Inanna did her job as well as I expected. Which is to say immaculately. The hangar has been cleared leaving plenty of room for the landing. Every officer has their uniform done up by the book to the tiniest detail. All the documents are sorted and ready to sign. She even got a message in binary displayed across the artificial sky. No idea what it says but I'm sure it's something nice.

  "First Officer Inanna, you have done excellently."

  "Thank you Sir. And Captain, about what I said."

  "Save it. Not like you said anything that wasn't true. We can figure that all out later. In the meantime, what's the plan for this negotiation?"

  "Standard practice is to emphasize the benefits of joining the Union. Healthcare, clean food and water, rapid advances in technology."

  "Do the Diegitron need any of that?"

  "This is what we are meant to emphasize. Was there something you thought would be of greater value."

  "Well, weapons for one. They are in a war after all."

  "That is extremely improper. We are meant to stress a peaceful joining of our states. Not help them destroy their enemies."

  "Hey, you're the boss."

  "I-I'm not."

  Heh, she's cute when flattered. A cute frog girl three times my weight. This is a weird job.

  "Sure you aren't. When's our guest going to arrive?"

  "If they are as punctual as the reports say, they should be arriving in three, two, one."

  Scanners indicate an incoming jump. The ship arrives immediately after. It's smaller than I expected. Smaller than even my old frigate. Boxy and oddly shaped. Looks more like a broken refrigerator than some hyper advanced super destroyer. A small craft detaches from one of the sides. Must be the shuttle bringing the delegate.

  "Out of curiosity, if it came to it, could we take them?"

  "From this range?" Inanna tries to be extra quiet, as if the guest was right in front of us already. "Not a chance."

  "Great, good to know."

  The shuttle enters. Passing slowly through the deflector shield and hovering closer with machine precision. Landing is fast. Things on the ground and opening its passenger bay in seconds. The entire structure unfolds like a present on Winter Solstice morn. Twenty or more troops could have been out of the craft and on the attack before I had time to load a single energy mag. Instead, there is only one.

  I'd seen several pictures of Diegitons. Each one was distinctly different. They come in many models which are always changing, updating, becoming better suited to their designated role. The one before me was clearly meant to be a diplomat. Thin and tall with a simple humanoid appearance. Its face was not attempting to look human, or any other kind of biological at all. Instead there was a mostly blank rounded form with a few LED lights making up its face. It has a dignified, yet unthreatening feel.

  "On behalf of the Galactic Union, I welcome you to my vessel. Expeditionary Captain Tom at your service."

  Great, now I sound like Triterroran.

  "I hope your journey was pleasant. I understand how difficult it can be to get to Union space safely."

  "Statement: Appreciation is in order for your concerns. My journey was uneventful."

  Mechanicals generally have issues with tone and emotion. They try, it's not their fault. This guy, on the other hand, is completely monotone. A synthesized voice as fake and robotic as possible. There is this very old clip of the first ever digitized voice singing some song about flowers and carriages. That one put in more of an effort.

  "Glad to hear it. Negotiations aren't scheduled for a little while longer. How about a tour of the ship? Might be good to stretch out the gears. Maybe grab a bite to eat. Does your species eat? I just checked out the hydroponics bay a little while ago and they have the biggest-"

  If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.

  "Ehem."

  Inanna interrupted me. Was I getting too chummy or something?

  "Er, that is to say, I believe we can discuss the details on the way to the conference room."

  "Response: There is currently forty two minutes and thirty eight seconds until the agreed negotiation phase. Understanding potential Galactic Union benefits to the Diegiton appears the most appropriate course of action for the intermediate time. Please, show me these Aquaponics."

  Is this a good thing or... no matter. Let's get this tour going.

  "Acknowledgment: In order to update your files for future reference, my race has no need for biological sustenance."

  "That's fine, I'll describe the taste for you."

