It's been a while.

  Despite everything that happened, I'm feeling somewhat okay now.

  Currently, I'm reading a bit in the library.

  It became my favorite place for all the natural reasons.

  No spiders have any business here, and it isn't half as disturbing as the forest above ground.

  In here, I don't have to deal with any troubles at all and can just relax.

  Since I’ve gotten better at reading these letters, I can entertain myself with a few of the easier stories.

  I even found myself a bit of a hideout I'm barely small enough to crawl into tucked away in a corner.

  Then put some book piles in front, and with night vision, the reading round can get started.

  Yes, I know I should probably get used to everything, and I'm really making progress.

  The sanctuary, at times, is still kinda disturbing to me, but I've gotten a lot better.

  By now, I can even persevere through any spider encounters with making only light squeaks.

  So I think it should be fine if I'm going easy at times.

  "Hello, Neri. How are you today?" (M)

  "Squeeeak!" (N)

  Why does this predator sneak up to my cover?!

  And how did she know I was here in the first place?!

  "Oh no, Neri! Are you alright, Neri? I didn't mean to startle you, Neri!" (M)

  ...Sigh.

  Under any other circumstances, I'd be quite content with the usage of my name.

  The issue is, I know why she's doing it.

  After my little... uh, episode, the others became quite a bit more well-meaning towards me.

  To be precise, they're treating me like a raw egg.

  The thing is, it's already been quite a while since this incident happened, yet they don't seem intent on stopping anytime soon.

  Might have to do with the difference in age span an Arachne has in comparison to a human, because, personally, I think my recovery from that trauma has gone surprisingly smoothly.

  Especially, as I discovered the best thing to do with those memories whenever they come up again.

  Namely, I found that I can simply push them into a box I imagined and lock it tightly so that they can’t leak out.

  Yep, this has been working extremely well!

  I am no longer troubled by that at all!

  "Masiabi, it's weird if you use my name excessively. Also, please, don't wait with talking till the last second. How did you even find me?" (N)

  "Uh, you know I'm somewhat good at that, right?" (M)

  Okay, point for her.

  "But why did you sneak up on me in the first place?” (N)

  "I just wanted to verify if you're feeling better." (M)

  "Yes, I am. Why're you asking?" (N)

  "Uh, after what happened, you didn't even leave your quarters for the first days. Even now, you're not really going outside anymore. Not to speak of how you stopped visiting your familiars." (M)

  I admit, it could be that I took a little bit of advantage of the trauma excuse.

  Doesn't mean I intend to stop doing so.

  If I concentrate, according to my mental link, all my familiars are fine and... in bloodlust?

  Oh, White Lady, I think they're ripping apart a deer right now!

  Stop the input.

  Stop the input!

  “Ergh.” (N)

  “Neri?” (M)

  "I-I’m okay. I just wanted to take it a little easy to recover after what happened. Isn't that alright, big sis?" (N)

  As expected, she freezes for a moment before strangely shivering.

  "MMRRRRRHHHHMM. Uh, yes, sure it is. At least for me. I mean, you're still my little sister, right?" (M)

  If I got aware of one thing about Masiabi, then it’s that she really fawns over everything sister related.

  If you indulge this need even a tiny, little bit, she becomes totally accommodating.

  Yes, okay, maybe I'm taking advantage of her in this way, but given how many cuddles she helped herself to with me and how much pleasure she derives from me doing this, I'd say she's hardly the victim in this relationship.

  "Sure, I am. Uh, what did you mean by at least you?" (N)

  "Oh right. I wanted to tell you that Eritu is looking for you. No idea why. Take care!" (M)

  Oh shit, Eritu?!

  She's going to make me resume my training!

  I just know it!

  Maybe it's going to be even worse, because I was slacking off so much.

  Can I hide?

  But Masiabi already found me here.

  What about running?

  But how far could I get away before she catches up?

  Would that even matter with how many familiars she has on scouting duty?

  Masiabi catches that I'm not really in a state to engage with her and simply leaves.

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  Thus, I'm again alone in the library.

  As I can’t work out an idea of how to proceed from here on out, I end up leaving my hideout and crawl back out into the library hall.

  "Scrcscrcscrcscrcscrc"

  Suddenly, I hear the sound of heavy skittering.

  And it draws closer.

  I don't expect to be attacked, at least not in a harmful way, and Masiabi just went the other direction.

  Nonetheless, there's this dread I can't shut off.

  Which turns to freezing paralysis once I gain sight of what rapidly draws close.

  Oh my god!

  Giant spider!

  Giant spider!!!

  It's a dark, blood-red monster with a thick, fuzzy coat.

  Maybe almost as big as Talisa, but the huge, bulky legs stretch quite long from the body, making it worse.

  The coat covering this enormous terror is ragged in places, the carapace plainly showing through the stubble, yet this makes it even more frightening.

  When my eyes latch onto the white fangs with red near the tips, like a bloody knife, I can no longer keep silent.

  "Iiiiieeeeeeeeeeehhhhhkk!" (N)

  At this, the spider stops and shifts to bring several of its dark green eyes to bear on me, then quickly starts to shrink down.

  Its legs pull themselves inward, towards the back, while the head creeps backwards.

  Meanwhile, from the underbelly, skin crawls up, arms and legs extend, and a human head with brown-red hair raises itself.

  I-it's one of my sisters.

  Eritu.

  Next, her eyes snap open, and the frail, currently naked girl returns her, now human, gaze to me.

  "You seem quite out of it. Is something wrong?" (E)

  Wrong!?

  Nope, nothing wrong, I was just screaming for fun!

