  A slow, ponderous thought sawed through the darkness, something to g to. Each sound, each sylble, seemed to take a sed, and also a dozen years. But the voice I reised. Eri. Of course…

  I had shut out the others so they didn’t get trapped in this mess, but Eri’s link was different. Momentarily brightened by that, I could hold on again for a while longer, but soon, after an iermiime, I once more sank into despondency, my spirit ready to surrender. I went beyond my limits, so… shouldn’t I have succeeded? Or no… do I have to go further?

  Eri’s soft thoughts were drowned out, no longer able to sustain me. Wryly, I imagined Uranai ughing at me, thinking I could cheat her prophecy. It was fitting, in a way… Wait, no, no it isn’t! For a moment I had almost given ihe thought of failure send me slipping into the endless silence of death. Uanding just why Tamamo-no-Mae had given into her destructive impulses, I mao apologise to her, in the distance. I had stopped showing her ses, not able to spare the mental energy, but… O one… maybe?

  ***

  “I’m… sorry.” I croaked, and the fox looked down at me, surprised.

  “I had thought you finished.” She was usiails as a seat, and she patted one, gesturing for me to e. With bloody hands I crawled my way across the darkness which had the solidity of the ground, and slumped on her, golden fur tipped with red now stained silver and crimson as I dirtied it. I was surprised as a tail ed around me, and it was oddly… f. “e to beg? Like I said, it is far too te…”

  “No. Sorry. I shouldn’t have… told you… how to feel. This is… very unbearable. You must have been… truly strong…”

  Surprised, she ughed. “I hought that would be your st words. Yes, I was strong, unsurpassed even. But everyone break. You draw your strength from others. If those others are no longer with you, are you merely a hollow shell?”

  “No. No.” The se blurred, and this memory I could barely hold together with what little mental strength I had left. Tamamo-no-Mae looked around, intrigued, at the faded, almost gss-like se. “If all I do… is… take… strength… not… fair.” I had to start omitting words, as my willpower was bottoming out. “…right to… be strong… them… also… for myself.”

  I don’t think I do it. I haven’t… the strength. But… in a month… just maybe… she’d be…

  “So what is this? You were right. It was not b for once.” She gnced around at the bright lights and bustle of Las Vegas, the hordes of people, seemingly made of shadows and stained gss. “I have seen simir already…”

  “Sorry.” I croaked again, colpsing most of my Split Thoughts into one desperate surge of will, holding the pain in another. Only… seds… or what feels like it… “But… you could have dohis… easy… way…”

  With all my might I pulled on the invisible tail of Tamamo-no-Mae I held. It wasn’t the firm grasp I had like on Shinkume-no-Hana’s, even weakened and a shadow of her former majesty, Tamamo-no-Mae roud, unyielding. But she was weaker perhaps even than I was now. It’s quite possible to die from pain, or at least break into an idiot. But I o remember… I may be spent, but pared to what she’s endured…

  Tamamo-no-Mae shimmered, the thought-form of her wavering. Her tails stood up and she cried out, but I was resolute, g all of my will down oail like it was my lifeline, whideed it was. “I shall not… yield…” She decred. “Even Nurarihyon ot…. bind… me…”

  “That was… then. Sorry. I don’t want… to… ensve you… but I need you to… stop this!”

  “I warned you, I ot, I am too weak, too worn… no!” She widened her eyes, realising she was vulnerable.

  “Just… try. All… I ask.” She shuddered, drool scattering from her mouth, vulsing as she struggled, a fox caught in a trap. It evaporated, and the image I had used to distract her faded to a cage of mirrors. Everywhere she looked she could see herself, and me. I ’t hold this… long. “You set… it… in… motion. Release me, and…”

  “…and?” She gnawed on her lip, tearing it open. Her chest heaved as she tried to resist, but even as the pain she had experienced tio fy my st defences, I could feel her withdrawing her darkness element, and cracks were spreading through her dreamscape, light seeping in, looking like sunlight creeping through dark clouds.

  “...we’ll talk about it. After!” I pushed through a limit I would have surreo, if I wasn’t aware I just o go a little further, a little faster, not to die. Rejeg the pain but accepting the suffering Tamamo-no-Mae had endured, I pulled, and overpped her with my Silver e, for the first time, being truly synised. Doing so was a different sort of pain. As her Sea of Thought, as Daiyu called it, colpsed, all her remembered pain gushed into me, my actual Astral body and mind, and the sudden torrent would have drowned me, washed me aerhaps even killed me, but… It might have just been an illusion, but it felt real to me… so… I let it wash through me, and more to the point, took it. The burden osune lessened, her sciousness rising from the dark er she had hidden it in, a bitter, frightened being who had let everything burn down to embers just to preserve one quiet, solitary sense of self. As my eyes flickered open in the Boundary, I found myself still holding Tamamo-no-Mae, lying on the p of Shaeu, who was grinning happily. Everyone else looked sour, but on seeing me open my eyes, they smiled, relief on their faces.

  Shaeu reached down with one soft hand and stroked my hair gently. “So, you woke-woke up. I never did harbour any doubts you would, but-but…” Her smile was now blindingly radiant. “…I still-still believe you o apologise for making them worry.”

  Relief flooded me, and I g the fox in my arms, as her eyelids began to flutter, aails slowly twitched. Is that it… did we… do the impossible? Exhausted, the brief time I had spent in her mental world seeming now a distant, yet awful eternity, I drew a long, shuddering breath, tasting ash and sulphur, as well as a rich, earthy smell. I never want to have to do this again…