  Inanna doesn't look too happy. I'm supposed to be going on about healthcare or whatever. I just thought showing would be better than telling. Besides, look at these views. A whole swarm of fish and squids in shapes and colors I had no idea existed swirling like a rainbows in a drop of water suspended by stars. That's got to touch even their metal hearts, right?

  "Inquiry: Numerous species appear to make up the crew of this vessel. How many are within the thrall of the Galactic Union?"

  "Thrall? No, see they are here willingly. Membership is entirely voluntary. As for how many, last I checked we had, what was it, sixty thousand? It was sixty thousand, right?"

  "Sixty three thousand four hundred and twenty-seven."

  Of course Inanna would have it memorized.

  "Inquire: What is your species?"

  "Oh, I'm a Human."

  "Acknowledgement: Species Identification Human. Downloading all relevant files on Human."

  "I didn't know you had files on Humans. We are a pretty minor race."

  "Correction: Diegiton possesses no information on the Human species. I am merely downloading all relevant files from this vessel's database."

  I can see Inanna's blood pressure rising with those words.

  "You can't do that! Our system files are behind the highest possible security the Union has to offer!"

  "Correction: Files accessed."

  "Wait! You shouldn't be able to-"

  "It's too late Inanna. Give it up."

  I had heard the Diegiton were advanced but not to this degree. No wonder the Galactic Union has been so terrified of these guys. Most hostiles would hide an advantage this severe. Either they really are here to negotiate, or they see us as so weak in comparison it's not even worth hiding the difference.

  "Intrigue: Human history is full of hatred and fear against Mechanical beings. Large portions of your popular media involve hostile and destructive AI. A strong anti-mechanical sentiment continues to this modern day."

  "They have that in our files?"

  "Affirmation: Included in the files is millions of hours of classical entertainment. Inquiry: What is this Terminator and how have there been sixty three of them?"

  Yeah, I've been wondering that my whole life, too.

  "I know this doesn't look great. Just know it really isn't personal. Humans just hate everyone, even themselves."

  "Inquiry: Why do Humans hate to such a degree?"

  "It's... complicated. When Humans don't understand something they start to fear it. And fear quickly leads to hate. It's a defense mechanism against danger. And I won't lie, we go too far with it."

  "Inquiry: Do you fear me?"

  Inanna is making every gesture of NO she can.

  "Yes." Sorry Inanna. "I hope you don't hold that against me. It's just I don't even know your name."

  "Information: This unit does not possess personal identification."

  "No name? Not even like a code?"

  "Confirmation: Negative. My existence is defined by purpose and purpose alone. I am a diplomat. That is my purpose and identity."

  "Is that why they sent you alone?"

  "Affirmation: Correct. My personal existence is of no consequence. Should this vessel become a threat to the Diegiton, the vessel which transported me here has orders to fire at will. Regardless of if I still reside inside."

  "That seems rather-"

  "Efficient!"

  Inanna, what are you doing?

  "It is the Galactic Union's desire to celebrate all cultures. No matter how strange their values may seem to us."

  Inanna, you just celebrated that this guy might die.

  "Statement: My expendability is not a cultural choice. The constant and unending loss of Diegiton units has reduced the value of each individual unit to the level of being insignificant."

  War is not culture; it is the failure of it. Hundreds of years of war doesn't create a legacy, it destroys it. We have no idea what the Diegitron were like before that. Perhaps they weren't so bad.

  "She didn't mean it like that. First Officer Inanna was merely-"

  "Attention: There is now three minutes and twenty one seconds until the scheduled negotiation phase. I shall be rerouting our transport so that we will be there in time."

  "Right. Punctuality is a virtue."

  This is going about as well as I expected. Hopefully the negotiation itself will go better. I haven't seen the Conference Room yet. Crazy that this guy has been here for under an hour and already knows the ship better than I do. I still have no idea what we are going to offer the Diegitron. Then again, they came to us. If they are as organized as they are terrifying I won't have to offer crap. Just sign some papers and have it done. I think these negotiations will go just fine.