  "You're asking me this when you just rushed at me in your spider form?!" (N)

  "Oh, I thought this was fine now." (E)

  "What made you think so?! Also, you're naked!" (N)

  "Oh, right. Just give me a moment." (E)

  Just now, I noticed that there's a bundle hanging down from her side.

  It's fabric!

  More precisely, her clothes, which she puts on with practiced nimbleness, so that in mere moments she's standing in front of me fully clothed.

  "Alright. I guess now we can talk. We need to discuss something." (E)

  This is where the dread comes over me.

  If Eritu wants to talk, this can only be about my interaction, or rather the lack of it, with my familiars.

  I know I neglected them in the past days, but running within spider form...

  No, no!

  Back in the box!

  No images needed here!

  "Neri! It's alright! Please stop trembling!" (E)

  Right.

  I really am.

  Just recounting what happened does that to me.

  I need to simply ignore it and forget.

  "Calm down, Neri. I don't intend to scold you. I realize that I was maybe a little too harsh and disregarded your limits and needs. It's incredibly sad how this affects your relationship to your familiars, but all we can do is work on slowly getting there, right?" (E)

  If she says "work", how soon and at what intensity does she have in mind?

  "I, I'm not sure if I'm already prepared for revisiting my nest room yet." (N)

  "Hm, that is a bit of an issue, especially as the time is drawing near." (E)

  "Time? What time?" (N)

  "Your next emergence, of course! Your last was over two months ago. So if your inner workings are going right, this means the next is right around the corner. I had hoped we could this time introduce them properly to the world instead of having them suffer the same terrible trauma as your first batch. Those poor things." (E)

  Trauma?!

  If anyone deserves to claim that, it's me!

  Though if I'd argue here, she would surely point out how they came with natural expectations into this world, and the first thing they witness is how their mother totally freaks out because they exist.

  Not to mention that I commanded them to go away and stay still at the same time, which apparently screwed their functional minds a bit.

  Damn, this mental link makes me all-too understanding for those creepers.

  Though it's not like they can do anything about it.

  No, their existence is on me.

  Urgh.

  And the next batch is coming any day now.

  Okay, maybe this won't be so bad?

  I mean, last time I was barely conscious about what happened.

  So maybe... Okay, the violent ripples all around my skin beg to differ.

  "It's okay, Neri. We just need to get you so far that you can properly interact with your familiars, and this time, give them a proper welcome to this world. I'm sure everything is going to commence without a hitch." (E)

  Should I mention here that I'm by no means that far?!

  "If it helps, this time, their number should be less, as your body had time to settle down a bit." (E)

  I'm not all that sure about this.

  I mean, in some way, it helps, but it's more like a decrease from absolutely traumatic to only very traumatic.

  "I, I'm not sure. It's just so scary." (N)

  "Why don't we start small? I even had an idea. By the way, where is your humanoid familiar?" (E)

  Liana?

  What the heck would she want from her?

  Truth be told, the two of us went a little out of each other's ways in the time after "the incident".

  I even got it prioritized that she would get her own chamber, because things were rather awkward between us after the incident.

  Though, unfortunately, it's not quite finished yet, which is why the only alternative was taking quarters close to the nest with my other familiar, which she still took, and is telling a lot.

  The issue is, I can feel that she is a little agitated with how I controlled her as well when I panicked.

  Apparently, she was not only forced into the conduct of protecting me at any cost to herself, which is understandably simply too much, but she also got my feelings of panic, rage, and primal fear directly injected into her mind.

  The foggy, dim feeling that came from her for some time afterwards makes me worry that she may have had an even worse time of it than I, which is saying a lot.

  This didn't only take a mental toll on her either, as she’s been sleeping often, trying to recover.

  Of one thing I can be certain, being controlled by a monster like this isn't a nice thing.

  "Why do you want to know?" (N)

  "I believe we could have her act as some kind of bridge to address your issues. You aren't scared of her as you are of your other familiars. So maybe we can make use of this and get you to associate your familiars in a similar way." (E)

  I am wholly unconvinced about this.

  Furthermore, it would mean getting poor Liana involved again.

  I already tried everything I could so the others would leave her alone and not demand stuff like helping hunt down deer or dissolving stuff in acid.

  No, I would rather keep everything stressful away from her, as no one does for me.

  "I, I don't think this is a good idea." (N)

  "You're sure? I just thought you should bring this up to her. As the good familiar she is, she seemed pretty concerned about your well-being. Maybe you two can figure something out. Otherwise, she's probably going to feel the mental backlash if your emergence goes poorly." (E)

  She is!?

  Oh, no!

  Of course she is!

  The same happened during my panic!

  I don't want her to suffer from my anxiety!

  "I, I see you gave it some thought. That's all I wanted from you." (E)

  Just now, I noticed that Eritu's tone with me got a lot softer than in the past.

  "Aren't you going to scold me for ignoring my familiars for so long?” (N)

  "Uh, Neri, I hope you know that I'm not against you. You see, yes, I'm a tiny bit sad about how you can't interact with your familiars, but the truth is that I only want you to grow comfortable. That you can adjust is all that matters. Also, the mere fact that you're feeling guilty about not visiting proves to me that you care. I'll just continue to believe that one day this feeling of kinship will be enough to not only make you feel guilty, but to fully accept them." (E)

  At the last part, she got really emotional.

  It gives testament to how much she cares.

  "Well, that was everything I had for you. Please, stay ready for it to happen. But you should know that you can always come to me." (E)

  That sounded actually nice.

  But now she's leaving.

  With this, I have only one last possible course of action.

  I need to talk it out with Liana.